Please Note: I need lawyers to pursue justice. There is just so much anyone can tolerate. Please contact us at any time for legal inquiries and to join me in my quest for financial recompense, justice, and my legal rights. Groovytimz@gmail.com . If you are a hater, please not that all hate email will be diligently reviewed by the FBI because of my long years of services and iconic involvement post 911.
As some of my acquaintances are well aware, I spent a lifetime under duress inside the entertainment industries, including most of all the music industry and also the film industry. My name is Debbie Davidsohn. Musically, my various bands were called, Yankee Rose, Sun Goddess, Deborah & the Starblazers, Red & Blue, and as a solo artist, Debbie Davidsohn. I had all female bands, mixed female / male bands, male band backers. I worked with transgender band members, gay band members, straight and married band members, thin, large, short, and tall. One of my band members had AIDS and we performed our last show together, in particular a song I wrote entitled: "Our Children of Tomorrow". I worked and created with White, Black, Hispanic, Chicano and Latina, Asian, and mixed ethnic members. I have written countless song material and have hundreds of original songs, in which I either wrote or wrote with someone else, or entire bands.
I produced seven albums and must have led 15 or so bands and groups. I have written and studied classical, rock, hard rock, blues, pop, r&b, pop jazz, new age, and other styles of creation. In between those albums, we wrote, recorded, and created many ideas or just jammed and invented. Not everything was filmed, photographed, or recorded.
The sexual abuses, rapes, and implied forced and seemingly endless male chauvinism and dominance was more than prevalent. The sexual harassment and forced situations happened in most areas, including modeling and print, was extremely severe in the music industry, and much mayhem took place in the film industry--but was not as bad for me. The humiliation and gender discrimination and its practices were worse than hideous. Women were no better in the music industry, for I suffered a form of torture perpetrated by Madonna and recently by Ariana Grande and her beast artist team who stalked me at my residence, then stole years of my artwork to make a music video for Ariana Grande without even offering me credit or a penny of pay. It was a horrifying and intolerable experience ongoing. Besides this, was the plain discrimination for the record label executives did not care much for my Asian musicians mostly, did not like women bands typically I was in a good number of them, and being a woman in the business meant (in male ideologies) that I was supposed to be a sex slave, expect pure humiliation and denigration, play sex slave, be an abuse and bullied victim, and not be able to reach my higher excellence nor gain the support of any team. Most treated me as their whore or wanted me to be one, instead of having any other abilities and talents, which I did have.
I started singing at 3 years old, was given a guitar at the same time by my father and started writing songs when I was 3. I sang and played guitar or sang without guitar. By ten years old I was playing piano by ear and writing my own songs. It was then my mother gave me piano lessons and my grandfather gave me a piano. In varied bands I also played some violin (Yankee Rose), harmonicas, bass, and all types of guitars, from twelve string, acoustic, to electric. I played and arranged on synthesizers and also played any type of piano.
I also loved films and played in drama productions and on stage from junior high school on. I studied with countless private schools, coaches, and also studied most of the dance arts. My first major ballet show was for thousands of Vietnam War Veterans and I wore my first tutu on stage. This is when I was nine years old.
I did print and ramp modeling during the process of trying to make it in entertainment. Much of the work was extremely low paying or with no pay at all. All those who hired me attempted rape or abused me.
I lived in despair, poverty, in anguish, hunger, on the bottom pole of society mostly being a woman who wanted to earn an honest living doing what I loved best: The arts.
Photo of Debbie Davidsohn - Art by Debbie Davidsohn - Fashion by Debbie Davidsohn
Listen to samples free at Reverbnation, Soundcloud, and MySpace.com
I had studied theatre, many years of voice training, dance choreography, such as jazz dance, ballet, tap, hip hop, and other styles including African, Beatnik jazz (studied historical dancing) and more. I studied on a six year voice private scholarship opera Bel Canto vocal training, studied piano since a child, guitar lessons, and had a two year dance scholarship at Moro Landis Dance Academy. I studied dancing at probably 15 dance schools, colleges, and studied with many private voice coaches. I studied acting in colleges, theatre in colleges, studied acting in private acting schools, taught private acting lessons, coached students in voice, taught and coached people in dance, but every door was closed time and time again by elite moguls, madmen, vicious misogynistic patronizing women who followed the ideologies of men in the business and could only keep their jobs by helping males perpetrate crimes, and no one would give me a single solitary chance to enjoy earning a living at what I wanted. None of this mattered at all to any executive I was called into meet with.
In the music industry, I had meetings with some of the most famous musical moguls in all music history who all called me into their offices after they received a demo and music video or more of my work. It was like a broken scratched record of repeated sexual abuses over and over again; the same bat cage but another station. The music industry's silent male consensus dictated the oppression and economic depravity of girls and women combining a dictated abuse charade perpetrated against their own spouses.
All my music meetings turned into nightmares. Everyone of these moguls and A&R people had ulterior motives and very bad intentions. They would mention my genitals or say something nasty and hideous to humiliate me and make me feel small or like some sort of concubine sex slave. I, in no way dressed nor presented myself in a sexual manner. I always wore covering clothing, nice up to date fashion, and a fashion designer friend dressed me in classy attire to have a meeting at Island Records, after being called up by their head of A&R, Lionel Conaway.
They did not call me in to do business as they did the male musicians and artists; they called me in to gain sexual favors and to humiliate me, because that sort of power and control made them feel like powerful men who had everything: Money, sex slaves, and control. The issue was I was not going to play the "game" nor sell myself as a prostitute. My voice and talents as an artist were good enough and I was always more than talented, professionally trained and educated, and could play and sing better than more than half the male artists on their labels technically, not that that typically mattered at all in the music world. Labels would hire male bands, and male singers who knew absolutely nothing about singing at all; but the labels were quite impressed by their harshness, abuses perpetrated against girls and women ritually, the drugging, drinking, fowl attitude, hatred and rebellion against kindness or ethics and I am hunching NONE had to get down on their knees between an A&R executives legs to gain economic contracts.
I have no modesty concerning my training and abilities in stating so either, but in the music industry it didn't typically seem to take talent to sell product. I am not referring to the "rap world" either, because I understand dimensions of the "hood" and the hardships involved; this is another dilemma and another world outside the rock and pop world. Sometimes it took just simply being male and having intelligent lyrics, or sexploitation lyrics that denigrated girls and women, or being a real rock bastard who would abuse all the girls and women until no end, which the male music industry seemed to always applaud and enjoyed; a sexual subversion club of men, harem addicts, who enjoyed power and control over the opposite sex.
It was either sexual abuses or theft, plagiarism, or conversion of my intellectual properties for their self interest and profits. I was robbed or exploited instead by some of the most famous pop stars who I sought to do business with, whether as opening act, to sell a song or two, to ask for a favor referring me for a record deal, and / or to help produce productions I was working on. I won't name these people yet, for I have more to tell.
I was invited to Island Records by Lionel Conaway, after sending in my music video footage and music I produced. I was really happy and glad to meet with him at his office, but he had other plans; instead of a record deal, I was supposed to date him and put on the knee pads instead. I had a meeting with Interscope Record's head A&R man, who I can't seem to recall his name, after I sent him my CD. One would think that such as meeting would mean real business. Instead, when I walked into his office, he spoke of my "tits". I noticed he was wearing a wedding band. When I did not respond to his dirty ludicrous sexual advances, he became furious and started to berate my music. I walked out crying, walking down the street as if I had just seen a dead reawakened beast from hell with only the same story to tell.
I met with so many people, including Ahmet Ertegun who called me into a meeting after he had received my CD. He had other plans and at first told me to perform for him. He had a piano and I did. I performed one of my personally written songs. Ertegun told me: "You have a nice voice". I said, "thank you". I thought we were getting ready to discuss a record deal and some sort of strategy to generate profits, after all, he called me, set up a meeting with me, told me he had listened to my sample CD, and was a powerful music industry icon who had a good sense for business and making profits. He looked me up and down and began to talk about me "being his mistress" and discussed my "private parts" instead. I was disgusted, to say the least. Ertegun retained an obscene crude type of demeanor and used offensive language when addressing me. I felt hurt, confused, and baffled. I felt afraid. He spoke to me as if I was supposed to be his sex slave, was there only as a sex slave, and was supposed to tolerate anything he thought and said. I just remember walking out and feeling as if I was in a bit of a daze, so hurt, filled with sorrow and tears I could not show. I felt alone and as if I would never find a way out of this repeated type of treatment, perpetrated by just about everyone I had known or met with in the music industry. I felt desolate and without any hope.
Here was a man almost four times my age, married, a grandfather; me, ready to succeed, maybe get married at some point, have a family, young, vibrant, sweet, and I literally had to become the head of Atlantic Record's part time sex slave to even be considered for any music career. I walked out of that meeting crying as well, desolate, alone, and in great despair having no one, living in a sub par office room with barely any monies. I felt sad for his wife as well and knew that he was ritually abusing her and taking her for granted. I could not involve myself with harming her either. It wasn't in my nature. I had been hurt in life at times and I could not hurt her, for the mere fact that she was another woman who had rights. Simply put: I wasn't a prostitute and believed in genuine "love"; real feelings, being emotionally true to self & others. Ertegun was about being a sadist, an emotional thief, about community aggressive tactics used to oppress girls and women; about keeping women as the "second sex"; second-class citizens, used and abused by husbands, being kept on emotional leashes over economic sustenance; he was about male chauvinism, power, and control all so he could feel like the Big Slavemaster: Profitable, rich, wealthy, with young sex slaves running to his beck and call being led on carrot sticks in hopes of a recording contract.
I did a show for Mechanic/ MCA records at that point, having had rehearsed a band, paid for rehearsals, spending time writing new material, and working day and night to fund the showcase. I rehearsed a band, paid for rehearsal space, wrote for a year and half to prepare for any showcase. I had to buy my band members equipment. I worked day and night and most often worked until 5am just to have enough money to fund this venture. The owner showed up, sat in the front row of my record label showcase, and we sat down afterward to discuss (I thought) any business deal. Instead of offering a contract or discussing business options, he told me to go up to his hotel room instead. I wasn't even thinking of having an affair with him and he did have a long time girlfriend as well. I never thought I had to sleep my way as a sex slave to gain a record deal.
(Century and was being deprived my rights. I broke some ground when I stripped off this 19th century costume on stage and got into a silver sequined outfit instead to align with modern times, which I also was filmed for a music video walking on Hollywood Blvd. I wore a sparkling silver sequined skirt, top, sparkly tights, and silver sequined shoes to match. One day maybe I'll get the video online, for I have so many 3/4" pro videos, 16mm film, 8mm films for various music videos that the costs are not good for me at this time. I was forced to hide all my years of work by mostly the men (and a few extremely hostile envious jealous women) and was mocked, berated, censored, then attacked sexually for being the music star I was. Of course being of Jewish descent didn't help, for Catholics can do what I was doing in my videos on world stages and the Grammy Awards today, but when I did it, I was either forced into having to become Mother Mary or most of the time, simply attacked sexually. Scotti Bros was the record label whose A&R guy was Tad Dowd, who at first told me I had a record deal, but when they saw me in a revealing silver sequin costume, complained and turned me down for the label deal, berated me, acted with hostility towards me, and ruined their own record label by doing so, that is, they probably lost many millions of dollars by becoming judgmental, cruel, and discriminatory (Cher was wearing extraordinary costumes for a long time, which were revealing and sexy, but when I did it, they censored me and hammered me with male hostility and harsh judgment. In the following few years, Madonna and others wore many of the same type of costumes I wore in my original music videos. In fact, Pink and more Divas performed in costumes that looked almost exactly as the ones I wore in various music videos; and, all together on the Grammies and people raved about them. With me, they hid me out near their assholes and treated me as if I was their toilet instead.)
I wasn't about to sell myself as MCA/Mechanic Record owner's sex slave and hooker and couldn't fathom even dating such a man who could cheat on his girlfriend for a night of fast fun to empower his need to become a powerful sex slaved mogul. I simply was not attracted to him and besides his attitude that I owed him sex for some reason was an extreme turn off. I owed him nothing and the way he treated me made him seem like one ugly wench, unappealing, undesirable, and definitely a pure idiot when it came to business. It's no wonder that MCA/Mechanic records is not around any longer and I can see why.
II
You see, since many of the other record label moguls were notorious for abusing spouses, creating a harem of sex slaves, and getting anything they wanted on a whim, while keeping their breeder spouses as unhappy slaves to their egos; all the smaller executives had to follow suit. This was the only way to behave or be, was the majority thought process and there was no option of being ethical, a good person, honest, decent, or respectful. Most people were or joined the business for the sex, drugs, and money; I wanted to work because I had always sung and wrote music since I was a tiny tot, needed and wanted to earn economic security and take care of those I loved, wanted to earn profits and not allow myself or those I loved to live in a poverty or a ghetto any longer, to pay my dentist, to establish my career and have something to look forward to every day. Also, I wanted to have children and lots of them, rescue abandoned children and use my profits to also enrich their lives. I wasn't in it for the drugs or the sex at all and was appalled and horrified at the Babylon of sadistic unconscionable ideologies industry executives upheld. It was everywhere, in every major US label office and there was only maybe 1% female employees at the labels that I ever heard of; yet, this excludes secretaries, because secretaries were always silent when it came to anything that went on inside the label rooms; they had no opinion and typically treated anyone like garbage on the telephone either way. Most hated their jobs, and were let go of pretty easy.
There were more labels who acted that way. Then there was Sony Records who also called me into a meeting to meet with A&R. What do you know? This time I bought a large sized male bodyguard volunteer, just in case the A&R executive felt tempted. This was in the year 2003. The A&R man, a Japanese employee, whom I can't seem to recall his name at this moment, became so furious that right away when he saw him (my large bodyguard), he started to yell about my music. I mean, why call me to drive hours away to the Sony office for music that was already in his possession and that apparently he had already listened to, to waste the company's time and efforts to tell someone you don't like their music? This was just another knee pad case and case, whereas, the A&R executive had ulterior motives that undermined any corporate goals, in which he could use a female of choice and turn her into his personal sex slave instead, whether she wanted him or not. To these types of males, it does not matter how the female feels; it's all about what he desires or lusts and she is supposed to cater to his every desire and whim. I suppose you already guessed how I walked out of that ritualistic repeat play.
Each label lost hundreds of millions of dollars by treating me as they did, or depriving me of genuine respect and that is possibly each year, year by year. Besides the infliction of a form of torture, deprivation of justice, causing pain, suffering, and the outright intentional infliction of emotional distress, economic injustice, and unnecessary trauma; the despicable mayhem perpetrated by males mostly within the music industry was barbaric, unbearable, more than humiliating, and completely unnecessary. But I suppose those with so much money, don't really need anymore than they have; they already have everything they want: Power, money, sex slaves, harems, humiliated workers or slaves, the power to oppress girls or women, or anyone they want; the power of mobility, fame and status, respect, and drooling lustful "other" males who wish to follow their paths; quite subservient wives who care for their breeded children, sons that can laud them and follow suit, and to never have to answer to anyone at all.
The music industry is renowned for this horror, this breach of justice; this criminal type of dominance and power over women, man's inhumanity towards girls and women, and dis ethics. Too bad it just so happens that it seems that most of today's #metoo movement stories revolve around the Hollywood film industry and doesn't typically include the horrors of the music industry.
How many labels could I go to? I think I went to every one of them repeatedly just hoping for one fair minded decent human being, but none appeared.
