“Your most recent remarks do not constitute recognition of women’s achievements, but rather a call for men to take action to ‘welcome’ women,” they wrote. “We do not await your welcome into the fraternity. We do not have to sing louder, jump higher, or be nicer to prove ourselves.” (Vanityfair.com)
The truth is, I had spent much time trying to bring the issue of Neil Portnow to light years earlier, but no one would respond or listen. I contacted his entire staff and every one that worked for NARAS letting them know how he was, who he was, and how he treated women. I was pleading with them for some sort of justice because he and others had made me suffer so intensely (read my experience living under the threats and thumb of criminal, David Lee Roth & others in another blog).
I worked my ass off year after year trying to make it in the music industry as most of my friends know. I recorded seven albums independently, ran my own record label, BDRQ (Billion Dollar Roqu Queen Records); worked for major labels in many departments for side monies, worked job after job to pay for the music productions, putting up with more misogynistic abuses, working way below what I was worth, and denying my own talents, intelligence, education, recording in major studios, all types of musicians, produced a slew of my own music videos with full casts, crew, costumes, and themes, and at one point I was living in my car, because I spent every dime on the music, working three jobs at a time. I mean, this was a day and night labor of love, a labor of passion, a labor of independence as a woman trying to make it big in the music industry. I worked on it ritually, every day, practicing, playing out at festivals or clubs, dealing with changing bands, changing musicians, new product, recording, promotions, rehearsals, and more.
I studied music. I played guitar & sang since I was three years old. I learned piano lessons given to me by my mother, who sacrificed her dime, even though we were left without a dad, and we barely had anything. I studied voice with many voice coaches and was on a six year opera scholarship six days a week with a private opera coach from Sicily. I studied dance, voice, choreography, acting, theatre, and much more in colleges, private performance academies, with private coaches ceaselessly and all the while pursuing my rights. This was not enough for mostly the men in the industry though nor did it matter at all. All that mattered much of the time was that I was willing to suck their dicks, literally.
Sometimes, some ignored me. I met with hostility, especially in the rock n roll world. Men would say things telling me I didn't have a right to enjoy success, freedom, freedom of expression, nor to enjoy economic independence and achievement. I heard threatening statements by males in the business. Journalists try to screw me, while others withheld truth. It was a non stop roller coaster of misogyny, yet it wasn't without the female oppressors who sided with the men and kept their jobs as long as they were silent and evil like the men were mostly.
I met up with some of the most extreme cases of misogyny and sexual harassment in the industry, label after label, and yes, Neil Portnow literally helped destroy years of my work and labors because he did not see me as a hard working human being, a musician, a vocalist, and creator and person with my own rights and economic goals; he saw me as an object for his sexual lust, a "nobody", "just a female, second to males", and only good for his bedroom aesthetics (his personal disrespected mistress or whore; his whim of quick lusts, of some sort) and passed off years of very hard works over the fact that I did not go home with him to perform sexual favors or act as anything other than his sex slave.
I met with Neil Portnow personally at a record label office prior to him becoming the NARAS President. He brushed off my talent, music, cd, music videos as if they meant nothing. The only thing he suggested was that I go home with him instead. Here I was $250k in debt for the music videos I had produced and needed more for editing, was living in a shithole on Sunset Blvd with no shower, no kitchen, and no savings; had no car at that time, no one taking care of me and not on welfare, and here was a powerful man with a lot of corporate monies and in a position where he could move mountains for women and all he could say to me was, "You can go home with me though".
Why the fucking hell would I have to become someone's record label hooker though or be thought of as one, treated as one, and have to deny my own conscience in the first place? Portnow continued to harass me for years to come writing me from UCLA, sending me jargon, denying my talents still and my long years of education, and my self determinism. You see, by men denying women the right to their own self determinism, they feel more powerful for some odd reason. Rape, economic depravity, molestation, criticism, lies, lack of real communication silences women while empowering men; thus, men can keep women in subservient slave-like positions in life, begging for a husband to care for their economic needs, begging for jobs that demean them and lower their quality of life, using them like hookers which humiliates and hurts our feelings, making them or compelling women to sell their bodies as prostitutes somehow or play mistresses even though it just doesn't feel right, even though we know we are not actually loved, we deny our own spiritual constitution of honesty and integrity when we play their games unwillingly.
