Sponsoring a Drug Addict or Alcoholic  

 You can't fix someone from drugs or alcohol. I had a friend from the gym who I got into the program. She was hooked on crack and alcohol, her daily reprieve. 

She wasn't looking for a sponsor, but I suppose saw me as her enabler.  She had many boyfriends too. Her tactic was to lure various males into relationships, so she could then convince them to buy her crack for her. She tapped into the men in the program, vulnerable somewhat, newbies who saw the easy sex issue as all important, more so than their own sobriety and safety as human beings. 

She managed to hook in 32 men from the program, getting them into her car, taking off her underwear, offering herself, getting them entwined with her, then threatening to report them for rape if they didn't buy her crack. 

I just couldn't convince her and this was going on while I didn't know, mostly. When I found out about a few of these incidents and the drama, I asked her to go to sex addicts anonymous. This angered her, and she was really mad at me for telling he about this. I mean, being a sex addict for drugs just isn't normal, and her relationships were really dramatic surrounding drugs. 

She called me on the phone one day telling me once again she was with one of her boyfriends & was using crack. I was supposed to enable her and coddle her, in her view. I told her not to call me anymore because I wasn't going to tolerate her habitual drug use. She became furious and called the police and told the police I had threatened her. 

I've been falsely accused quite several times in my life, but I did have to answer to a detective. I went in to discuss the issue with the detective. He told me he had 32 rape reports by her for 32 different men. I told him, that I was her sponsor & got her into the 12-step program, and she wouldn't listen to me. I suppose the threat was withdrawing myself as an enabler of her abuse and drug usage.  

I don't know if the men were actually innocent or guilty, but I do know that she would tell me about how she would take off her underpants in her car with various guys she liked. I noticed that she would get them to buy her crack, probably so she wouldn't be caught or arrested. 

I stopped being her sponsor and I did cease sponsoring others, or trying to save their lives, from that point on. Trying to fix a broken record may not be possible, and most often they resent good advice and guidance. They think it's a threat to their drugged lifestyles and will go as far as to make felony false police reports, which then goes on my police complaint record making people question my character, which is disturbing at times. 

You can't fix anyone when they are addicted, and most often, if you try to help them, they resent it and think you are their enemy, so sponsors beware. Doing good will is not always seen as good will. They can become very hostile if you ask them to go to an AA meeting.  Getting the drug or the drink becomes more important than any relationship, trust, the bills, responsibilities, and what's best for the job or the kids. It's best to take care of yourself and only work with honest, diligent people who have proven they are taking every step to stay clean and sober, so you don't get used as an enabler. 

There are millions of “functional drug addicts" and “functional alcoholics” though too. You'll see them in the workplace, anywhere, in the police forces, in our government body, at school, and they will make you think they are normal because they go to work and earn monies, or have enough monies to pay the bills. Just because they are functioning at a certain level, doesn't mean they are functionally clean and sober. 

You'll find prescription drug addicts, addicts, and alcoholics sometimes in religious bodies, such as priests, rabbis, and more. Many judges who sit on the bench are prescription junkies and alcoholics. You'll find the problem in every walk of life, no matter how high or low you look.  

Only help those who sincerely want the help, and only if you have the time.  It's an anonymous program, so don't kiss and tell. The worse thing you can do is betray the trustworthiness of the anonymous program.  It's not about PR, property, and prestige. 

Many people go into the program just to get court papers signed, but are not there to get clean and sober. They are just trying to give the court something, so they can get out of going to jail. Some go to the program because they can get a room in a recovery house paid for by the State and are not there to work the program or get clean and sober. They use the program as crash houses only and move from place to place, cause when they get discovered using, they are told to leave. 

Some go to the program and see it as a pickup joint. It's not. It's not a place for easy pickins, yet there may be those who are like my old sponsored who refused to give up the crack and alcohol.  

Let's face it, alcohol or drugs, or both destroyed enough of our lives and trying to have normal relationships or even a normal workforce of some sort with alcoholics and drug addicts may also be difficult.   

May you trudge the road of happy recovery. 

 

 

Comedy writing sample. 

c 2022 by Debbie Davidsohn – All Rights Reserved

 

Sex Lines

(Comedy or Drama?)

Flash Fiction, Prose, a Scene, whatever you want to make of it…

(This is in prose & flash fiction format, but can be transposed into a working scene)

 

            Sarah reached begrudgingly towards the side of her bed to answer the phone. Her short red hair was rumpled up in matted clumps. She noticed a squished chocolate covered donut to the right of her squashed to her tanned bed sheets.