Then on top of that were the musicians themselves or other bands that could also help me step into a career path. At this point my band was creating and had recorded a mix of harder rock, rock n roll, pop n roll, and some really new styles of music. All the rock bands I went to and that was probably just about everyone, either exploited me or turned me down for an opening act. I asked outright and went to just about every rock band manager to gain employment and a chance to work. It was locked in solid at that point: NO WOMEN ALLOWED!
The rock and much of the pop industry was only made for men to succeed in; women were only alive to use and exploit for rock star song material, screwed and dumped after the hit song was over with, as groupies to do them favors, pay their expenses, go without knee pads being passed around between band members, fan their big selfish egos and bank accounts so they could feel like big powerful great men, hip slick and cool, so they could wave their golden calves all over the place, including over the poor women they used to launch their careers and parade themselves around is the big great sexual deviants many really are or were. The few powerful women I approached were not better actually. I am still very sad that Madonna treated me as such and felt that I was a threat to her token female spot within a male dominated industry. She hated me for simply being Jewish & blonde, my music for its sweetness, my Italian/English song because she thought she owned the Italian language, for my name; Sun Goddess, because as far as she was concerned there could only be one god: Her and any other female with any power outside of Catholicism meant a crusade, & a second member of society. She wouldn't offer the light of day, exploited me also for her wealth, adapted her music in more my style, wrote about me, used song innuendos that threatened my life, used me as her muse and then sat counting her hundreds of millions of profits watching me as I struggled in extreme poverty going through treacherous situations.
She tried it again in her typical style, without consideration, as an exploit, just taking without giving, a rape mentality, molesting without any type of courtesy a second time. I never knew what jealousy was until Madonna. I didn't even know it existed at those levels. She was so jealous of my spirit, my beingness, the fact I had goals, needed, wanted, had to earn monies as if she stepped right out of Hitler's 3rd Brigade & I was supposed to live in despair, poverty, in a ghetto. I had never known what trying to deprive another person or woman meant in my life until Madonna revealed this type of evil spirit. Of course she did not have to sign me and I understood this, but the way she exploited me, knowing I was living in economic despair & poverty using me as if I was a slave was despicable and horrible. She could have helped empower me; now that would be the precepts of Kabbalah since she thinks she was so into that. It was not a compliment to be used by Madonna for her wealth. It was more like being used for Evita Peron, Hitler's right arm for their wealth. I consider myself a victim of crime perpetrated by Madonna. It was harrowing contending with her. She then all of a sudden took a bit of the profits she made off of me and started a Kabbalah Center in Israel. The last thing I needed was a Peronian Kabbalah Center anywhere. She made a political move to make herself all tolerant, when in fact it was the exact opposite. She wanted to keep stealing from me to make herself great with a ruthless spirit of greed and narcissistic self lust like I've never seen in any artist in all history. Not a single recording artist in all the USA has ever exuded such a ruthless hateful spirit as Madonna. She was like Roth in many ways who was so evil and envious of my freedom, my friends, my videos, my shows, my bands, every attempt I made to work and earn my own living; the jealousy is a sickness, a disease of some sort.
I never knew this type of jealousy in my life. Every artist I ever heard or saw I always completely accepted without any jealousy as their right. I never questioned the rights of another woman to be as beautiful, strong, free, and independent as they could be! Never! My spirit would never allow me to feel any type of deprivational thoughts towards other women that may harm them. I wasn't out to steal Madonna's light; I was simply out to help her company grow through my light. The one woman with a record label decided that she was allowed to exploit me for her wealth but I wasn't allowed to make a penny off of it and that she would then exploit and model herself after me for years to come. An Example is the Madam X, which she took off of my website where I had an illustration of black headed woman who answers questions. My past work working for the CIA saving lives in a high minded manner for many years and the consistent air force x's above me wherever I went was something Madonna could also sink her greedy self into without ever so much as considering my rights, my feelings, and the past horror she had already caused me. Then she took the pirate statue I created way back in the 80s which is in my art portfolio publicly online missing the eye patch which I mentioned in social media posts and modeled herself after the pirate. Pirates: thieves, wretched horrible people typically in history who raped, took jewelry, women, and never took a bath.
But, I guess I should have known after she played Evita Peron and begged to play the part, the same woman who helped Nazi Germany thrive, who harbored 8 thousand most wanted Nazis escape to live lives in luxury inside Argentina; the same woman who murdered and tortured many of her own people in Argentina, the same people who disagreed with Hitler's 3rd Reich living in Argentina; the same woman who accepted a submarine filled with stolen monies taken from Holocaust victims; religious artifacts which she melted down, vaults of diamonds and stolen wedding bands, which she hid in Switzerland and in Spain, and melted down for her lusts for power and glory; stolen fashions, and more while she set up some of the most notorious monstrous men of all time in security and luxury inside Argentina: Dr. Mengele is a prime example of one person who Evita Peron lauded and helped. These Nazis are another part of other factual stories I will not relay here. The issue is: I didn't know about the hideous crimes perpetrated by the Perons until later.
There was of course, David Lee Roth who was obsessed with me since I was about 14 or 15 years old. He attempted rape at this early age & I was so terrified of him, seeing him in sadist's black leather, a very hard angry man, ranting around, hateful, controlling, and who pleasured himself on being sadistic to innocent children. I was told by many how he put leather straps on kids he lured in who trusted him and who were in awe of his "rock n roll" image, kids who were virgins--not prostitutes, who he was known to use to also spread the word of his band playing, cause spreading the word out to teenagers was the best way to rake in monies. The first time I ever saw him he was wearing black sadist leather outfit with his buttox hanging out and he looked like he hated everyone. He was terrifying to me. My young teen school girl friends were all lured in by him as well. They were 14 & 15 years old. At that time I was modeling, doing photo shoots with renowned photographers, writing music too, so he got my little girlfriends to lure me into his cage so he could rape me. He was furious that I wanted to make music because in his mind I was supposed to bend down between his legs and hide out as if I was nothing, and also have nothing of my own. Roth wrote some of his big hit records about me, based on my likeness, my music videos, my life and how he felt (for the moment about me). Then, of course he wrote about his temporary slave, named Susan for awhile, got his big hit out her, kept all the monies, then moved on back at me. It was horrific being used and exploited by Roth who was and is in fact a pedophile, rapist, violent felon, drug addict, alcoholic, and aberrated narcissist. I feel ashamed still being the subject of some of his love and hate songs and it's not something I am proud of whatsoever I feel disgusted and pray everyday that he let's go of me, is no longer obsessed with me, stops trying to control me, and STOPS THREATENING ME OR THOSE I LOVE. He is still attempting to control me as his puppet out of fear & jealousy. He tries to own people as objects--not love them and respect our freedom. To Roth, I am just a possession; all my needs have no meaning to him and are irrelevant. My rights don't exist to him. Most women's rights do not exist to him. To Roth, girls and women are "ass photos" something to use as objects--not as feeling human beings. We are things, much like his doormat, his chair, his plate, or his table. He is obsessed with me though and only because I fought back and have fought him all the way, whether through the courts through my restraining orders, through the social networks, through my blogs, through law enforcement (I have had to call law enforcement on him many a time and his paid criminals who worked for him who he paid to stalk me, follow me, call me at his commands, threaten me, or beat me physically.)
Roth has been obsessed with me for decades. He used every innuendo imaginable to control me, stop me from experiencing pleasure, freedom, and joy in my own life; stop me from making music, singing, having friends, and excelling in the entertainment industry. He went to great lengths and did things I never imagined anyone doing. He is such a sick despicable pervert, the facts I've heard from just some of his victims are disgusting and frightening. His daily or weekly situation: he attempts to scare me off through accusations from stating the truth and came up with many criminal innuendoes to silence me all so he could continue with raping, beating, and his lifelong pedophile and sex trafficking lusts. He has a very sick demented lust for young teenage virgins who he can terrify, use, exploit, rape, and bloody up. This is what makes him feel all powerful, in control; as long as he gets to rape & subject a child to tears, and goes against their will it makes him feel good, which is sociopathic. Also, making women fear, making them feel less than, making them broke, afraid, silent makes him feel like a man, in control, powerful, the big shot, filled with his narcissistic lust for control and power and he does this on a daily basis, a ritual of patriarchal horror and evil, quite renown in backwards societies. He would not be David Lee Roth unless he did something cruel to a female mostly. Men or boys are not excluded though. He raped a teenage boy I was told by a young female victim; whereas, he forced the teen boy to perform sex with him in the same bed where he picked up a young Black girl. What behooves me as to how or why any person would go so long with criminal justice, without answering to justice, for he never spent a day behind bars for his massive crimes committed all over the world. It is horrifying, embarrassing, terrifying, and so sadistic and cruel, I absolutely have a very hard time discussing it. I have to face the fact that I did endure this ritualistic misogynistic horror though.
He is a pathological liar, insanely jealous control freak. This is no simple statement either. His crimes went on for decades, untapped, brushed under the rug by the DOJ, entire police units, in societies that lauded male rockstar mayhem, crimes against girls and women, rape culture, pedophilia, and the male lust for power and control.
III
He was envious and seriously jealous that I wanted to be a star and was communicating with stars, other rock bands, and wanted my own pleasure. I was raised in an apartment where musical celebrities hung out sometimes, where music was played freely, and my sister was friends with some name musicians. She married a famous musician and I was backstage at an early age listening to bands rehearse. It was nothing new to me living in Hollywood to meet up with celebrities, know celebrities, or want to become one.
He went so far with this disgusting lawyer who supported pedophilia as well to use ritualistic cruel innuendoes that would condemn me for being in entertainment or having goals in music and film. He would put me on the defensive though, using criminal innuendoes, threats, lies, and violence because he needed me to be hush about his pedophile crimes being one of his many victims. He knew that celebrity would give me some access to a listening platform through the press, money for attorneys, and a feeling of some self confidence, having resources to pursue what is right in life, instead of sitting in silent terror, walking on glass, afraid what the big all mighty powerful Roth may do at any moment, cause he thinks I'm poor enough, weak enough, and afraid enough not to stand my ground or let him get away with his massive crimes that I know of, am witness to (some) or fell victim to. He is busy trying to put me on the defensive though, cause I refused to be his sex slave, fall for his false marriage proposal, and bow and bend as a yes woman to his sex trafficking crimes.
Roth easily did all kinds of court fraud and filed paperwork claiming that I was starstruck and had no right to be famous, earn my own economic wealth, or enjoy my life musically. He and has lawyer pounded me with insults, calls, name calling, lies, and terrible deeds that almost destroyed me entirely. The bastard knew how to strike the sweet lamb, the unsuspecting child, the innocent kind good-hearted woman with the most hateful, hostile, angry controlling despicable hardness; this was no different than what the Taliban does to girls and women in Afghanistan, or how Isil kidnaps and rapes women and children in Nigeria, or the multiple world-wise stoning and crimes against girls and women for simply wanting to be something in life, have their own money, study in schools, travel and know other types of cultures, and save their children from rape or dogmatic hostilities through divorce. Man inflicts much crime around the world and feels empowered to do so by his peers within societies. In other words, Roth tried to persecute me for needing, pursuing, and wanting my own success in entertainment and for communicating with other people. It was non stop with him. It was so horrifying and traumatic til this day I have still not healed.
He called me a murderer and slandered and defamed me calling me the same, absolutely lying to create a bad image of me so people wouldn't want to do business with me. He has the symptoms of Narcissistic personality disorder, a very serious condition. They ritually use lies, hurt people, corrupt innuendoes because they lack confidence and self respect. They never play fair and are completely untrustworthy. Never do a deal with a narcissist. They always find ways to be ungrateful, show ingratitude and it's all about appearances; there is nothing of essence, meaningful, real, or genuine. Everything is about how they look, whether they have to cover up the ugliness of the crimes they committed, or how they really think inside. Narcissists are controlling, manipulative, do not know how to love others, know nothing about genuine respect, civil rights, and use people left and right as slaves and objects to make themselves look good publicly.
Roth also called an innocent young woman a "murderer" for not responding to his sexual lusts & dominance, that is she was beautiful, and simply based on his attraction for her, and her disinterest in him, he titled her a "murderer". He did this to me making up fabrications, slandering me to anyone he could, hoping for sympathy, playing a false victim, that is a victim of a safe independent woman who had goals, joys, family in need, and the right to satisfaction, love, friendship, creation, industry, safety, and truth. David Lee Roth does not believe that women have those rights at all and should be subjected to brutal crimes, violence, robbery, slander, and defamation if they do attempt to live their lives in peace. He sat in awe though over a few very successful indy women but only with the aim of somehow harming them however way he could so he could subject them to subversion, humiliation, hurt, confusion, shock and awe. He always got off on shock and awe, that is do the horrible unexpected, whether it be rape, violence, false accusations, persecution, exploitation, hatred, or whatever else it took to make a woman feel small and broken. I was absolutely innocent of murder. I had never thought the thought in my life whatsoever; it was not part of my spirit or happiness. He inflicted so much psychological anguish and suffering, I was compelled to pray everyday for relief, for justice, for action. My longsuffering, losses, grief and horror would never cease. The thought of him puts me on an immediate offense and defense, that is I'm ready for more terror, more abuses, more accusations, persecution for simply being born with the rights of any man who has succeeded, enjoyed his life, career, family or who enjoys sex, spirit, and his privileged position in a society filled with patriarchal insanity, one upmanship, abuses, crimes, and subversion terror tactics.
I was so sweet, happy, filled with hope and promise in life, looking forward to something I could rely on to take care of myself, to earn a living, to experience my own voice, gifts, and talents with joy and happiness. I cry, cause he wouldn't allow me to live my life; it was like this slow dark murder, depriving me joy, happiness, and freedom used as his slave for his songs all the while, harassed every moment by him in all his various ways of domineering selfishness; constant bombardment of lyrics telling me to walk and talk like his robot, who I was, and changing and not admitting who I was, so other women could internalize the songs for themselves and he could deny that they were written about me, yet all the while controlling me with them, scripting my life so I could barely live my life, could barely earn any monies, live in terror, despair, loneliness terrified to love, terrified to have friends, terrified to experience my own autonomy or pursue anything until I reached success.
The only thing I've accomplished in my life is staying alive, survival still decades of ongoing trauma and abuses, emotional and psychological abuses; every moment being accused by him. Being put on the defense for everything while he rampage through every tidbit of my life, my boyfriends, finding out every location I visited, stalking me at every residence and all for what? How can anyone be happy living like that, stalking someone for 30 years like that and all for what? For control? That's not living! I've just thrown away more than 3 decades of my life living in terror, fear, trauma, poverty, despair with no justice in our court system, being unable to sue, kept as a hostage while he focus on me in my bed at night, during the day making accusations and allegations from telling people I was committed to an insane asylum to I murdered a man. I was never committed to any insane asylum and never murdered any man! He used me. He used me. It hurts so much, I pray one day, that somehow I can be free of him and what he has done to my life.
What hurts even more is just because of his title in "fame" all these people patronized him, people I thought would have a conscience and wouldn't want what he did to me or others happening to them or their children or daughters, kissed his fucking god damn ass. The same people who would lock someone up in prison for the same demented criminal shit he has done all his life in a second were indifferent and worshipped his fame. His fame for what? Doing crime and getting away with it? Hiding it so well? Being the big deceiver?