It is our true selves we are seeking, our own feelings, our own dreams that we never pursued, our careers we gave up, the years wasted being abused, raped, mocked, berated, passed over, forced into Welfare, food stamps, below par jobs that do not uphold our own educations, passed over for promotions because we are female, all our work tossed and thrown into their fiery furnace of destruction as if it meant nothing as Hitler burned and tossed living bodies into the oven with their children in the Holocaust; forced into kitchens, on our knees cleaning all day, cleaning toilets; having our educations stripped because He needs you home to care for the child, so you can't continue school; watching many men born into privilege act as if they are above women, have more of a right than woman, can beat or harm women if they wear a badge or just because they are typically larger, have stronger arms, or are male; can deny women justice in court when and if they feel like it, can balk and make up lies on the snap of a finger to destroy a woman's livelihood, to destroy women's sense of self and sense of honesty; can inflict disability on women who cry about this and more and call them names habitually, then send them to mostly male psychiatrists who make a fortune feeding them unnecessary drugs to take care of the grief, the sadness, the PTSD, the anguish of having their lives stripped of humanity, their ideas pushed aside into human baking ovens; their inventions pushed to the back because a man's invention will make money; their pleas and cry for help or friendship tossed into the ocean and passed off as "just a woman's cry" or "it's all her fault"; her talents stuffed into his toilets like his feces without any regard for what they are and if it's not his property or his idea than it gets flushed straight down; being told they have to either be a teacher, maid, or a secretary because that is the only jobs open (unless they want to be prostitutes, although illegal, the men won't be arrested--only the women); watching monies handed out like water to the men while making it easier for men to earn profits and higher paychecks or obtain important jobs with some security all while living in despair as we are supposed to act as if it means nothing, behave like soft spoken unintelligent white gloved women, only concerned for how clean the house is, or what happens to the children daily; giving up entire careers so that men can enjoy what we worked for, even though many didn't work for it; etc . . . etc . . . etc . . .
I know there are very successful women though, and some ruthless too who became like some of the men; unthinking, heartless, cold, and quite cruel. The world can make anyone feel like they are living in a cold hell either way. But, do you have to become ruthless, cold, criminal (even in the guise of law abusing monies), to live in what the world still titles as "A Man's World"?
I don't know how many others are out there who endured what I did in the Music Biz, but I got slammed like this so many times, I stopped counting, and can't even recall every name that did this routinely. Some were more brash in their language, including Ahmet Ertegun: "How about your tits?" or a little more casual like the label with MCA at that time: "Let's go up to my hotel room". I mean here I paid for, worked for, rehearsed a band for a year and half writing and recording new songs and worked my soul out to do a showcase for the music industry and here was some guy who was some big shot who was going to brush all my work off but tell me that to even be considered for a contract or work that I had to go up to his hotel room to do suck his dirty fucking cock, whether I was interested or not. My mind wasn't on sex at all; I had to get to work, I had bills, debts, living in the poverty levels, had a band to feed, their families in need, and lots and lots of songs and music to get out. I had people's lives to move, to make a difference somehow.
Women sometimes sit in offices today, as they did in Neil Portnow's office silent, unable to have an opinion, to take action and oh, "IT WAS JUST ANOTHER WOMAN'S LIFE TRAMPLED ON" was the mindset. There were many people I contacted, and not a single one of them displayed any feelings, any outright empathy, compassion, communication, and not a single one took any action to stand by my side. They also compelled me to endure it all alone. Everyone who worked at NARAS including the higher ups, the ones who made more money from MUSICIANS (believe it or not) knew what I endured and it wasn't just a comment that Portnow made. It was his acts he didn't perform, his innate belief that women were to be oppressed habitually for all eternity and if he could, he would help "mankind" keep women as their slaves; whether for breeding, for the sexual needs, or for their economic empowerment.
There was one time I applied for MusicCares, the Grammy Foundation paid for my musicians and artists that help other musicians in need. I was in such dire distress financially, having had so much ruined by mostly males, even in different fields or side jobs of endeavor, and was ill. I endured a lot of violence as well throughout my life being a victim of gangster type rape, rapes, beatings, beatings by Roth, & enduring a lifelong issue because of Kiedis and his violence, hostility, jealousy, and mayhem. But, at the same time, they had made a fortune which I believe some goes into the MusicCares fund (uncertain) and also made a fortune for Warner Bros. another big bully asshole as far as music gender discrimination overall and they lean towards empowering only male bands and men; period. WB also did a number on me with much unfairness perpetuated then by Mo Ostin but that is another blog and story. WB must have raked in 1/2 billion dollars in profits from some of their bands or recording artists using me as the muse for intellectual materials. I am only going to name some. There was Ostin's hideous son, another misogynistic bastard, Michael Ostin who called me into the office to only humiliate and hurt my feelings, and deny me a career or any economic worth & power. MusicCares didn't even bother to help me out with a nickel at all. Yet Pornow stole monies from the charity that was supposed to help people suffering in the music industry.