            “Hello, Hollywood Hottie Line. Sheena speaking. How can I help you?” she answered in a deep sultry voice.

            Sarah stood up with the phone leaning on her shoulder and looked at herself in her full-length mirror. She was wearing a black leather jacket still, which she fell asleep in, was 4’10”, wore a crinkled t-shirt, and was about 40 pounds overweight.

            She spoke into the phone with a breathy tone of voice and said, “I’m wearing hot pink silk stockings, have on black leather pumps, and have you between my E size red silk bra.  I’m taking off my silk stockings now. Oh, you are the largest man, I’ve ever known!”

            In the mirror, Sarah noticed her own disgusted look as she frowned at herself in the mirror and gritted her teeth.

            “As fast as you like honey.  If you don’t hurry, I’m going to go over there and tie you up to your chair with my pink silk stockings.”

            She heard a loud moan in her earpiece and had to pull the phone a few inches away from her head.

            “That’s a good boy.  Until next time, sweetie.” She then hung up the phone.

            Noticing the time, she quickly put on her hi-tops, grabbed her motorcycle keys, and left her apartment.

            Sarah revved up her motorcycle engine and took off to a local bar called Clippers. She regularly hung out there, sitting at the bar, talking to her buddies and strangers, drinking whatever the other person was drinking.

            On this evening, her buddy Natlie was drinking at the bar, and so was the bartender, Al.

            “Hey Sarah, how many pink stockings did you have to use tonight?” Al smiled, as he poured her a shot of tequila.

            “Aw man, at $150.00 dollars a pop, you’d think I would need a hundred a day, but tonight it was maybe seven. Yesterday was much better. They maybe need to do more late-night advertising or change the women they are using in their ads,” Sheena replied, reaching for the shot of tequila. She quickly gulped down the tequila, slammed the shot glass down, and silently demanded more.

            “Have you ever met up with any of your night callers?” asked Natlie. She took the salt shaker and shook some of the salt on the back of her hand, then licked up the salt, and gulped down a shot of tequila.

            “Hell no woman! I’d lose all my business if they knew I was a short overweight ugly dyke with no interest in men at all. These men actually believe that Sheena is a 5’11, super-blonde Playboy bunny with a 40-inch set of knockers, a 26-inch waist, and with 35-inch hips. My clients toot monies out of their asses non-stop, because of their own imaginations.”

            All three laughed. Al took a swig from his shot glass and put a bottle of tequila down on the bar between them, then, poured himself another. “Hey, that’s how I kept my marriage going all those years; I just closed my eyes and imagined Monroe” Al said. He swigged down another shot of tequila.

            “It’s a living. You can’t knock it. You should see the other women who work for the line. I look good compared to some of ‘em” Sarah smiled.

            Al looks at Sarah sardonically. “You think you’re ugly? You should see my x-wife! Man, she let herself go bad.”

            “Je-zuz Al. You guys are all the same. It’s always about what she looks like and not what she makes you feel like” Sarah told Al with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

            Natlie agreed and poured some more salt on the back of her hand. “Well, that’s why I had breast implants put in, two ribs removed, and do the gym 2 hours a day. I couldn’t live, if Jerry left me.  He can come home to his own hottie right in his own bedroom.”

            “Jerry who, Natlie?” asked Sarah. “I had a Jerry on my line the other day. He told me his wife was boring him to tears and he needed a diversion for a change.”

            Natlie looked down at her drink ready to cry. “I can’t believe it. I thought we were doing so well. I work so hard at pleasing that man. I even installed a pole in the bedroom so I could do those naughty dances for him.”

            Sarah smiles at Natlie. “I’m just kidding Natlie.”

            "No you're not!" Natlie replied. 

            "You're just being nice. He's bored of me".

            Sarah is serious: "I really am joking round some Natlie

            Don't get all worked up and do anything I wouldn't do."

            Natlie looks into the distance thinking up strategy trying to resolve her                           husband's boredom, somehow. 

            "I'm just gonna have to be someone else. Let's see, I'll get a wig in a                               different color,  change my fashion, take down the stripper pole..."

            Sarah interrupts Natlie. . . 

            "Or,  you could burn his dinner & morning toast, leave your place a                                stinking mess,  max his credit cards out, wipe out the bank account and                         look like shit when he gets home" Sheena stands up sarcastically.

             "This would show him what he will be missing instead and help him                                appreciate what he had all along. And, while you're at it, why don't you                          tell him you want you ribs back!"