In Roth's diabolical mind, only he was allowed to enjoy stardom, wealth, freedom to create, and adoration but his obsession with my goals, my personal life, my affairs, and my daily activities was some of the cruelest years of my life. He abused his wealth, fame, and power by punishing me for wanting my own wealth and life. He punished me for feeling and enjoying my own body. He wouldn't let me thrive or live and almost every moment was a desperate moment of despair and terror having him breathe down my back, spying on me, ordering me around, following me, harshly judging every song, every music video, every job I worked at, controlling me as if I was not my own human being, or that I had no rights to life at all. He constantly threatened me with death threats, called me non-stop, ordered me to marry him, then, when I told him "no" he sought revenge and retaliation for not jumping like a dog at his momentary whims. He was like some sort of terrorizing madman, just for the mere fact I was talking to other rock stars and had known many (in fact, before some were even famous or signed to a deal, including the band Poison). He had people calling me and saying mean things to me. He hated my freedom, me playing with male musicians, being on stage, my music videos because in videos I usually liked being me. I felt good being me and he went completely insane for the fact I did so.
People may have a hard time believing this, for on the outside, Roth appears as a woman lover. He even hopped on a judge's bench in one of his videos and stuck his ass in a judge's face, rubbing his ass in a male judge's face without wearing anything on his ass, which is symbolic for controlling and using the justice system to provide him access to criminal mongering, so he continued his crimes against women and children ritually. His victims: All religions mostly, Black women, White Girls, Hispanic children and women, Catholics, Jews, or whoever he could get his rotten claws on. I was told by one of his victims, Pearla Carbahal, an Hispanic child victim of his who was raped by him at 14 years old as a virgin wearing braces on the toilet seat in the restroom at the Troubadour Club on Santa Monica Blvd., in Los Angeles that he "ruined her life", she "felt ashamed of what he did to her", "his breath smelled like whiskey", that, "she kept crying 'no, no, no'", that, "she was a virgin", and the she thought "he had raped" and harmed many others as well.
YES, THIS DOES FUCKING MATTER BY THE WAY.
Debbie Davidsohn's band, Yankee Rose
Debbie Davidsohn (left Upper), Linda Russo (right upper-rythm gtr), Mr. Keys (left - keyboards), Carlos Ibarra (left front), Susan Buck (Bass - front middle), Dean (drums - Left side in shorts)
Roth thought that I was his chattel, his property and only his ego, whims, or desires mattered; my own way of thinking or goals and desires did not matter at all, to sicko Rot. I felt as if I was an extension of Roth's ego: This means that no woman was allowed freedom, a sense of autonomy, satisfaction, and power, in Roth's mind. To Roth, the women in his life or of his focus and gaze or whoever he was after had to not have a will or mind of their own; they had to do whatever he wanted every second, walk on glass, and serve his monetary interests for the moment. To Roth, women don't have a right to be anything in life, except poor subservient sex slaves. They don't have a right to speak their minds, have political ideas, friends, other male friends, males they work with, and definitely cannot be sexual or sexy in the public revealing their legs or anything else. Rot's violent hostile censorship is only based on Jewish women though, or those he feels more power over because of religion. Other women, he encourages prostitution, has hired and not paid many prostitutes over the decades of his career, and lauds prostitution mentality; that is, cheap like non powerful girls or women who feel they have to sell themselves as sex toys, cheaply, online. He collects nude girls and women's images who feel they are worth nothing. He likes the idea of girls and women feeling this way, cause then he feels like he is worth something. He was so hypercritical with me and not to help me but because he hated me attracting attention and being honest; he hated me but at the same moment wanted me and to control me.
His Judaic related sense of empowerment over girls and women is prevalent. He used crimes to destroy me or at least my career and happiness. I wasn't allowed to know happiness in Roth's derilict thinking. He wanted to have me where he wanted me. I'm not in like with him nor in love with him though. How can anyone love a person like that? Out of terror? I have no respect for him. He belongs in prison learning how to grow a conscience and become a human being. Roth's type of criminal acts pertained to me solely, for some insane psycho reason, being the same religious background or Judaic ancestry meant that I would endure much worse oppression than all and any of his other lust interests. He would pay hookers, pick up hookers on streets, force girls or women into unwanted highly perverted sexual scenarios using his thug guard, "Big Ed"; go to strip clubs and bravo strippers, but when it came to me, all of a sudden any type of sexual enjoyment, enjoyment of my own being, my celebrity status, sexy costuming was a "crime" to him. He hired lawyers to claim that I looked sexy in my music video, but they worded it to make it sound as if being sexy or enjoying my own body, my own dance, my being was somehow a crime. They complained to a court of law. It was a heinous experience. I was supposed to feel ashamed for being me, for wanting to dance, for enjoying my own body, my own costumes, for being beautiful, for liking myself. He wanted me to hate me, to walk around in some type of shame; to cover my face, my head, to wear a cardboard box over my body as if I didn't exist.
He went completely mad into a psychotic aberrated condition and state of mind of a mania I cannot even put into words. The terror I endured because of him, the hatred I never knew, the arrogant Taliban-like one upmanship he inflicted on me telling me that I was not allowed to be a celebrity, was not allowed to excel in life or as a star, was not allowed to write songs or perform, was not allowed to date, was not allowed to have intimacy with other beings, was not allowed to perform on stage or enjoy life in freedom was so terrifying. He threatened me for living basically, feeling pleasure, creating, liking my own god given abilities, embracing myself. He did violence because he hated happiness, hated autonomy, hated independence, hated sexuality and beauty, hated feeling good, and hated life. I cried in terror and horror constantly and every day because of his patriarchal big shot position in the music industry political machine, ALL THE men and some of the low ethic females answered to his rule of law. His rule of law meant breaking every legal law in the books. He was out to murder me indirectly, starve me, deprive me of work, recourse, forced me into extreme poverty, into homelessness, into despair and grief day in and out. Everywhere I went, worked, or performed he would stalk me somehow.
Other women, generally, were barely allowed to exist to Roth and had and have no rights--in his way of thinking. Unless they acted like prostitutes somehow ready to fling themselves on a doormat for him as sex slaves or demeaned and denied themselves somehow, they had no rights. The only women he purportedly openly admired were historical women such as great Queens or leaders and only in history, deceased, gone, not around to judge or view his criminality. Yet, the public thought of him as the Don Juan of rock n roll; rock's bad "boy"; "madman Dave"; the man who lined up women, flirted like mad, liked women as pieces of meat and flesh, lined them up as harems in bikinis and who could never have a normal decent relationship based on trust and respect with anyone, because he never viewed females as equal persons with equal rights. He was a pure sadist, born into privilege, wealth, economic security on the higher side of society, never having to feel pangs of hunger, homelessness, injustice, deprivation of economy, and was never silenced as many women are or were or how I was silenced.
Making $$ millions off of using me was not enough for him. In his mind, this was all his right by some sort of psychotic law. It was not the right of any women to do the same though. His moral ground was in hell and still is. Still, many men side and coddle him as if he somehow keeps the idea of the war against girls and women alive, so we can continuously play slaves to male whims, power, political position, economic hoarding, and idea of unfairness; fairness for men and no justice for women.
I know the real David Lee Roth though and know what he was and is really about still: He is the American version of the Taliban, one of the lowest forms of a Jewish-Taliban and Jewish Nazi (according to the crimes he committed and his view on the female gender), tyrannical, a sexual pervert, addicted to his narcissism and selfish control over others; void of ethics, morality, and respect. Roth does not respect women; he sexually wants to conquer women though. He wants to hurt women. He's an angry hateful man without a genuine ounce of decent feelings about women generally, especially me; after I turned him down for marriage and hung the phone up on him numerous times. It's about Judaism as well, because I am from Jewish descent and so is Roth, so I'm different than most of the other women; he felt more empowered to control me, use me, exploit me, do felony crimes against me, commit violence & stalking against me, terrorize me in public restaurants, threaten my dates, control my output so I couldn't output, drive me to illness and even death; he felt empowered to threaten my family if I spoke about it, to feel sadistic pleasure if I didn't succeed, a feeling of power and dominance at being a man just because a woman failed in the music business or failed to make close friends, and have admiring trusting buddies and friends, or a real good love life of her own. This made Roth count as a human he felt.
Power and control: His aim. Using his money to purchase women as his concubines his other aim. All his career Roth had also raped children, subjected women to horrible perverse situations where they were raped and sadistically abused in unwanted sexually perverse situations. He enjoyed making girls and women mostly feel terrorized, afraid, and out of terror, subservient. He would use women as muses for his hit songs, then dump them as if they did nothing while they had to work all the while without pay supporting his song. This was a ritual. Not a single one walked out of the situation with any economic support or economic security.
This is somewhat same MO used by terrorist factions as well. Women have no rights, no right to security, to self determinism, enjoyment, or power. They can ritually be raped by the laws terrorists create, ritually be impregnated, possibly stoned to death, no right to sexual pleasure, many having their vaginas sliced off, no right to divorce, to work machines, and so on and on. The same can be provably a part of David Lee Roth's career and life though, but also allowed by society, that is, Western Society, in the US, in Europe, in Australia, and wherever else they claim as the "Free World" just because he is not a Muslim or because he earns the applause of consenting audiences: The ritualistic patriarchal misogynistic criminality is all the same; the murder and stoning just takes place in a different way. In my case, he almost starved me to death and caused me so much stress & terror, I was thrown off course. He caused me to be fired from a low paying secretary job too simply by calling them and making a false allegation. Because he was so huge at that time as a male in the music industry, whatever he said was law: Just like Saddam Hussein, Hitler, or any other tyrant. All of this insanity, tyranny happened and takes place in smaller circles inside the US and the free world; it builds and builds into larger circles, until the entire government goes by the same tyranny and believes it has the right to inflict control and mayhem over girls and women's lives.
The other issue is that many girls and women DO NOT know their own rights so allow this; some latch on to the male patriarchal criminal code and help them along: Will help them rape, will help them steal and deprive economic justice, will uphold these types of mostly male lunatics who persecute girls and women for attempting a career, autonomy, fame, or self sufficiency and so forth. I was raped by women and men in the same room who all took turns raping and attempting murder, bloodying me up, so I understand how some women work their lives.
IV
DECADES OF ABUSE, DECADES OF SONG HARASSMENT & STALKING, TRYING TO GAIN MENTAL CONTROL, AND PATHO JEALOUSY WENT ON WITH ROTH LIVING LIKE SOME SORT OF TYRANT BREATHING DOWN MY NECK, OBSESSED WITH ME, STALKING ME, STALKING ME THROUGH RADIO, IN PERSON, AT CLUBS, AT MY PLACES OF WORK, AT MY RESIDENCE, WITH HIS PSYCHOLOGICAL OBSESSION WITH ME, HIS ANGER, HATRED, HIS ONE UPMANSHIP, HIS LIES, HIS INABILITY TO ADMIT OR HUMBLE HIMSELF BEFORE THE TRUTH AS TO WHAT HE IS AND WHAT HE HAS DONE HAS CAUSED ME THE UTMOST IN SEVERE MENTAL ANGUISH
Til this day, Roth is obsessed with me mentally and emotionally. He always sought to control me and has caused me so much despair, frustration, terror, and grief, I have sought every means to free myself from his domineering intolerable control tactics. He did not want me to become famous & communicate with celebrities because he was simply jealous. He actually believed that this was his right. Celebrities came to our apartment since I was a child though. Before Roth, celebrities were in our house. I do not understand what he would lose if I enjoyed myself working with other talented creative people in the arts; because that is what most are. He came up with every type of crime or scenario he could to keep me from enjoying my freedom, my own abilities, and other people.
Scene from Debbie Davidsohn's music video, left unedited - Debbie Davidson (right side with green skirt & top) The music videos were halted due to violent crimes & damages perpetrated by Roth and Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers
He called me names to oppress and demean me. I would get phone calls with these horrible scary statements he had people make including his personal office manager, Steve. He made false allegations and false reports to try to lock me up, so I would not have access to my own livelihood, so I could not thrive, earn money, or excel. Then there was the violence and stalkings. He committed plenty of violence and for no reason--OTHER THAN HE COULD and felt empowered by a complacent DOJ and legal system that empowered male patriarchy using violence, terror threats, lies, criminal felonies to prompt himself up all while he committed countless serious crimes. He committed Fraud, faking false police reports, making felony false allegations so I'd be locked up for no reason and ONLY because he was jealous. He'd make up lies quite far fetched. He claimed and told people I was a murderess, that I had stolen his credit card, that I was committed to an insane asylum and he had committed me. I never saw his credit card, spent all my own earned money, worked at various jobs at that time, ALWAYS SPENT MY OWN MONIES, and was not committed to any "insane asylum". I did do a sting in alcohol detox hospital, with a 12 step program trying to recover from all the violence I endured, the terror I experienced, and the crimes & oppression I suffered under Roth's thumb. I spent 30 days in a 12 step program. I chose this though. It was not an "insane asylum" nor any such "psychiatric facility". It was a 12 step program. He shamed me for it, made people think and because they didn't know me that I was some sort of psychiatric patient, a taboo subject but the real psychiatric issues arose solely with Roth. His criminality, deceptions, and despicable narcissistic behaviors and violence is what cause my joys to dissolve and fears to creep in. I suffered an insurmountable time of pure terror, grief, sorrow because of Roth, decades of it and all I keep praying for is "freedom from him". God has not answered and neither has the justice system. I needed to sue him insurmountable times over but never had the money to pay lawyers. Lawyers are pretty dense also mostly when it comes to justice; they want money more than they want justice much of the time. With money, they will fight for criminals to uphold their crimes, because money speaks louder than justice. These are criminals as well though.
Roth cannot prove anything he claimed, yet people believed him. I never murdered anyone and that thought "murder" had never entered my mind or thinking in my entire life. He was attempting to force his own personality on me, the being he was, for it is possible that he was the one who had murdered in his life, yet tried to point the finger so no one would see his crimes.
All of this never happened though. Everytime he got to sadistically hurt or harm me whether through physical violence or court mayhem and crimes he committed, he felt this sadistic pleasure, this joy of having silenced me, of having harmed and hurt me, of having caused me terror, strife, and fear. He loved making me feel fear. He enjoyed my hurt. His mafia threatened my life and he enjoyed this. I thought I had a right to happiness and a sense of freedom in life but everyday was filled with terror, fear, tears, sorrow, greif, and suffering instead. This went on for many years.
Jealousy is a real SOB to contend with. His jealousy left unhindered was like an avalanche and I just happened to be there in the middle of his envy and jealousy avalanche unfortunately. He made up things on his whims, at the spare of the moment to suit his fabrications and grand tyranny, slandered me, defamed me, committed felonies all so he could control my life and all because he was envious and jealous. At the spare of a moment, he could make up an entire fabrication and falsehood, like it was part of his spirit. He never learned to act or speak with honesty, justice, nor truth, because his entire life he learned that lies, evils, violence, threats, and abusing women would obtain him fame and applause. This is also a society issue--not just an individual's issue. This is patriarchal criminality at its worse; a problem all around the world, whereas, most men, apparently criminal in their souls will not humble themselves enough to be good human beings, decent, smart, who act on self will run riot, especially filled with drugs, drink, and narcissism being handed fame on a silver platter with little attempt and lots of money to purchase more crime and criminals. It's a vicious cycle of evil that hopefully ends one day, even if it's someone finally taking a stand against these monsters, these living nightmares who ruin people's lives and livelihoods, who rob women, who steal their bodies for their lusts, who rape children and ruin their lives. Simply just lock him up for a good long time so he can think about all he has done to human beings please.
He did not have a thought of repercussions, ethics, the ability to weigh whether these lies and crimes were right or wrong, the outcomes because society had allowed his rampage and misogynistic crimes perpetrated against girls and women before he became famous. He had been doing these crimes all his life and they would escalate; each one he got off the hook on. No one cared. He slipped through the cracks with his thousands of misdemeanors, his countless felonies just because he is White, Wealthy, born into privilege, and because being a Male rock star always meant that rock stars were stars cause society enjoyed dreaming about being them getting away with countless thousands of crimes.