I was going through two major surgeries for damages and had been driving to four hospitals with one hand because three hospitals had turned me down for surgery that was needed in the first week or I would lose my right main hand. Now I know through Dana Tomarken, who worked for Music Cares that Neil Portnow had taken the monies that were supposed to be used for people in need and used it somewhere else instead. Business as usual in the land of evil and by the rule that Pornow made up.
The truth is, I was a muse for a good number of music celebrities, that is I was in fact exploited for their wealth: David Lee Roth, Robert Plant, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and more who all knew me and had experiences somehow or another. The stories are long, hard, grueling with me on the losing end by power bullies without any conscience, without an ounce of real reasonableness, fairness, swift hard hoarders, bullies, mockers, and with Anthony Kiedis: outright violence, destruction, death threats and more exploitation for he jumped out of nowhere one day on my video set and started to destroy everything in his path and tried to destroy me, then tortured me so I ended up in the hospital.
To add to this punch, he released topless artwork of me on the cover of one of his albums, and at first released a song about breaking the girl (what he did to me through violence and treacherous acts), acting as if he cared (I suppose Kiedis has two people inside him) but he sent men to beat me by his orders and witnessed some to what they did to me. Racism, misogyny pervaded this entire issue and gave men the reason to destroy lives. I had brought the first Black people to Venice Beach with me for my filming and documentary footage and Whitey Kiedis and the White Venice Police Dept. hated it. Kiedis didn't know yet, that he was going to have to face the truth one day and I wasn't going to disappear into obscurity. One day, the truth would come out, but internet hadn't started yet and reaching people was not easy at all, even though it still isn't.
Unfortunately, Kiedis wouldn't cease at one album and wouldn't stop stalking me somewhat and hounding me. When the 9-11 attacks took place and there is much more that went on than I won't discuss here, because of the emotions involved, I went into special service for the country. My acumen became pretty intense & was able to protect millions of people without any violence whatsoever, because I'm very good at what I do or did. RHCP was busy distracting me and harassing me in typical Kiedis asshole style so I called Q Prime to tell them he has got to fuck off and I'm really busy. Kiedis then began to berate me for protecting Americans and our friends and calling me names, sadistically and cruelly mocking me for protecting people and doing my best to ensure no attacks took place as if Kiedis wanted wars, violence, people to die, and he thrived off the blood of innocents. I WANT HIM TO CEASE HARASSING ME AND TO FUCK OFF FOREVER. He had no right to exploit me for his profits either and I don't give him that right at all. I don't want fucking hear him, see him, or know any of his psycho ideas either. He has spent a lifetime giving heroin to little girls, then molesting and raping them, getting them addicted, spreading his fucking drug disease around like water, trampling and abusing girls and women, just the same in typical macho psycho mode.
He trampled around my documentary set and video set as if he owned public lands, ran rampage like a man with rabies, terrified all types of innocent people there and I DO NOT FORGET AND definitely do not forgive people like that who actually feel no remorse at all or Conscience. The sickest stuff here in America goes through the cracks especially if he is a White Man with money. You aint getting through my cracks though.
Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Peppers who berated and sadistically mocked me in some of the most terrible times in the country, the largest crisis in decades, during some of the most difficult times in my life while I save lives because he was jealous of that as well. He painted me topless without my consent on the cover of his album at this time with a Ray of Light going across my eyes. This idea came from unreleased music video footage at Venice Beach that was in the hands of the management company, Q Prime. I was dancing around a tree with my cast and by mistake part of my bathing suit top slipped half way off while dancing. Who the fuck gave him any permission to paint me nude? I've been a paid artist model and they gain my consent to paint me. Kiedis had no right to paint me, in particular, because he had already beat me and tortured me, caused me physcial damages, destroyed my video, my sense of safety, much of my livlihood. The honest truth is Kiedis is an Anti Semitic asshole is all.
I'm not going to begin to relay the names he used on me right this moment but a man like that who cares nothing about life, actually feels nothing for his fellow men, women, or children is a dangerous portion of society I can simply do without; a man who pretends he cares for profits, but when the bones show through you see the reality of a heartless aberrated soul who hasn't begun to grow a real conscience.