He went insane when I was working as an associate producer and actress for a stage play all about civil rights. He became a criminal. He went to great lengths almost murdering me out of rage, envy, & jealousy. The humiliating part of it is that I endured it for decades and couldn't find any legal body who would participate in justice; who also enjoyed sadistic pleasure by helping him, conjoining him, patronizing him, and even pushing his career further to uphold his cause of terror and evil. Men enjoyed the war and crimes committed against women, just as men stone women in other countries just because they can--not because it is right, criminalize a girl or woman because she is raped, murder her for being raped or for taking action to protecting herself, and the millions of girls and women forced to have their vaginas sliced off completely then sewed up to leave a small hole for urinating only; only men have a right to orgasm in many countries--women have no right to orgasm. This is an Islamic code of justice, what they call justice and law, but actually is a code of criminality instead.
Roth did not want me to have or own my own vagina, wanted me to behave as his puppet, an empty soul to do his bidding on his whims, wanted to use me as a scapegoat for all his crimes, wanted to use me so the legal system would never view his crimes openly with ethical consideration, such as his massive pedophile crimes, his rapes and violence perpetrated against women, his verbal animosity of women, his jokes about rape victims, his huge drug deals, druggedness, his open drunkenness, his club, The Zero Club, which was a Los Angeles after hours kiddy club, that would lure children to go dancing in rented locations that were illegal, charge them entrance fees, then feed them up with alcohol and drugs. He would sit like a big shot in the back room choosing a little girl he could rape and drug up for the night, then escape out the back door when or if the police finally caught onto the club. The club constantly moved and relocated, had no licenses and when nightclubs were supposed to close at 2 am normally, he would open his.
I made police reports and although police cared, they brushed it over because he was too wealthy to contend with. I filed restraining orders, but they only lasted for a short time. I couldn't stop his cd attacks on my privacy, my personal life, and my right to find love elsewhere, have a family, have a career. He started a huge ordeal when I moved in with a man and was going to have a family and get married. We had agreed in court, that there was to be no communications at this point and I thought it was over: He'd never stalk me again. But, woa & behold, the maniac wouldn't listen. He released this time the "Satan" album with an image of him as Satan on the cover about me all over again. He just couldn't handle that I was sleeping and making plans with someone else. He behaved as if he hated me in court though and wouldn't openly admit that he was obsessed with me, in mad lust for me at times, hated me for being independent and enjoying my self, and would never admit truth, say truth, be truthful, or fair in his verbiage or communications. I put him in my past and was engaged. I was living a new life, started to work, sober, clean, happy, part of a family and here comes Roth with the Satan album obsessively communicating with me, complaining about me, trying to hoard my time, trying to interfere with my rights to happiness allover again. It was a nightmare. He just wouldn't give freedom a chance to thrive. He was so obsessed and illogical; he wouldn't allow me to enjoy the privacy of my new love life.
That could never be called love at all in any sense; it was more of a need to tyrannize and control for if one actually loves someone, they will set them free. To love someone is to love their freedom, rights, their rights to experience, learn, grow, and be themselves, to be their best selves, to reach their own highest excellence, to be happy, secure, economically happy, healthy, and to take the best course of actions for their own lives. Love has no place without all this. His idea of love was hostaging someone, having a slave who felt fear or terror and was reliant on his whims or even money (which he was never generous with either way and hoarded just the same). Roth is no giver. He is a taker mostly. Small spurts of giving in small amounts just to prove and parade he gave something was not really giving. He takes from the poor and suffering mostly, those who cannot afford legal recourse.
The other scary issue is all these people think it was all nothing. They want us to "make up" to get along. That is impossible! I lost a child because of him, a child I wanted. Life turned upside down under Roth and in my relationship. It is so scary what he caused, his power and his control, his will and ability to destroy and I'm so ashamed that I would or could even call him a Jew, because no sensible Jews or Jew with a conscience would destroy for no reason or just because he was jealous and envious.
His influence and evil runs very deep: From his many years running an underground "kiddy club" luring in teenagers and kids in a club he opened at 2am open all night while stuffing them with alcohol and drugs while he snort & drink in the backroom. He would send his guard out named "Big Ed" a big huge thug bodyguard, who would simply pick out who Roth wanted to rape for the night for him. He had everyone else doing his dirty work for him. He'd snort & drink in the backrooms of the "Zero Club", a club that would move around quite often, because of the "heat" or police and so it couldn't be found. He'd simply rent a new spot, put word out on the street and before you know it, kids who thought they were going to dance, have fun, and have somewhere they belonged turned into a nightmare for many of them instead.
V
God forbid anyone should speak out either. I have spent my life under his tyrannizing crimes and threats all so he could keep me silent as well. It took years for me to simply discuss his pedophilia and only in the years of the #MeToo movement, because most of the judicial system and the political climate upheld crimes perpetrated against girls and women, yet still does in the year 2019. American history has dictated hate crimes perpetrated against girls and women. From the CIA's Mkultra Experiments which started in the 1950s, which tortured girls and women, subjected girls and women to sexual slave trades, used them for human unethical experiments, distributed all types of drugs to elementary schools and to youth all around the country to back hundreds of years when women weren't even thought of having brains and minds, had no right to legal recourse, the right to vote, the right to divorce, to take their own children into their own custody, to become politicians, to gain an higher education, and so much more. Male perpetrated criminality is a fact of life: Horrible, despicable, intolerable, and in no way legal nor can be hidden behind any guise of "law".
One day, I was out on a date with a male friend, we went to Rainbow Bar and Grille on Sunset Blvd. At this time I was working heavily on the stage production which we were ready to show. This was a Civil Rights production, whereas I was the Associate Producer, played a small acting role, helped with casting, PR, and wore any hat necessary to make the play a reality. We lived and stayed together working on the production day and night. It was for Black Civil Rights.
Debbie Davidsohn accepting awards for Civil Rights Play, "One My Valentine". Play won 22 awards overall from SCMC.
Debbie Davidsohn recording in studio for Indy CD - late 90s
I stayed calm and told Roth, "calm down" sweetly. He then went mad and assaulted me. He then brought over two huge mafia hit men thugs, Italian who also assaulted me and took me out on the side of the Rainbow where no one could see at all and they beat me. I was really hurt and was in shock. I was terrified. Here I was around midnight now, unable to go back in to tell my date what happened or find him, with $60.00 left in my bank account, no car, and no way to get back to the Producer's abode where I was staying while we were producing the stage event.
This was just a sample of Roth's jealousy, rage, and insanity.
I took my last $60.00 and hailed a taxi. Unfortunately, on the way home, the Taxi driver who hailed from somewhere in Pakistan or India pulled over on the side of freeway where it was dark under trees and attempted to rape me. I was already in shock and the double terror assault was almost too much to bear. I had to give him all my money, although he didn't earn it, just to get me out of there. By the time I reached the producer's abode, I was shaking so bad and still in shock.
On top of this, the next day I found out that Roth had made a felony false complaint, making a felony false report with the Sheriff dept. He claimed that I had assaulted him on that same night at the Rainbow where he was with his thugs and assaulted me. He knew I was working on a Black Civil Rights Production as well and he was psychotically jealous of one of the cast members I was living with as part of a team, a Black talent, rapper, and actor, Smooth G. He went insane as I played basketball with Smooth G, cause I thought of Smooth G as my little brother, felt protective of him, and they were all sort of like extended family. He thought no one would would come to bat for me in court, although there were many witnesses who saw that I never assaulted him and never did what he said I did; it was the other way around. He followed and stalked me at a restaurant I had frequented since I was 16, walked beyond 200 yards to get to me, shocked me by coming behind me, then assaulted me because he was jealous. I wasn't even interested in Slash at all to ad to the situation.
He made up all types of felony accusations making me out to be something I never even dreamed of or imagined. He told a judge in Beverly Hills, judge Reuben, that I had a gun and had threatened him with it. He started telling people that I had tried to kill him with a gun. I never even thought the thought, let alone actually threaten him. I was actually praying for him all the while & only had good intentions in my life. Threatening people was far beyond what I was even capable of in my everyday life. It was the other way around. He created this fallacy and then made up a story that I had a "hitman" or something of that nature, something he knew was not real at all. He took the cue from the studios I recorded my album at: "Hitman Studios" as in "music hits", "chart hits" and then twisted it to suit his misogynistic aims and tactics. He went around to industry members as well making up some of the most illogical delusions I couldn't fathom at all. At one point I was raided by about ten or so officers who held shotguns at my head. Apparently, Roth had made a fraudulent felony police report claiming that I owned a gun. They tore my little studio apart looking for a gun that I did not own or have. After they destroyed and ruined my creative space, they left. They tore everything upside down, inside, destroyed much of my music equipment and property, my music shelves torn down, my mattress thrown to the other side of the room, clothes all over pulled out. They destroyed the only place I had and my music recording equipment while they were at it, didn't find a gun or anything relating to a gun, then walked out without even so apologizing. They also held shotguns at my head as if I was a threat. I fainted.
Roth was the one with guns and who was committing crimes though and threatening me and his many victims. He made himself look good for all the while he was raping children, doing violence against women, raping women, and feeding drugs to underage kids. He also ran an underground illegal kiddy club that opened at 2am called The Zero Club, which lured in teens, some of which he used for his perverted devices, like rape and pedophilia crimes, druggings, drinking, and ritual sadistic torture.
I WAS ROTH'S "SLAVE". In his mind he could do any crime just about, lock me up with chains around my ankles and wrists, torture me, stalk me, slander and defame me, lie about me, perjure in court, commit felonies, fraud the sheriff or police dept., and use me for his immense wealth profiting millions upon millions of dollars off of exploiting me and using me as his slave. In his mind, there was no "right or wrong"; any wrong he created based on his desires or whims were all rights. While he lauded the legs, looks, or sexual appeal of certain females in his songs, he denied women's rights and the right to co exist in the music or entertainment marketplace. The women he did lust for for awhile or held their own power positions, he sought to exploit sexually. With me, in poverty though, he really got off on the sadistic cruelty he inflicted, felt completely empowered through "power and control" and felt he was higher than the mightiest because he could get away with committing moral wrongs and crimes.
His fans empowered him, his paid payrolled staff empowered him, his manager empowered him, the complicit label executives empowered him. Tell me what is the different in the basic premise than with Hitler's regime or any tyrannical regime? The basic ilogic and technical routing is the same: All wrong! Criminal! Evil! Ludicrous! Despicable! Hateful! Weak! Shameful! Living under the thumb of a "rock star tyrant and dictator" ruined much of my life and forced people to suffer unnecessarily because of this. This proved nothing at all but "Suffering" or he could make people suffer for his gains and psychotic whims when and if he pleased. What's so "rock star" about this? Nothing! He's not a rock star in my view, but a "criminal madman", a hateful, deceptive, shocking bastard, uneducated louse, a cunning, baffling, criminal born into great privilege, ahead of the game, into wealth, security, and patriarchal one upmanship, way beyond much of the rest of society and was never taught to experience human empathy most of the time; his entire charade was the exact opposite: No empathy at all for anyone and a big show of rock star tyranny and hatred for the female gender mostly. So many uneducated people think this romantic and complicit within the reality of my situation because being famous with a lot of money automatically entitled him to be as criminal as he could dream as a leader of a Satanic cult that hurt children and women, deprived justice, and subjected us to Satanic rituals of various sorts, whichever he felt like inflicting for the moment.
But, Roth somehow made it his aim to prevent me from making monies. He told people that I had a "hitman" and if I earned monies, that meant, that I would kill him. The Hitman as I explained, was "Hitman" studios meaning, "music hits" and I never had a "hitman" nor ever thought of hiring one. Roth made up delusions and lies he used to oppress me and keep me from earning money. The only other way I was involved with any sort of idea about that area was a film script I was helping to produce, a script about a mobster turned good that I brought over to the Acquisitions dept at Universal Studios and many studios trying to get the story produced. The story was about a bad guy who worked for the mob who was imprisoned and turned good, turned his life around, and ended up helping kids stay away from evil. The studios didn't want it, but Roth was offered to possibly play a tiny appearance in it. He used this as feed to twist and turn the truth into a schizophrenic-like reality he could create to ruin lives.
If I was capable of committing such crimes, he would have been dead by now. I had no intention at all in killing, although with all the crimes Roth has committed through the ages, I wouldn't be surprised if someone finally did something about the slew of rapes, pedophile crimes, ritualistic torture sessions, lies, and felony crimes either way. He used me as his meat for his ruthlessness is all and knew he was making up the story to get and obtain power and keep me oppressed.
Either way, I have and had a right to bear arms. Even if I did own a gun, what would be illegal about that. In my situation, I would have every right to own and carry a weapon, all things considered. Responsible people who are sane are good with weapons; it's the madmen, psychotics, tyrants that need their weapons stripped from them, and that includes David Lee Roth. He was reported shooting at his unarmed neighbor for no reason, other than he could in one Pasadena Police Report. His neighbor was in his own house at his own window and no real threat to Roth, but Roth took out his shotgun and started shooting at him. With each crime Roth got away with, this told him he could keep committing more crimes. What is it in Roth's imbecilic reasoning that makes it legal for him to carry around all types of weapons, own guns, and rampage on his whims but would make it illegal for me to simply defend myself though?
Since, he also got off the hook on shooting at his neighbor just because he could and not because he was in fear for his life; this also will help him escalate to worse crimes. You see, what is next on his agenda is outright murder. Roth is the type of person who will push you down the stairs & then claim that you fell; or, he would drug you up and then claim that you overdosed. He is such a liar and lives in such a delusional world, that he may actually believe his lies and fabrications. He delusions and has a huge history of very intense drug abuses. He could be absolutely insane, out of touch with reality. I have a hunch he knew exactly what he was fabricating and lying about all the time, but he was sadistically inclined to do so knowing the power and attentions it would help him gain: Keeping me and other in silence, not letting the cat out of the bag shall we say concerning his lifelong pedophilia and rapes, his underground "kiddy club", and his sadistic pleasure forcing extreme and perverse sexual situations on unknowing victims was one part of it; the other was just his pure lusts for power and control; an essential egotistical lust to stay on top of anyone he saw as threatening to his spot as the world's greatest pedophile and criminal in rock n roll. I do believe he is probably the worse out of all of them, according to any information.
The reality is, I was so innocent and naive, I never thought of anything concerning hurting anyone at all. I loved making music, loved having friends, loved creating, loved life: Hurting anyone was not in my line of thought or vision. I felt hurt, terrorized, sorrow unbearable, fear, and was confused as to the illogical fabrications and horrors I suffered but I had no "revenge" or idea about perpetrating violence in any way. I should have had but did not. I had no guards, so no one to protect me. I didn't roam around with gangs. I was simply trying to make it in music and/or film or both. That is pretty much all that was in my focus and life.
Now, Although I am furious and angered and this is healthy and good actually. I couldn't care less if he was punched out or his head blown off in reality. In fact, when I remember the decades of horror, anguish, deprivation, and suffering I endured, the beatings, attempted murder, the felony fraud crimes, the imprisonment, the lies, the years of waste living in terror, gloom, and tears, I really won't concern myself at all with his life at all. I don't even want to really know what goes on at all in his life. If someone finally gets smart protecting children, it may be a good thing he either gets shot or arrested when he tries to rape another child or woman. I'm not a criminal for thinking this either because all those victims, including myself do matter; it would be the other way around if anyone thought otherwise. Everyone who supported him in these endeavors are the real criminals: The complicit, the judges who overlooked his crimes, the police who couldn't care less, fans who helped empower him and knowingly allowed his crimes against women and children. There may be a father who finds Roth raping his child who finally does something normal instead of watch and say, "oh can I coddle you...it's ok because you are a rich rock star and raping my little girl is legal by society and if I punch or shoot you that is illegal, so I'll sit and watch you stuff my little girl full of drugs, rape her, tie her up, strangle her, get your rocks off and do nothing".
I hope someone punches the hell out of him and sets him straight. I hope even more so that society puts him in prison and locks him in a cell to ponder his lifetime of crimes, to view himself in the mirror somehow and take a good hard look at lives he ruined, terror he caused, and people he helped kill. He needs to stay in prison a good long time, and maybe get reformed somehow and learn how to feel something he never knew existed: Remorse! Learning what is right from wrong. Being accountable for all his crimes and learning how to tell the truth. Until that day in a crazed society that lauds this psychopath, I hope someone punches him out and if they shoot him, well there must be a real solid reason for it, cause I wouldn't be surprised knowing what and who he is exactly.
I won't do it, so don't mind me. I'm not about to throw my life away for him; he already destroyed decades of life I would have better lived not ever knowing him, my life, my joy, my talent and goals. But, I will tell you, I think he has something coming to him and really don't want to know about it at all. I'm not interested in the least what happens to him unless society finally comes to a reckoning and locks him up and takes action on behalf of all his victims, including me. When society locks him up and not for just an hour, then, I will probably want to know about it. Otherwise, please refrain from spreading news about his anything, playing any of his voice or songs in my vicinity to any place I visit, on my radio, and please, don't yack and talk to me about him when you couldn't give a damn about me or unless you do. I have had enough of that trauma as well. I am not interested who he raping, dating, his other sex crime victims unless they are going to law enforcement and lawyers; his recording or his business, his family, his sadistic sarcasm, his radio show, nor want to see his ugly face, nor know who he was out with last night. I am not interested what so ever! Really.
I went through the false allegations a number of times and it was extremely traumatizing. Here I was this innocent happy sweet woman, loaded with song, talent, music, dance, and dreams and here was a lunatic felon, a perverse rapist/pedophile thinking that he owned me. The sadness I feel, even today over these traumatic memories is unspeakable.
A version of Yankee Rose, the band. We recorded Indy LP, played and then Roth became jealous & did criminal conduct causing extreme duress, obstruction of justice, trauma, and he caused physical & emotional injuries. We had been very busy rehearsing & recording at this time. Debbie (Center Front)
VI
There is a huge difference between the truth and a lie. What he was doing and what I witnessed is the truth, unfortunately.
The worst part was I could not afford an attorney to sue him and pursue justice. I didn't even know I had any real rights at all. I innately knew that law enforcement and the current system would do nothing to protect me or pursue justice on my behalf as well. The system was so anti female, and the war on women was so full in focus, that I was pretty much on my own. I had already experienced the criminality of a male led justice system throughout my entire life so knew that doing anything about it, was useless. They would side with the perpetrator or simply let him slip through the legal cracks cause they liked the idea of women suffering, women's suffrage, women being subservient and left in slave positions, unpaid or paid less, treated like sex slaves, laundry women, maids, and servants for little or no pay, or as breeders breeding more males for their patriarchy party. I was squelched in so much oppression and terror, I could barely tell society what the reality was, for this took place prior to the internet, journalists and entertainment industry who typically and ritually lauded male talent or only listened and read male press releases.
I had to wait it out in a jail cell as well after the false reports to see the judge. He made me wait for weeks. The cell was dark, depressing, and I got jaundice there. It was horrifying to sit in jail on felony false allegations. It was a dark dirty jail cell. I could hear a girl screaming down the hall. I was kept in there all day and night. I couldn't eat, was disheartened by all Roth's crimes and lies, and so terrified of his power and angry too. A medical staff and gave me sleeping pills so I spent much of the time sleeping cause there was nothing to do in there all day and night basically. There were no books, no television, no light mostly, and the hall harsh lights only were kept on. This was what they call trying to drive someone to their death indirectly a form of punishment for being a woman in America attempting her own career using her creative and education talents and being a Jewish minority, for most Jewish women you can't find in any power positions, in the music industry at all at this time, although they were signing up some Black females. All of this suffering because I was sweet, kind, nice to everyone, trusting, innocent, pursuing my own economic security, my own career, expressing my own creativity and talents, learning, educating myself, pursuing my dream, and for helping Roth get off of hard drugs and praying for his recovery the entire while. Doing or being good or kind was a crime in Roth's book.
IN THE FACE OF TEN THOUSAND JUDGES, ANY GOD OF YOUR CHOICE, ALL OF THIS AND MORE MATTERS & IS VALID, REAL, HONEST, AND TRUTHFUL!! No God in the Universe would or could support such crimes against women and children in the name of male dominance, power, and greed! You can write it or claim it is written by any prophet, male god, or the biggest name in the Universe and would be a liar to back it as so because no male god wrote that you can abuse girls and women; ONLY MALES WROTE THOSE RELIGIONS OR LAWS.
Roth came up with more. He took portions of years of fan mail, edited pages so they wouldn't make sense, some in which came from various fans or people who sought to communicate with him through the written word, stuck them all together, then claimed I wrote them all to him. I did try to write to him in the past though to try and make some sort of peace with him, but he saved those and took out pertinent paragraphs, clipped others together with other fan's writings, and made a big bogus claim telling the judge that I had stalked him. The truth was, he was driving around my abode almost all the time, had released songs written directly about me describing my music video scenes and my life and was harassing me non stop daily bombarding me with horrible songs all for his ego & profits, had followed me at various jobs looking for me, called me ceaselessly at my studio office or had his hirees call for him, and was stalking me at regular places that he knew I went to regularly. Roth had stalked me as a child! He had been after me since I was merely 15 years old. I was taking photographs for Cream's photographer, Brad Elterman at that time as a teen model and musician before Roth even became famous or got signed to his first label.
What he didn't show the judge was the original script I had written which described a music video film, whereas, I turned into the Statue of Liberty but had tears in my eyes. It was an entire story, which inspired him to write a song about me called, Yankee Rose. He wouldn't admit he was exploiting me and took a scene I did in one of my own music videos; whereas, I was waking in a silver sequinned outfit up Hollywood Blvd. sparkling, walking, shining, when I found a flyer on a post by Gazzarri's for a singing contest. Bill Gazzarri was the first club owner who really treated me nicely, by the way. He was personable, unlike most others, treated me as a human being, with respect while NEVER sexually demeaning me or expecting me to play sex slave. He genuinely loved my songs and talent, my music and asked me personally to perform at his club, Gazzarri's. This was Sunset Blvd's most famous rock n roll club where almost every iconic rock band had performed somewhere in their early careers. He was now asking a female rock musician and vocalist to perform though.
Roth didn't show the twelve music videos filled with fun, dancers, and excitement that he had and viewed, nor the letters asking him to give up drugs and alcohol. He treated my communications as a crime, because I was expressive and told the truth. He didn't like being directed to do what was right. He didn't want anyone to tell him anything unless it meant helping him rape more children, rape and abuse more women, pick up more hookers, do more drugs, snort more cocaine, drink more whiskey, get more gophers to fetch his drugs, drug up more kids at the Zero Club, and count more profits for being who he was. Anything else, a person in need, a victim asking for help, or anyone else did not matter. He didn't show the Holy book I gave him to try & help him overcome his addiction to cocaine and his insane behavior, which he later claimed to have thrown in the garbage. He was so into cocaine, heroin drugs, and drinking that I resorted to a prayer book my uncle gave me, although I'd like to have that back in my possession. I was hoping that just once instead of waking up to snort and act like a bastard or big shot, he would read a paragraph of prayer about a higher power. I doubt he ever could humble himself to anyone or anything of a higher power though. No one one knew more than he did in his mind or had better answers or positive ideas about life. His life was perfect in his mind; he had everything he ever wanted: Women, male sex slaves, children who would keep silent when he raped them, the ability to not be apprehended if he committed a crime, lawyers to lie and commit crimes for him, mafia to threaten anyone who would or could speak out, money to spent on whatever he desired til no end, applaus and excitement, any food of his choice, a harem of anything he desired, all the show time and stage fun he could dream of. He didn't have to dream cause his dreams all came true. Dreams were only for those who could never make them come true.
In court, I asked for my properties returned, such as jewelry, photos of myself and my dad (who was deceased), antiques, and costumes. He lied and told the judge he didn't have anything and pretended he never did. Instead, he told the judge that I sent him a "knife", which I never did. He was the one who carried around knives and swords and did sword shows all the time though. I never even thought of sending him a weapon. Why would I? He had all the weapons he desired at any time. The thing I had sent him was a Torah and this was only after much abuse and insanity, drug taking, and ceaseless drinking. He should have sent it back to me if he didn't like the idea of any sort of book. I made him a suitcase of custom costumes as well, beautiful custom styled shoes, leopard pants, hats, all worth about $1 million of my time, fabrics, materials and showed him these as samples. He kept everything without paying for anything, thus stole from me. He was so vain and narcissistic he didn't for one think of my well being or the cost of making costumes. As far as he was concerned, anything made was supposed to come free of charge and was his to use or trash as he wanted.
He never once thought if I was going to have dinner, if I could afford to have breakfast, if I had enough for rent or a home, if I had transportation, or a career of my own. The way he thought, was it was all about him only--no one else. Everyone was his servant to escalate his fame, his wealth, his narcissism and ego only and were only sideline servants, even Eddie Van Halen and the band. In Roth's view, they were the side men only there to empower his greatness and his lust for sadistic pleasures, pedophilia, and abuse of the female gender. He never even liked his own band members nor cared about any of them; he actually hated them and the idea of having any sort of normalcy in relationships or being kind to a spouse, being kind to anyone really, raising children, or caring about anyone. But, since they were willing to empower him, they had to play a part in his Satanic cult.
He kept them, wore something on stage, but in his court complaint never admitted to taking all of these properties for himself. He was never honest at all. I wasn't very materialistic at that time, and just simply expected he would keep or trash everything I created and that was just part of life for me. He should have sent everything back or offered money for my work and time though or contacted me about the price. He was busy making money off of me though at the same time using me which he felt was his right. IT WAS NOT HIS RIGHT by MY RULE though; he should have paid me for this too. I stomp him out, although I wish I would have stomped him out then. I was just so giving, kind, and generous though a completely sweet giving spirit. I never hurt a fly. I never even swatted one.
I couldn't compel Roth to become reasonable, decent, ethical, or humane and there was no use trying at all. Unfortunately, I did care about his life, so I'll admit that. I saw he was on a downward spiral to death with all his drugs and drinking and worked really hard on that. I shouldn't have though. I only hurt myself in all ways by caring at all. I cared though without police and committing him to a mental institution though. It was Susan who finally called the police on him in New York though. He was doing all types of drugs and feeding her drugs. After extreme abuse though, he went to go do a drug deal in the park. Susan had already let the police know about it. I do not like myself for allowing myself to be so abused though, even after all the crimes he committed against me, I still cared about his life. He was doing drug deals with Mafia cocaine mobs, sending gophers out to fetch his drugs and he didn't really understand how dangerous these mobsters were. They were killing people too.
He was the tyrant like Hussein, Hitler, or any megalomaniac madman no matter what you did. You didn't have a right to even attempt to compel reasonableness in his thinking. He could stalk me, beat me in public places, take me to side of restaurants, follow me at my jobs, call me ceaselessly, circle my residence all he wanted, make death threats, threats, lies, fabrications, and earn countless millions of dollars exploiting me in intellectual property and as far as he was concerned I had no rights at all. But, all these people thought it was cool and ok just because he had fame status and bankrolled. If they saw this in politics though, they'd raise hell, but if a rock star did the same acts, that was fine.
I used to go to the Cat N Fiddle after work to eat dinner just about every day. Roth got gist and one night, he came behind me and knocked me to the floor while I was sitting on the stool. He found out through the grapevine that was my regular place to go to after work. So he stalked me there on purpose. He intended to bully me around and terrorize me into silence about his pedophilia. I didn't even know he was there until I saw him knock me down on purpose. He came besides me and all of a sudden, boom. He was adamant and so unashamed of his violence, he did this and didn't even care if anyone saw it. He was so used to abusing people that he actually believed that no one would care, cause he was a famous rock star. They didn't! No one came to my aid or stood up as a decent human being. I was in shock again. I got ready to leave, but his drummer, (Another Fucking Asshole Bastard Criminal) Bissonnette was with him. Bissonnette made a fortune with Roth humiliating and using me in the latest album. He was now an official member of the "Roth Army" of abuses. He did not think for a second what was wrong or right, about assaults against girls or women, and they both perpetrated serious crime against me that evening.
Although he was also making a trove off money off of exploiting me, he didn't think twice about me as a human, as a human with rights either. It was late, night, and no one really walking on the street that I could see. They threw me out on the late night street alone so they could perpetrate more abuses. I was really scared, had no weapon, didn't really know how to defend myself actually, and was not in fight mode, that is, was so sweet, gentle, and kind, that the idea of trained martial arts fighting didn't even cross my mind. I was just a gentle soul is all. I wasn't into harming anyone, hurting anyone's body, seeking revenge, and did not understand yet, that all of this was just a simple part of oppressing women overall, generally, and my case personally as a symbol of a World Patriarchy.
They both followed me and ripped open my dress and ripped it off me, bullied me, threatened me, and I did feel very alone. The dress was a rare one of kind dress though, that I really cherished. I mean, I couldn't just simply go to any store and re purchase it. I didn't have much clothes so It was really important to me, cause I barely earned any monies at all. Everything I had, went on renting my one studio room in the Sunset office space and the rest went into recording music. I was an extremely low paid worker. I lived off of only 1 sandwich a day actually cause of lack of funds. I didn't eat 3 meals a day, didn't buy fashions, didn't have a car, and no savings. That's all I had.
I could never fix my dress because it was so damaged. I had to give up my dress as well. I didn't even know I had legal rights either, which I didn't because knowingly I already understood the police would brush his crimes all under the rug and he would fall through the cracks being male and wealthy. They never did anything much for any female and even if they did, by the time any case claim filed by a female vic got to the court, somehow a court imbecile would then put it into the flames of hell because girls and women basically had less rights then men, and this still applies in the US plus everywhere else. I felt because Roth was so terrorizing and wealthy, that he could probably buy his way out of anything, including police custody. I knew this, cause he had bought off the police when he ran his kiddy club. I found out some of the police did go there, but with Roth's wealth, he could simply just pay them cash and they would allow his club to go untouched. That was Hollywood & it's patriarchal everything then.
The way I found out, is I met all types of people while I lived in Hollywood and met up with his victims. One girl complained to me how he tried to make her marry him; she was only 15. She told me that she went to the Zero Club with her friend. One night I went. They had us lined up up the stairwell and everyone had to pay $3 dollars to get in. They had a makeshift booze bar (not professional) and then I found in the backroom, Roth was snorting cocaine and drinking whiskey. He was getting ready for his next rape sessions, when the police barged in. They lined us all up. Roth escaped out the back door, and then they let us go. They never apprehended him, nor seemed to care much at all. The club simply moved again in ritual fashion.