Kiedis, a fucking coward who never stood up for others, unless it was to babble chant his psychomanic shit only, never fucking protecting a human life, never cared about human beings unless they were paying him, who would never lift a finger for anyone out of kindness or to sacrifice his valuable drug time writhing in drug ecstacy for his own glorious highs. Sure, and a young girl really knows what she wants while very high on heroin right? WRONG! How much profits did he make off of me, the big leach, using me without regard for my life, rights, feelings, or my work? How much did Warner Brothers make siding with his misogyny and exploits?
Was I born just to suffer for man so he can feel like King of the Mountain or become King Kong or something? It's despicable that all these men in the music industry never once thought of my needs, my need for appropriate living conditions, my goals, my rights because men's overall thinking dicated I had to play hidden housewife, cleaning dishes and floors all day, empowering him so he could go count all his assets, be paraded around as a big shot, and so forth. This is the real beliefs found in so many men, that join together, even without talking so they can harm girls and women, take them down, humiliate and demean them, and so they can use us any way they can; whether it is outdated male written laws and an outdated legal system, a supremacist misogynist type of male police force, their fists, their words, their power by abusing their power, by humiliating and subjecting us to ceaseless ruthless sexual abuses and lack of defined and real communication; whereas, people talk together and have understandings and respect each other as human beings no matter what gender or preferences.
This means, if a man is actually honestly interested in an ethical moral relationship with a woman and honestly wants something with much more potential than a hurt scared girl in his bed that had to fuck him because he wanted it and she didn't, but the only way to hold onto a job or be considered for one was to do what he said; that he acts like a gentleman, that he is sensitive and honest, that he has respect, and honors her goals, longings, needs, and treats her the way he would treat a Goddess (if not his mother or sister, cause many males abuse their mothers, sisters, or spouses) or the way he would treat himself or would like to be treated if he were in fact a girl or woman and he met himself face to face; that, he would first honor her intellect, her inner self, her goals, and not in any way try to push her into the ground below him.
No, and I didn't give any come on to Neil Portnow what so ever. I dressed appropriately and decently. I didn't give him any clue that I was in the least way interested in anything personal and gave every communication that I wanted to do business, was seeking a recording contract, wanted to work and earn an honest decent living, and also relayed that I wasn't about to sell out on my own conscience and wasn't about to play his mistress or hooker. The man didn't feel a drop of humanity, critical or analytical skills, had a complete inability to listen or communicate in an effective way; was unintelligent overall without any actual education that would or could uphold humanity, womanity, or any sort of trustworthy integrous business venture; and I'm certain was a major cheat either, considering how he stole monies out of sick, desperate, struggling people's funds. That just wasn't me.
Back then, I believed in real love actually and believed you actually enjoyed personal relations with someone or sex because you actually liked them and were in love and had earned each others trust. When both people actually feel reciprocal love and attraction both know it; he didn't care what I felt, the selfish, bastard, ruthless aberrated fuck.
I mean, I really did want to find someone to marry back then and really wanted a big family too. I just felt if I could earn enough money I could have that family and have my own security in case some bad man did a number on me somehow. At that point I was dating a guy, a guitar player from a band called, "Jagged Edge". I didn't want to be trapped by a man's money, unable to talk, move, take action reliant on him if that someone was going to lose their integrity, run off, push me into the dirt, and so forth. WOMEN need their own economic security somehow, after all, breeding and giving birth, cleaning the house all day, and being an at home mom doesn't create real economic security.
What if a husband runs off with another woman, wants one half his age, decides to get drunk and feels empowered by his own economic status knowing his wife must stay home to care for the children and clean house just because he is bringing home the money? I didn't want to ever endure that at all. I need my own value and security and my need is just as valid as any man's needs or rights.
Getting back to Red Hot Fried badman Chili Men, in those days, Black people just didn't go that beach at all and I know this. In fact, years later, when I went there to lay on a towel to tan on the same beach, only one Black family came on the beach and they arranged their blanket, snacks, and towels right next to me out of thousands of beach goers. They knew my spirit and felt me even without talking. It's their beach too to enjoy and go boogie boarding in. Sitting in the sun awhile may be good for you, considering the sun gives you Vitamin D, which also by the way prevents cancer. The Sun is a natural Vitamin D, of course within reason. I get tanned very easily fast and typically don't burn red with the sun; but some people with different pigments have to be more careful and are more sensitive, so have to wear sunscreen or not stay out too long.