I continued to get complaints and cries from various female victims of his. They all seemed afraid. They complained about "Big Ed" who was a huge gorilla type of thug guard David was renowned for hauling around with him. "Big Ed" was used as Roth's fetch guard, that is, Roth would tell "Big Ed", "go get me her" and "Big Ed" would then go fetch a girl or a brand new Roth vic and taken back to Roth. Sometimes, "Big Ed" would tell the girl, "Oh David Lee Roth saw you and wants to use you in a movie, or wants to meet you" and the girl had no idea she was about to be drugged up, victimized, or raped. It may be possible also, that some women did not refute or say no either or thought they had a chance at becoming David Lee Roth's girlfriend. One young woman told me, that she could not say "no" because Roth forced her into the situation using "Big Ed" who stood at the door as Roth forced her to have sex with him and some teenage boy he picked up on the street. She told me she was forced to participate, although didn't want it at all. She had fear in her eyes still as if Roth would swoop down and kill her if she made any public complaints or called the police. "Big Ed" reiterated this threat, because "Big Ed" felt empowered by Roth to do anything necessary to uphold Roth's criminal activity, whether drug buying, rape, pedophilia, drugging girls and women, or stealing people's property. "Big Ed" beat me up one day at a large public legal club in Hollywood. He never thought twice about anything right. "Big Ed" felt empowered by Roth and Roth allowed Big Ed to terrorize anyone for him. The club was the "Palace" and there were thousands of people there.
When I finally did walk into court and the judge looked me deep in the eyes for awhile and then at Roth's two Italian Mafia large hit men he brought into the court. Roth had paid them to help him uphold his felony false claims. They were threatening my life as well. The judge looked at them, at me and said, "This girl didn't or wouldn't hurt a fly". The judge read me like a book as he looked into my soul. Although he did patronize Roth because of his wealth and even invited him to his back chamber as if he was some great something just for being a rock star. What the judge should have done was to arrest Roth and his two Mafia members for walking into that court house to conduct their crimes in the first place. The judge knew Roth had hired two thug Mafiosos, he intuitively knew just by looking at them, that, & there were many witnesses that night, including Slash who witnessed what went down inside the club. Roth was living with some sort of delusion that he could do and say anything and no witness would come to state anything against him. The rock magazines reported that Roth had schizophrenia as well about the same time.
Debbie Davidsohn
The Judge lauded Roth because of his fame and the fact that he was male, doing crimes against girls and women. The judge, also a misogynist and imbecile would not allow the felony false allegations, but at the same time also kept me in jail to wait it out all that time, forced torture upon me, cause me illness, allowed countless Roth lies and felony false filings, and at the same time, I witnessed his pleasure at servicing and befriending fame and fortune. We all witnessed Roth walk back into the judges chambers, and we are still uncertain if Roth and the Judge ever got it on back there, knowing that Roth was also ritually into sex with judges through his video ass rubbing scenes. Roth's music video showed Roth sticking his bare ass in a judge on the benches face and I suppose the judge or many judges enjoyed this. He could get away with any crime as long as he provided sexual pleasure for them.
The judge allowed the two violent mafia thugs to walk, absolutely knowing they were Mafia as well. Go to hell, Judge Reuben you big old pompous, criminal fart.
It was a living nightmare for I knew that Roth was threatening my life and the other girls who he either beat, raped, or did something illegal to. He would hire mafia and had the money to do that. Since a judge did not reform him, he could threaten my life and continue his harassment of me. His two mafia thugs were threatening my life ongoing.
I finally pursued my own justice by filing my own varied restraining orders against Roth. I demanded that he stop obsessing on me and writing songs about me. He had already pursued a number of albums chanting and disturbing my peace or sense of serenity. I needed him to move on and let go. He wouldn't though. I had him served at the House of Blues one night where was to sing more songs about me. After all those crimes perpetrated against me, he had a nerve to continuously exploit me and make more money from me. I also knew they were for me, because a member of his band who befriended me told me that Roth was at parties telling everyone who his album was about.
But, he would not obey my requests to stop obsessing. It was a nightmare. Every move or thought in my life was supposedly his, like his zombie harem member, as if I had no right to privacy, my self determinism, my own goals, or my own economic security. He ruined much of my life, kept me in poverty, and many industry people aligned with him simply based on his already fame and his wealth. He made many millions of dollars using me and felt no conscience at all about abusing me. He had no right to use me for his wealth and fame though in all reality. I was Roth's hostage and the wasted years of terror, grief, sadness, hurt feelings, hurt body, shock and horror were like being through a war, somewhat. I want to recover so much and am attuned to my own recovery.
One of my Girl Bands, "Sun Goddess" (Debbie D - Vocals & Keyboards, Left Side), Roxanne Rossi (left middle-bass), Chris Amir Heckmar Wylde (L Center-Guitar), Jennifer Olmos (Drums - Left)
Saying "no" to Roth meant he could spend his entire life terrorizing and using me for his ongoing profits. He thought he could do any crimes he liked, continue to hire mafia members, and to have his friends terrorize me at my various residences. It went on and on....He just wouldn't allow me to move on in my life. I was his Hostage.
But, like I mentioned he is still obsessed with me and is mentally attached like some sort of leach or wild animal that has no human conscience, ability to respect anyone, do right by laws, or be reasonable and fair. Roth, to me is not actually a conscionable human male. Simply telling Roth "no" means his ego and if it involves his ego watch out: He is a madman. I understand why so many people call him, "Madman Dave" now.
VII
He had no gratitude whatsoever for the fortune he made off of me, leaching on me til this day, collecting funds by exploiting me, buying countless fancy cars, hiring maids, going on world excursions and exotic vacations, buying his sister cars, hiring a nutritionist, getting the top medical plastic this or that, buying a slew of expensive pure-breed dogs, hiring hookers, purchasing whatever dope he felt like for the moment, and partying and living it up. It's like "Wow, this broad made me over a hundred million dollars, baby and as long as I can milk her or chop her up for stake, I'm going to--I don't care what she feels or what any authority says or states, or what is right by logic. My wealth & fame is more important than any one's life or anyone's well being." That is the way Roth acts and feels. Besides for being able to hire any lawyer who would bend and bow to his whims, whether they were criminal or not, hiring mafia to commit felonies for him, and using his money to harm women and children non stop for most of his career; the fans, society, and world would not end his tyranny and charade.
His male fans mostly worshipped, drooled, and adored the idea of his type of male patriarchy, whereas, so many wanted to be just like him, being able to rape and abuse 14 year old virgins, rape and violate adult women, humiliate and lie about good women, or use up women who fell prey to his open charms and lies.
Roth does believe that love has something to do with subjugation and his idea of love means he will take a hostage who has to empower and enrich his career; either this, or his victim has to cater to his sexual lusts and whims--nothing else. They cannot love their mothers, fathers, family, have outside interests, pursue fame or fortune, have a career, have male friends, have any friends and must lack intelligence concerning their own legal rights and the monies to pursue those rights. I know all of this, because I experienced this by him first hand. He chooses the weak or vulnerable for his mayhem knowing and taking advantage that they either have lack of legal expertise regarding their own rights, have a lack of funds to hire lawyers and sue, or who were preyed upon prior. Predators intuitively know most of the time who to attack, rape, or pedophile. It's this inner 6th sense. You see, most predators won't attack a celebrity child because they know the family has lots of news power and legal monies to pursue justice. Thus, they prey like snakes squirming around on the ground, silent, looking for prey that won't fight back through the legal system or doesn't have the clout to stand up within a highly patriarchal and unfair society to begin with.
Debbie Davidsohn singing & private Entertainment Industry Showcase in Hollywood
MY LIFE MATTERS! I MATTER! THE FACT THAT I'M HERE ALIVE MATTERS! MY FUTURE MATTERS! MY ECONOMIC INDEPENDENCE & HAPPINESS MATTERS! I HAVE A CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO HAPPINESS, MY PRIVACY, A SEX LIFE, A MARRIAGE THAT IS GOOD, AND EVERYTHING GOOD IN LIFE!
He mocked me ceaselessly. He mocked me for not being famous even though he worked on destroying those dreams for me. He mocked me looks, the fact that I wore eye glasses at times, the fact that I was raped and would shed a drop of sunlight, display empathy, and was tyrannical in his demeanor and attitude. He also used me as a scapegoat for anything that didn't go right in his life. He blamed me for anything and everything, even though I wasn't there or didn't know about it at the time. He was a constant living nightmare, angry all the time, hostile, jealous, hateful, and filled with venom and criminal intent, and lies. He made up so many lies, I just can't see how he can lie his way out of his lies. He would never admit the truth cause being good, honest, and truthful meant he would lose his rock star fan base who mostly stood in awe at his "power", his "ruthlessness", his sadistic mockery of women, or saw him as the ladies man who ran harems, could have any girl or woman of his choice, could buy women on a whim. Most of his fans were male and they simply would love to be Roth.
He could never really get intimate though with anyone cause he had too many crimes to hide. Getting intimate would mean honesty and truth. Since he a pedophile all his adult life and did so many violent crimes and rapes, how could he get really close to anyone of substance? The music or making music was not about moving people's lives or helping them reach higher in life; it was all about him and his ego, being a ruthless tough guy, hateful and misogynistic towards girls and women, and threatening women in his songs. The men fans really liked that one. Women were just a pair of legs in his songs; or Jamie crying & feeling anything meant nothing. Jamie was born to be mocked & beratted by Roth. It was "who is the boss here, the man or woman". Roth was definitely going to prove that he was boss by ruining a good woman's life, hide her talents and treat her being and talent as if they meant nothing in a patriarchal society. The only talents that meant anything were those of men. If a woman's talent wasn't anything other than being a sex object for his whims or lusts, than all the rest of her did not matter at all. She was to be stuffed into society's live ditch to be buried alive and live her life in obscurity, poverty, sadness, and fear.
Yes, fearing Roth meant he was a real man, a macho big shot, the dominant controller, the Shaw of Iran, Saddam Hussein, Sheik what's his name, and having a penis meant he was the big money earner in society--in his mind that is. The war on women goes on in any way it can.
I just want to recall Hendrix's line: Castles in the sand fall into the sea, eventually.
Roth stalked me, beat me, did a whole slew of felonies against me, then went and slandered me to Capitol Records and other companies, telling them falsehoods, so they wouldn't sign me.
YES, IT DOES FUCKING MATTER!
I spoke to two women who worked at Capital Records then (and women executives hired in the music industry was a rarity, believe me): Nancy Jeffries and Rachel Matthews. Both had my CD, and Nancy called me screaming and yelling false accusations: "You beat up David Lee Roth". I didn't know what she was talking about, because not only does David Lee Roth have a really high black belt in martial arts, but he surrounds himself with very violent guards, and actual thug type of guards. He also hired criminal mafia as well. There is no way in heaven and Earth I could beat David Lee Roth up nor would even try. Besides this, the thought never even entered my mind. I was a happy innocent sweet kind person who had much talent, loved the arts, and spent my life studying it and doing it, since I was a child. He just couldn't allow a good woman to enjoy her life or shine though, because empowering a woman--me (or any other woman), meant that he could not control me or subjugate and torture me somehow.
Nancy Jeffries would not listen to me or what really happened or what was actually going on though. She wanted to blame, subjugate, and torture along-side Roth. She did not want to listen to reality or truth. She wanted to lie and torture her way into power along-side the men, because she believed the only way to power, money, and control was to side with powerful men. The truth didn't mean anything to her; justice and right meant nothing to her. The only thing that meant anything was ruthlessness, misogyny, and torture; this is the only nod she would gain in life.
VIII
Roth was so used to harming or hurting women somehow or another (and children for that matter), being kind, loving the freedom of women, respecting them to the fullest degree, respecting our joys and financial empowerment meant that he would be less powerful and couldn't get away with his love of sadistic pleasure, pedophilia, and that empowerment meant my voice would be heard: He tried to rape me when I was 15 and was dressed in black leather and into sadism, which was very scary. He did not want these facts known. I was one of the people who knew of his despicable sexual perversions and violations of laws. I had met many of his victims, had a trove of acquaintances and friends, and knew his hired "gun" musicians as well. One of them, told me how sick Roth made him and he relayed, he just had to get away from him and leave the tour.
Roth completely had no sense of remorse or compassion or empathy. His inability towards empathy and fairness was and is so despicable and horrifying; I have a difficult time believing that he is off the hook for thousands of crimes and felonies; how our patriarchal system could empower certain types of men so much, that they would honestly tolerate and accept such madness, so many crimes, so much pedophilia, lying, and abuses and the spew of his songs: Hideous.
Justin Tyme (Ron King) my original band member for Yankee Rose. We recorded our first album together and opened Black Radio Exclusive together when barely no one showed up. (Black Entertainment Exclusive was the result, now a huge network showing movies, TV, and comedy - keep in mind, this was not around when Justin & I did our thing..yet...) - Album was released on Billion Dollar Roqu Queen Records. Misogyny was so fierce, sadistic, and racism so prevalent, that anyone who dared attempt to get involved with multi-racial rock band was subject to violence too. Roth did everything he could to stop Justin & my friendship and work relationship together as well at the same time. No bands out there and we went to just about every major rock band would give us the light of day; all the male music managers pretty much told us to go to hell.
How could power and fame be enjoyable to a person such as that? How could it be given to a person like that? How can our society worship and pay into such a hideous monstrous specimen of fame?
MY LIFE AND TALENTS MATTER! MY TALENT IS WORTH A GOLD MINE FORTUNE! MY TIME & ENERGIES ARE VALUABLE. MY FEELINGS DO MATTER. WHAT I THINK MATTERS. WHAT I SAY MATTERS. WHAT I SANG OR SING MATTERS. THE ART I MAKE MATTERS! YOU OR ROTH OR ANYONE CANNOT INVALIDATE ME EVER AGAIN.
BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN, I MEAN DOUBLE IN MONEY THAN MEN FROM HEREIN OUT.
Other women think it's not so bad, because they never had to be the victim of his assaults, his jealousy, his pathological madness, perversions, his pedophilia, his lies, nor were they used for his wealth and exploitations; I have. Some even appear to like such as man who berates, harms, destroys women, deprives the idea of freedom for women, and tramples over the finest of dreams all for no reason other than he can and it makes him feel powerful and the only one.
He completely went insane when I was approaching other rock bands for work, such as opening acts or hoping for a referral for a record deal. Roth actually believed and still believes that he owns me and that I had no right to make my music, my film/music videos, or to be a successful independent, financially well-off woman. Roth believed I was his piece of property and he could treat me and any other woman as bad as he felt like. He used all types of threats against me for simply approaching "other men". He wished me much harm. It was a horror being the subject of his obsessions, venom, and possession. I was a possession to him--not a human being, something that made him rich and empowered his ego and sense of power.
I feel so hurt when I reflect on the historical reality of my life. I feel sad and humiliated, beyond any reason or logic. My humiliation and terror experienced at the whims and will of David Lee Roth, made him feel like a man. The fact that women would bow to him, worship him, feel terrorized or afraid of him one way or another, made him worthy of being called a "rock star". Being a rock star meant you could get away with almost anything in America from rape, pedophilia, outright abuses of spouses or girlfriends, use and exploit girls or women 'til no end, hammer them in songs and uplift nations of males who disliked women, or wanted to control us so we'd be subservient and take orders from these "lords" or "masters" to satisfy their unquenchable lusts for more power, harems, monetary rewards and profits, assets and ownership of lands, and on and on. Even politicians resorted to calling themselves "rock stars" or compared themselves to "rock stars".
I was Roth's hostage for many years, somewhat. His followers agreed with his tactics and did not view me as an independent human being with a right to pursue happiness and enjoy my time on Earth; instead, I was Roth's property and since he deemed it so or willed it, or spoke about it; they denied me the privilege of my freedom in America, a freedom I as of yet to know.
He tried to possess my attention most of the time or all of the time, that is, as soon as I was seeing someone else, dating someone else, meeting with other people, working with other people, taking dance classes or studying in college, Roth would become psychotically jealous and hone in on me as if I did not have a right to pursue happiness. He was a destroyer of rights, a rapist, a criminal, and a power handed to him by audiences and people who would pay him, plus law enforcement never really pursued justice against him. He would then have his paid friends stalk me. For instance, his close buddy Doug Klugh who had stalked me for Roth for years.
Klugh would tell me, "Oh I was at David's house yesterday and he said so and so" then I would get calls from Doug Klugh calling me names, make hostile remarks and so forth. I finally recorded and played these for a detective at the police station who listened, and who then called Doug Klugh. Doug Klugh denied it was he but the detective told him, "yes it is you" and Doug stopped threatening me for Roth. The names he called me on my private line was awful. Doug had tried to rape me as well. Recently, I found out he was stalking my friend GiGi Green and she had found out from others that Doug Klugh was a rapist. Why aren't women going forward still? Gigi didn't know he was working for Roth. I warned her, and then he stalked and showed up a private party I went to recently, came right up to me and started some stuff again. He had no remorse for what he caused in the past either. At the party, he had the audacity to come up to me again and start telling me "David this or that" jargon and I simply ignored him and got away from him. I was there celebrating Jimi Hendrix's old girlfriend's birthday: Rosa Lee Brooks at her private residence.
Roth isn't going to make me fear any longer. Although I do need lawyers to sue his ass right off his head still and still contend with chicken type of dirtbag lawyers, I've gotten much tougher over the years. That, and other women are coming to in a society of terrible misogyny, obviously through the Times Up and MeToo Movements and starting to put these guys into prison. It's time for Roth to be sentenced and to be held accountable for decades and decades of criminal activity.
Sun Goddess - "Keeper of the Flame" LP - Sold in various outlets (Pain Catalogue Distribution)
IX
He lied so much, I don't believe he will ever be able to lie himself out either. He is a boring tale in itself. He hated women although pretended he really loved women. He treated women hideously including me, who he used in his exploits at times in various albums, especially the one that launched his solo career, when he split from Van Halen, and Eddie blamed me at first and was angry. But the entire while he was having his fun, I was supposed to not work with others, not have friendships, and definitely was not supposed to appeal to other men. His so called, "love" for me meant I was his hostage only. In his mind, he was allowed to do anything he liked, but if I did anything with my life, it was illegal. This was in his mind. Then, girl and after girl, and woman after woman in Hollywood and L.A. told me horror tales of his rapes, pedophilia, violence, and mayhem. It's such a long horror string of crimes, that I can barely discuss this in a nutshell.
I MATTER MORE THAN HE DOES & TAKE SENIORITY ON MY GOALS, AMBITIONS, NEEDS, & MY CREATIONS. MY CREATIONS MATTER MORE THAN HIS FROM HEREIN OUT.
I was dating also and had a few boyfriends or potentials. His insane jealousy was no different when I did not have someone I was seeing: He was always furious, angry, hateful, vicious, malicious, ill-intended, deceptive and resorted to countless varied crimes to state his case. Since he had never been punished for decades of violence, pedophilia, drugging up youngsters, it escalated and never stopped.
His animosity at my freedom and being was so harsh. I could slice through his evil hatred and desire to control like a black pile of hard foam, because his hatred and thoughts of male supremacy were so thick, one would have noticed the materialization of evil in itself.
Although one major rock music magazine at that point wrote an article about him, claiming he had schizophrenia on the cover issue, I never thought to ask myself at that time: "What was he doing to other people". When you look up the word, schizophrenia, the dictionary states this:
noun
- a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation.
- (in general use) a mentality or approach characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements.
I have known many people who drink and who used drugs in the music industry, but it didn't give them the right to rape, violate, attack, or harm another person.
That type of behavior is part of a character without the drinking and drugs I believe. Roth was criminally insane throughout his career. Or, maybe he was always just criminal without the insane or a better word would be "aberated".
As I mentioned, Roth ran an underground illegal club called The Zero Club, which opened at 2 am in Hollywood, which kept moving location. The club would set up at any place he could rent out through his team of criminals and was set up to lure kids in, underage kids who liked to dance so he could have his choice as to whom he would rape and use as his sex slave. He would sit in the back room and snort his cocaine and drink his whiskey and the club would serve and sell alcohol illegally to get any kid drunk, drunk enough to not notice. I spoke to one girl and she told me that Roth told her that he wanted to marry her and she was only 15 when he did this. I'm not certain how long the club did this, but every time the heat got gist the club would move and re-rent a location very easily. A number of empty rooms and space was all they needed.
The club lured in teens, some who were just runaways, kids who were misguided, kids who just liked to dance and who didn't have any place to go and no one checked IDs. Word spread very fast on the streets of Los Angeles and Hollywood. Roth knew this p.r. tactic from his early days lying to gather fans up for Van Halen and to fill the nightclubs he was performing in. It's a sex trafficking type of ideology. Roth knew all about this and was very good at it. Because of his rock star wealth, fame, & worldwide notoriety, he was empowered in society as a White man doing what White Man had somehow did throughout the ages in America. Keep in mind, young forced "prostitutes" were also forced under governmental laws during the Civil War to work for troops and keep them satisfied. This was a White Man American M.O. in other words, historically significant, prevalent, yet kept brushed under the hideous horror rug of hell inside America for hundreds of years.
Roth knew that spreading word on the streets was free advertising and the fastest way to get the word out. You tell one group of girls and before you know it, thousands of others know about it as well. Roth & his band VH used to tell their street fans that Led Zeppelin was going to be at the club they were playing at for the evening or that Rod Stewart was going to be there. The club goers would spread the word when hearing of those bands like wildfire, and before they knew the clubs were packed with fans waiting to see the private performances or get a glimpse of Led Zeppelin or Rod Stewart. Of course these bands never showed up, and only V.H. performed. The girls who fell victim to Roth's crimes just were not aware they had any rights and of course in a system of male dominance with crimes ritually perpetrated against women. All of this was not unusual. I myself, was not aware that I would have a fighting chance for my rights either as a girl or woman. Even the police at that time were in support of Roth. In fact, they raided the club and left Roth who was sitting in the back room intact. He did escape through a back door he also used. They did not take any action nor arrest him. I do believe some of the police were being paid off and even participated in the culture of rape. No one was held accountable, that is. The club simply moved locations on the next round.
Being very social, I met up with many of Roth's victims. One is named Perla Carbajal who relayed that she was raped by Roth when she was 14 in the bathroom stall at The Troubadour club on Santa Monica Blvd. She told me that Roth had "ruined her life" and forced her into the bathroom and raped her right on the toilet. Perla told me that she was wearing braces at that age and had never had sex prior. She relayed that "I was left there bleeding on the toilet" and that his "breath smelled like Whiskey". She also relayed how she felt ashamed about it all. I personally know when Roth did this because my manager, a man named George, who worked with some big industry talents went to the Troubadour on the very day that Roth raped Perla, but we didn't know he had raped her yet. Roth saw George and I get out of a car together. Roth was furious, envious, and jealous that I was with a man, my manager and became psychotic. I saw the look in his eye when he saw me with George and Roth looked like a madman. He viewed me with hatred. I felt afraid and walked past him. To alleviate his feelings of inferiority at seeing the women he had just made over 100 million dollars over on his big hit he used for, with another man, and to feel in power and control, he waited until George & and I left and raped Perla.
Perla told me she was there to see a little band play and it was exciting for her to think of seeing band members play music. She was not there for sex, did not think about sex, was only fourteen years old, and seeing a band was the big thing. The Troubadour would allow kids in but wouldn't allow them drink at the front bar. The owner of the Troubadour, Doug Weston was one of the most hateful misogynistic bastards though and was a supporter of male rock stars (they brought him in the cash and profits) no matter what they did in his bathrooms to girls. Roth had free reign to do whatever he liked in Weston's club. I spoke to Weston later, and he was so hostile, hateful, unethical, and misogynistic, one could slice the ether of arrogance and dominance with a straw right in half.
I MATTER, YES! Children matter, yes! Pearla Carbahal does matter! Her life matters! Her justice matters! She was raped as a child by Roth and that DOES MATTER! ANY PATRIARCHAL OPPRESSOR OR MISOGYNIST HAS NO PLACE IN OUR WESTERN SOCIETY ANY LONGER. THERE IS NO MORE SPACE OR ROOM FOR THE OPPRESSION OF GIRLS OR WOMEN ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET.
I may repeat issues, because sometimes, it takes a number of conversations to cause people to comprehend; to listen, to just begin to understand. Some people are slow at learning certain areas, and this may not exclude anyone. This is not a mockery at all either. Learning disabilities are sometimes prevalent in society and that is quite obvious.
X
Just viewing the men (and the women) in society and studying US history for years, you start to see a learning disability pattern: Men won't obey, listen, feel sensitive to the needs and rights of women throughout hundreds of years. This relays a message: Man's mind was not intelligent enough to "comprehend" or "get it" generally. I am not stating this fact individually though because there are great men who did "get it", did, in fact "understand" and "felt", were progressed, ethical, sensitive, caring, and considerate as well throughout history. These are stories that need to be told; light needs to be shed on those men as well.
Debbie Davidsohn - Directed this photo shoot - Modernity and Victorian Eras mixed together in 20th Century Photographic Artworks. Stage costume I wore and stripped off, layer upon layer. This layer was Victorian, second layer was the undergarments (many) Victorians were forced to endure; under that mini skirt or dress, under that silver sequinned bikini.
There were more victims, hideous tales confessed to me about the horrors of being forced into unwanted and non consensual sexual scenarios by David Lee Roth. One young woman, a Black woman, who I worked with for awhile at a small job, told me about her experience with Roth. She told me that she was excited one night because Roth had expressed interest in her. She would not deny the truth, but she got into his car and he had a large overweight bully bodyguard named "Ed" (who had assaulted me on a prior occasion and caused lifelong damage), but then Roth forced her into bed with a young guy he picked up. She told me while looking into my eyes how she felt and how terrorized she was. She relayed that she did not know he was going to do this sort of thing. She was a small Black woman, very petite, a nice person, and very hurt. Roth situated "Big Ed" at the door so no one could leave and forced her to have sex with two men and forced her to watch as the young guy he picked up from a street performed oral sex on Roth. She did not know he wanted to use her as his "slave girl" and thought he at first liked her as a person. She relayed that the guy that Roth picked up was pretty young and could have been 17 or even 16.
I am telling you this again, because you may have skipped over this as well, or didn't take this seriously enough. Raping a minority, knowing full well she is "poor", is not rich and powerful, and she is Black was and is quite common in the US. Roth raped this girl/woman and I saw the look in her eyes as she told me this. I still feel the look in her eyes. I still see the fear and hurt. I can't forget this at all. I repeat: This is not ok!
Why do I repeat certain events; this is out of the norm in the "editing" realm. Reading is easy enough for most people today, but repeating the same thing, even in a different way, out of the ordinary?
Roth would impress people with his fame and fortune, then take advantage of the innocence and trust of people. In fact, the young women thought maybe they would have a chance at becoming his only gal, but he would soon destroy that hope through forced sexual situations, terrible disrespect, emotional and psychological abuse, and threats if anyone told.
But, back to the music industry: The music industry applauded Roth's crimes and even gave him a Hall of Fame statue of some sort or another. The male executive chain of command only used or signed token girls and women and I have more knowledge and experience after seeing what the male executives did to any female star who started to become powerful. I knew because I did work at various record labels and heard and witnessed horrific deeds done to certain female stars to get rid of them. It was a real HORROR STORY and FACTUAL!
The men in the music industry typically had an aligned thought stratagem: As soon as a female star became "too powerful" they would get rid of her and eliminate her. This was so at Interscope, where the A&R man hated a hit maker star just because she was female. In fact I heard him say how he would rid of her. He hated her for succeeding. He wanted me to see his power as to how he could make and break a woman and had all mighty power of any woman who wanted to work in the music business. He waved this personality and character aspect over me and I could not play in; that is, I walked out. He deprived his record label countless millions in profits all so he could feel powerful. We all lost actually because of his egocentric evil lust for control and power.
Interscope's head A&R executive hated me, sexually attacked me, and was a married man. He caused me trauma, hated my music, yet called me into his office only to humiliate me after I refused his brash and despicable sexual advances inside his office. His language was crass, abusive, scary, and horrifying. He expected me to run to him like a puppy in terror and just because I am and was a woman.
MY ART MATTERS! MY MUSIC MATTERS. MY VOICE MATTERS. MY MOVEMENT AND DANCE MATTERS. MY LIFE STORY MATTERS! MY EXPERIENCE MATTERS! MY FAMILY MATTERS. HOW SOCIETY TREATS ME MATTERS. SEXUAL ABUSE MATTERS. CRIME MATTERS. AND ROTH DOES NOT MATTER ANYMORE.
All this music I wrote year after year since I was a little girl and all the career plans I had were thwarted by a hideous domineering criminal and sadistic minded set of people, mostly men, but also their female sadists who were afraid of losing their little token spot. You see, as long as the women acted hatefully and brutally as the men did, they earn a little token spot for a while, that is, until the men decided to kick them to the curb as they usually did.
Also, it was this aligned spirit amongst the men, who aligned with Roth's will. Roth's desire for control was quite prevalent and he did not want me to obtain a record deal, enjoy my freedom of artistic expression, and definitely did not want me to feel empowered economically. This ideology meant that he could try to make me his slave, whether to his whims, longings, yearnings, or desire; and mostly as his muse for his profits. HE could keep my knowledge silent, hidden, out of inner shame, because if the public were to actually know even about some of his crimes outright, he may have to be held accountable somehow. This risk he couldn't take though.
I pray and hope that he gets the facts straight one day: I'm not at all interested in him nor will ever be. I will not and will never marry him and could not bare to be in the same room with him. I'm beyond hurt by him and there is no sorrys that will make me forget his history or past. Although he still feels no remorse nor conscience about his wrongdoings and crimes, if he ever did, it wouldn't matter. He needs to let me get on with my life and take his will out of my life. Everything he did to me is going to boomerang right back at him somehow as any tyrant endures sooner or later. I don't like his songs, don't listen to him, not interested in what he does, where he goes, or anything about him. I want him out of my life: End of story. I never want to hear his voice again nor will ever tolerate an ounce of abuse again either. If he sees me in a crowded place and decides to stalk me again, attack me again, hurt me again, I WILL IMPRISON AND SUE HIM OUTRIGHT. I would like to sue him now to be honest for years of strife, abuses, exploitations, felonies, and con artistry.
Is there a decent lawyer willing to go the lengths with me? Even lawyers were afraid of him, from my experience, being men and afraid to shake the status quo.
I don't believe he deserves freedom after stripping my freedom for decades and using me til no end. He made his fame and fortune off of me (others as well) and someone like him has no right nor was ever given consent. He has no right to ever consider running to me for solace or comfort again, or economic empowerment. He is a sick leach with disgusting purpose and I'm beyond horrified at the terrible years of strife I suffered because of his evil will and felony offenses.