I just never thought the thought: Racism. I didn't have an idea of what that really was at all! I was raised with all types of people and didn't know there was a race war that was going on yet. I didn't even know yet that people only viewed life as Black or White! I really didn't. I liked people. They wanted to be in our video and documentaries and they were likable people, had talents and enthusiasm so we did it together. They were terrified when Kiedis attacked though and he just happened to attack me. I wasn't allowed, according to misogynistic rules to defend myself and had to stand there and let him punch, strangle, push me down, and rape me if he wanted without doing anything but being some soft sweet, soft spoken female. That was men's laws! Really!
I just liked people and we worked together; it wasn't you are Black and I am White at all. It was us all the while, having fun, doing things we like, enjoying our video and documentary, us respecting each other and creating together making something beautiful.
But, being a woman with a set made up all morning that Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Fucks may have made, made Kiedis jealous, put him in a rage as if ONLY HE WAS ALLOWED to be KING OF THE JUNGLE, the one to have fun, the one to have a cast and crew. I mean it was madness! I also never thought I needed security, another part of the entire dream: Get the most advanced security you can trust and NO THUGS allowed. By beating me & putting me in hospital with a serious injury, Kiedis continued to make some music about it, not telling people who I was and put himself on glory mountain. He destroyed my documentary & music video, and after he did this he came to me and tried to almost kill me, with a big mouth, calling me names in so much rage and hostility, I thought he was going to seriously harm me and I didn't even know who he was at that point.
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He wasn't famous at all obviously, I didn't recognize him, and as far as I could see he was a twisted, loud, hostile, violent, destructive dangerous man. It wasn't only til later, I realized that it was him and he became very famous after this. He made false allegations on me and because the White Police dept. were misogynyst and racist, I spent the night in prison. They didn't let me make any phone calls, kept me in the freezing cold without a blanket, while I shiver and shake from the cold, and had already beaten me brutally, whereas, I was supposed to go the ER for damages but they kept me locked up without medical treatment. Kiedis was pressing charges against me for his trespassing and vandalising my property, terrorizing my innocent kids and people with me, making death threats at me, and attacking me. Of course the charges couldn't stick, but just the same, I realized more as to how these types of people work and what they can do on different levels. I finally got to the ER and pretty much had a long recovery which I still haven't recovered from. Don't tell me how easy it is to sue or find a lawyer either, because I already have long experience with what you call lawyers: Most of them that I have met are just as criminal in ways than your everyday street criminal, Kiedis, or any other aberrated illogical fucker; they lack full analytical and reasoning skills, completely deny justice although commit themselves oft time to injustice, abuse power, lie and cheat clients, take advantage of the poor, trample all over victims like wild animals out for prey, will steal monies but won't do their job right and find a "legal loophole" to not do the job; oft time lack empathy and compassion or good listening skills, so never really heard you; and, or, charge a Lot of money, so one phone call they make for you will cost you at least $375.00. Now imagine what years of their work will cost. They will claim its an hour, when the phone call took a minute or two as well, so they typically cheat there too to get technical. Very rarely will you find a very advanced integrous legal team or lawyer who really does due diligence, actually does critical analysis to the extent to know the workings and innards of a case or its laws, and who don't try to fly by night the case by destroying it, so they can get some fast money out of a cheap settlement.
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We all know that law school professors are also men, and many still base their philosophy and moral intelligence on 19th Century law books, misogyny, and an imbalance of laws. Let me know when at least half the professors in America's law schools are advanced highly intelligent females please of different colors, religions, faiths, and very progressive legal moral ideas. I'll let you know when there is a solid fair chance for Americans.
I know Kiedis was a heroin addict, alcoholic, and junky; but that was no excuse for his rage, racism, jealousy, violence, and mayhem. He, by the way made a false report to White Venice Police dept. who had a lot of hostility in them to begin with and did what White Supremacists sometimes do: They sabotage the good people who are trying to do productive good things in life and try to deprive them their rights, make up lies, use police force if they can, use judges, monies, depravity, parades of hatred, threats, or whatever they can to oppress a people.
I've met heroin addicts that are completely peaceful people and wouldn't hurt a fly, so please DON'T BLAME THE DRUGS FOR the aberrations within a man that are already there empowered by a destructive misogyny, a lopsided harsh music world and business, and by male written laws that allow violence, rape, and destruction of women's careers and economic goals.
Debbie Davidsohn (Right), Roxanne, Chris W, and Jennifer in All Girl Band, Sun Goddess. This is just one of my girl bands. There were others, but I didn't always get photos or videos.
With this band we had a large turn out with the music industry. I created & designed costumes and we worked for a long time on new song material. We worked real hard on this. An A&R man came out from Columbia and stayed after our private label showcase and told me that I had to get rid of my female musicians and he wanted me to tailor my music more like Brian Adams. I guess he would suggest at some point an all male backup band as well. The girls in the band were furious at this although not my fault. The asshole at Columbia wanted me to change everything on a whim after we had worked over a year on new songs, new recordings, new show, costumes, and fed his fucking ass in our buffet. Simple as that. But, some of the girls got hostile as well and tried to physically beat me up out of anger, rage, and jealousy. I didn't agree with the A&R guy either, but jealousy is a tricky thing to contend with.
Then I found out Chris stole from me and was dishonest. It gave me a bad feeling cause I was working so much, paying for much of everything, and Roxanne was working next to me doing a lot of work too wearing different hats. Chris, even though she had more money than me decided to steal my credit card and charged it up some. She was funny cause she used to steal toilet paper from public bathrooms, then I was missing some jewelry, a sacred piece I had.
We all were living in scarcity but it got really bad when Roxanne got pretty hostile and violent. I can't work with people like that either way. The asshole A&R dirtbag at Columbia was just a stupid asshole either way telling me to get rid of my band just like that or not considering how hard they worked; but, their reactions was also out of line and not what I could endure. Violence is not the way I could live my life. Why would he suggest I act like a man though? I had tons of songs and music, all types of styles and genres, had studied classical, opera, did pop, rock, blues, and mixtures of R&B, etc... Why would he tell me that I had to write like a man? Goes to show, he didn't even open any corporate wallet and probably wouldn't have unless someone sucked his fucking ass dick either way so he can go to hell. I don't even remember his name. Why would I write him a coddly love song though, when I wasn't in love nor felt all coddly and mushy just the same?
The songs in this band were more intellectual and I sung about a Goddess, war, countries harming each other, appreciating and liking life while you are alive instead of fighting and hating; I wrote about genital mutilation, about a good man, and more in lyrics. We composed a combo rock opera, did pop sort of tunes, and we had another female keyboardist show up to do the special label showcase. It was hard enough to get record label execs to come out, let alone have to scratch everything in one minute because one silly A&R man doesn't respect nor appreciate women.
We had business managers come out and they were gun ho: "let's go" but the record labels were the hard ones to contend with (read my other blog about sexual subjugation at most major record labels and by famous moguls). I had Cher's business manager try to lure my business and others all nice people. Ha, it seems the one's handling all the monies are pretty respectful overall thus far and nice, but these record label moguls, owners, thugs, and A&R. Ouch! There were no profits to business manage though.
You'd think I was born in the 1900s but this went on in the late 20th Century for god's sake. The men weren't only trying to compel and force me to play prostitute but were at the same time compelling me to become a nun in my style and dress. Their vision was so shortsighted and brutal, I couldn't get the light of day with anyone in the music business. The reality was was that I was playing as a tiny child, had studied my entire life, and here these labels were signing male rec artists or bands and some only played for a few years and most never had a voice lesson in their life!
The men could walk into their offices and sit and talk strategy, money, drugs, women, or whatever they wanted; no problem. I had to jump through hoops of fire, over mountains, get beat up, brutally raped, and much more to have someone tell me that I had to write like a man and dress like the Virgin Mary (but even then you know they wouldn't have been easy with me). They always seemed to find a way to make life hard, ugly, terrifying, horrible, and despicable didn't they?
Private Performance for private guests including Red Foxx and many others with NO record labels invited. I sang pop/R&B for this show.
perpetrated against me and no IT WAS NO A FACE LIFT. I was working a number of low paying jobs and didn't have a car. One night a man gave me a lift to hell and I was raped & tortured by five people, his friends with a new born baby in the house. I managed to escape finally and city officials took the baby. I could never find out what became of the baby though. They raped me in front of the baby and did much violence. The baby was six months old. The public lawyer who was supposed to help me establish justice said to me when he met me and after police gathered up four of the criminals: "Oh I see this everyday" and he let the perpetrators go free back into society to commit more crimes. This male, representing our judicial system is just one symbol of the fierce, hateful, angry, despicable misogyny that women endure, many without even understanding or knowing why their lives are so difficult. The lawyer who worked for the city who told me this already had a hospital report with injuries and damages perpetrated by the criminals, but just the same brushed it all under his evil rug of misogyny.
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