There are many other icons I had some sort of dealings with or experiences with: I tried to contact Cheryl Crow to see if I could get an opening with her and maybe see if she would help a fellow female recording artist who was down and out. Her management office spokeswoman was also one of the cruelest and mean-spirited types. She did not know who I was but called me a "Bitch" and was very angry for the simple fact I called at all, as if I didn't have a right to need anyone or call her office. I was nice, cordial, and honest and because I was a female, another female wouldn't have it either. I am CERTAIN that if a male recording artist called, the spokeswoman would have behaved differently.
XI
I MATTER! IF A RECORD LABEL EXECUTIVE OR EMPLOYEE TREATS ME WITH CRUELTY, HOSTILITY, PERVERSION, MISOGYNY, OR VENTS ON ME, I WILL TAKE ACTION FROM HEREIN OUT. I MATTER. HOW DARE YOU OR ANYONE TREAT ME WITH DISRESPECT?
Then there was the time I called Bob Dylan's record label. I was so used to calling record labels and knew the routine already: No unsolicited material, go through management and/or a lawyer, and be respectful. I was put on the line with a male named "Richard" who was extremely hostile, very angry, and started to berate and abuse me by telephone. All I asked was this: "I would like to possibly sing a duet with Bob Dylan--can I send over a CD sample to see if he'd be into it? My company is Liberty Dog Productions and I run the management portion as well." Richard went ballistics and yelled at me. He told me that "you have to hire a lawyer" instead. I told him, that I "could not afford to retain an attorney at this time". Richard continued to vent and yell at me demeaning me for being impoverished. I finally told him to fuck himself. The fact is, is that I did hire an attorney to shop my record label product, Bill Blackwell, but he ripped us off, lied to us, and then just simply kept the money I had paid him. He never did do what we hired him to do. I wasn't about to entrust a lawyer for my creative yearnings at all. They can maybe do well with contracts (at times) but nothing else, that I'm aware of. They can be just as much criminals as those locked up today.
Richard hated the fact that I was a woman. It was simple as that. If a male had called with the same request, Richard would have shown moderation and respect but since I was a woman seeking her own, with my own company--therefore, my own sort of power, this disturbed Richard's sense of ideological misogyny. Richard is a woman hater and oppressor and is not a good employee for any company inside America.
What will be shall be: Que Serra Serra. Music used to be magical to me, but it was a useless attempt. I wrote beautiful music, classical compositions, rock ballads, blues, r&b songs, pop music and mixed contemporary music. I co wrote and wrote solo songs most of my life. I felt this joy and special feeling when playing music and singing, but it turned to this sort of hell, almost as if a bunch of lunatics were telling me that I had no right to enjoy my life, earn an honest living, or thrive from my god given talents. They were wrong. I know this; do they yet?
I was censored, obstructed, sexually abused, raped, brutalized, physically and mentally tortured, stolen and robbed, and much more.
My work was stolen by the Pop star Michael Jackson. My manager brought my production package, a project I had created, to Michael's house and also gave a copy of my script and production package to Michael Eisner who was the CEO at Disney, and gave a copy to George Lucas. It was about a female hero, a 3D film, about 20 minutes long and all scripted out with a good list of merchandising. We wanted Michael to produce my project, but instead of producing, he stole it, put his name on the script, and went into production immediately on it, collecting all credit and monies and with guess who? George Lucas and Michael Eisner. Here I was basically homeless, sleeping on a friend's floor temporarily, working hour after hour just trying to make something of myself and here was Michael Jackson: A successful rich and very famous person who had everything! He would never be in want. But what did he do? He stole from the poor. I had to move on and when speaking to attorneys, I was told they would need a $50k retainer fee to take on Jackson who was a hard one to take on. So I just forgot it and let him make another fortune out of my work.
He wasn't the only person or company that would plagiarize my hard work or conduct unethical business with though. There was Paramount Studios who plagiarized a screenplay I had written after meeting with one of their producers with my friend, a past Academy Award winner I had been working with, Gene Ruggiero. I spent quite a long time writing a fantasy adventure story, filled with humor, fun, and lots of goodies. Gene & I had a meeting there with a young producer they hired. He took the script to read as if maybe interested. When I called him later, he told me he sent the script down to the "story department". I didn't know what this meant though. This meant, he sent it to Paramount's Story Dept. to chop up, exploit, use, and commit plagiarism. Voila, it didn't take long for my story to appear without my name on the credits, robbed once again. They made a film out of it, but took out some of it, used the story and some of the key elements and that was that. Someone else's name was on the story as the screen play writer and it was released by Paramount. I'm not going into more details here and they did make monies from my work.
There was LA Antonio Reed at Jay Z's label who asked for my product, then jumping all over one of my songs stealing the beats, hook line and making a version of my product for Beyonce instead without paying me or dime or being in any way diplomatic and fair about it. I saw a documentary which relayed that Antonio L.A. Reid had also plagiarized another person's hard work, but that person was a famous star at some point.
If you get to the point where you can't create, and only stealing or hurting other people's chances in your path and the only way you find power; then you re-perpetuate these crimes in society's conscience, that is now that you are powerful and a leader, you gain followers; everyone ends up in some sort of war, instead of creating or using their creative genius, from the souls, gifts from within turned outward to uplift or change society somehow. You are now a tyrant, a thief, as bad as any slavemaster, any political criminal, any criminal. When you deny your own "real greatness" or your real inner self's need to create and express by hostily deceiving and stealing from a person who spent much time creating, you only rob yourself dignity, a feeling of genuine accomplishment, and tell society that it's ok to be a fraud, a fake, and that it's ok for people to steal & hurt you maybe.
MY WORKS AND CREATIONS MATTER AND ARE MINE. I OWN THEM. NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO STEAL THEM OR USE THEM WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT OR PERMISSION. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS LAW & RULE?
As far as Michael was concerned, maybe he thought the same thoughts as Roth did, for being powerful and very wealthy afforded him (at least in his thoughts) the right to steal and abuse others whenever he felt like it. I found out much later that he had also possibly done the same sort of crimes to many other creative people, people who were struggling, poor, in need, and who he knew had no legal backing since they were unknown.
I never bothered to think about Michael again though and simply forgot about him for decades. I felt sad though to find out, many years later that he was addicted to drugs and would have helped him out as his friend, if he would have allowed me to, to help him see the light and work on a humble recovery program instead. Through sources and people, I found out Michael had been addicted to drugs much longer than anyone dare speak of. I was horrified to find out, that all the while throughout much of his career he had been taking drugs and no one in his family could convince him otherwise. No one wanted to discuss it either.
It would have been much better to take the ethical humane road instead. I can't force anyone to do that though. For his sake, he should have though.
Another secret is, is that I did play a part in helping Roth eliminate his addiction to cocaine and only because I knew about it.
XII
The other part of the story is the film industry, which didn't seem so bad, although there were some rapists and more sexual abusers whose intentions were really bad. There were the street agents looking for sex slaves who never really helped any one's careers, the agent who just wanted to look at my private parts instead of work and create great films, the producer who chased me around the table, and the snobs who just wouldn't let you in, because you "were not referred" by a big name. Your only choice was to get with a street level agent and as the years went by, well the few I did sign up with managed only to get me very small and McDonald's level pay levels, and then I got older and wasn't a 20 year old any longer, ripe for molestation, rape, and sexual slavery, or being the kick side jewel girlfriend, or someone to kick it around with for the week or month on the backside of their cesspool. That meant that less people would be interested in meeting with me. Since many of the executives and male workers inside the business were looking for sex slaves or girls and women they could humiliate somehow, that left only a small narrow select few who had any artistic integrity at all or had human rights learning and leanings.
Some of these are the best people: Actors & Actresses, great artists. People who don't rape, really work very hard, and have an intense artistic creative side. I didn't suffer any where near the horrors I endured in the music industry. There were the varied casting agents who were looking for this or that, but no one humiliated me in the way those in the music industry did; there were the varied producers, some pretty bad actually. There were the agents, and I couldn't sign up with major agents, like I mentioned unless referred. I tried.
It was: Now you are too old and we can get an 18 year old naive brunette or blonde to do the roles instead who go without knee pads, without question.
There were the cow lines, waiting in lines to read for a role, waiting in rain for hours on end, in line with hundreds of others, which ok, I wasn't the right sort of actress for. There were the calls that I wasn't right for and did meet with them in their offices after being called in to read, but I wasn't chased and they did not mention my private parts, nor make me feel subjugated or humiliated in that way. It was much easier to contend with not being right for the part, then having them call me all the way to their office so they could treat me as a sex slave, to be really honest, although I did feel a little sad I may not have been right for the part and needed monies either way. But, emotionally I felt much better about myself as a human being, if anyone knows what it's like to feel emotionally healthy as a human, that is. In the industry, it may not be always easy to feel happy or secure.
My self produced film/music videos, in which I owed hundreds of thousands of dollars for were put on the back burner. I couldn't get a company to assist me in editing them nor promoting them and did not fall in love with anyone I had met, because I just couldn't love mad men, harem-master, drug using womanizer types and didn't need that in my personal life on a personal level. None of them really liked me and more or less saw me only as a sex object to be abused, misused, and under appreciated. None saw me as my father would have seen me (which was with much love, respect, and protection) if he were alive, and all instinctively knew as the predators they all were that he was not alive, because most girls or women who have good fathers in their lives, are less prone to predators.
Predators can sniff out a lone girl or woman who does not have the money, clout, or paternal backing in her life and they take advantage at every corner, whenever they can. They sometimes instinctively do this. They are less likely to conduct these crimes against very wealthy prevalent family members, knowing that they will fight harder for their children's rights, have the money to pursue justice, and typically have bodyguards who protect their children.
I remember being ten years old and my little sister brought home this man who said he wanted to use me in a Nestle Commercial. I was ten years old for god's sake. My mother was naive. He told me to dress up in a nice skirt and meet him on a certain street, a boulevard in Hollywood. I was excited that I was going to earn money being in a Nestle chocolate commercial and help my mom out, who was alone raising four children while living in poverty. I went to where he said and whoa and behold the old man tried to turn me into a prostitute at ten years old! I realized that he was a fake though and walked home very sad. He worked for the CIA I found out later, which is another hideous reality, whereas, the CIA spent much time trying to use children unethically and criminally; whereas, these hideous immoral behaviors went on for over 35 years with its huge history running 149 national illegal experiments called the MKultra experiments. They targeted many minority, girls and women, and US military families often time. I was my father's daughter, and they had already targeted my dad because he refused to work for them. He was an MD and was highly ethical; he would never resort to government crimes or tyranny. He died and then they also targeted the rest of my living family. It's a long story and factual.
WE MATTERED. CHILDREN HAVE RIGHTS. NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO RAPE A CHILD AT ALL UNDER ANY LAWS OR ANY GODS' LAWS. SIMPLY PUT: YOU DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO HARM A CHILD, RAPE A CHILD, OR HIT A CHILD! GET THIS FACT STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO BE ON THE SAME BLOCK WITH A CHILD.
XIII
They forced children to become prostitutes, drugged up children, robbed their families, used them, trained them, strangled them, electric shocked them, distributed LSD and drugs to elementary schools, targeted all types, and even had their own garbage pick up company, whereas, you would think it was the garbage men picking up the weekly garbage, but it was them taking, robbing, or stealing anything they could, sneaking into apartments and households, so families could not have any evidence that could prove their serious crimes. There is much evidence available pertaining to these facts, and historical documents that relay many more crimes and mayhem.
They would rob families, and try to silence military families (such as ours) by stealing any sort of family film footage or any kind of evidence that they even lived or worked on an air force base or military base. They drugged up little girls and also kidnapped them, turned them into runaways, made them do all sorts of favors for them, and sometimes some of the real prostitutes were just CIA recruits doing their bidding. They terrorized families and people, and many didn't even know they were doing it, being so naive and trusting of the US government. They experimented on the military, giving them drugs without them knowing, using them like guinea pigs, then sending them off to war. They did this especially during the Vietnam War. The CIA definitely tried to hide these experiments and did whatever they could to suppress the truth. They attempted to make people forget using ECT (electric shock), drugging, and compelled their victims into mental illness so their word would not be held up as credible.
They attacked my family, because my dad had served the military in Texas as a Medical MD for awhile and they attacked him too. When he passed away very early in life, they started to attack my family. They robbed us and wanted to strip memories, because my dad knew they were doing illegal and unethical stuff so soon decided to leave and took his family away from Texas after a horror nightmare he discovered there. They absolutely terrorized my poor dad who just wanted to help heal people, was trained to save lives, deliver babies, perform life saving surgeries, and they discriminated against him as well. He did not know what he was getting into when he decided to work for the military as an MD and was quite virtuous and would not partake in their criminal conduct whatsoever. They hated him for it and were afraid he was going to leak anything he knew. They also stalked us for years to come and caused destruction in ways, I cannot discuss here.
Many men today (yes even the seemingly ethically inclined) will ignore it when you try to educate them on the horrors of American history throughout all of its industries and politics, whether Hollywood film making, music, corporate atmosphere, or within its various security agencies and organizations. They just do not want to know. They act like it does not exist; do not use their minds to extend support or even to think a positive thought; and, want to join the majority of males who actually believe they have a right to abuse women somehow or one another. Like Holocaust Denial these deniers rant and rave allover the press today, blame women for being raped for wearing a dress or shorts, or for simply being women. They deny responsibility repeatedly. Holocaust Denial is a crime and people are & will be sent to prison if they dare to deny the Holocaust. Why not send men to prison who deny women's rights, stand in the way of career success for women, deny us jobs and promotions, deny us governmental business stimulus funds, and who deny by using tactics that cause the oppression and suppression of women in general; a girls and women's rights denier can be as hideous as a Holocaust denier.
Now is a very good time to uplift humankind by changing the direction of how a U.S. society treats its girls and women in every sector, including Hollywood, its music industry, its corporate 500, and where its political stimulus monies go to. Of course, I'd like this upgrade to spread world wide in every sector of society, but there is still much work to do in this respect. I know of some of the horrors that go on internationally through the massive crimes perpetrated against girls and women. I know of the genital mutilation crimes performed against girls, the ironing of little girl's breasts in portions of Africa, because their mothers are afraid they will be raped if they start to grow breasts, the beatings, persecutions in many Arab countries against girls and women.
If they are raped, the female is usually charged and held accountable in cases of rape instead of the male criminal perpetrators. A woman will be persecuted and possibly murdered if she fights her rapist. It resembles the old Catholic Inquisition, whereas, women were persecuted, tortured, put on trial and accused because men were attracted to them. Women were titled, "witches" because men would not take responsibility for themselves, their sexual feelings, and they used women as scapegoats for their wrongdoing, crimes, and feelings.
I could not afford an attorney to take on the many evil doers within the industries I hoped to succeed in and this does not mean that I am not stating the truth. I have had to deal with some very abusive male lawyers besides who also unscrupulously attacked me like a concubine sex slave repeatedly... All the lawyers just seemed to side with abuse towards women. It is and was as simple as that. Judges did it too I noticed. I met with a lawyer once, who instead of help me handle the case I offered him, told me that I had to live in a house he would rent so he could come and have sex with me on his whims and be kept by him as his sex slave. This was a married lawyer and he was very forceful and sure of himself. I turned down his offer and was baffled and hurt by him.
I worked pt for a few lawyers and one of them trapped me in an elevator for his sexual lusts. The issue was, was that he could not resort to behaving or acting as a decent human being, asking me politely if I wanted to date with a forceful attitude. In his mind, and through his behavior I had no right to turn him down and my job depended on doting to his lusts. He didn't even ask me out to lunch or have a cup of tea with him; he felt he had a right to force me into a sexual scenario with him. Besides this, he was one of the ugliest human beings I had ever laid eyes upon and there was no way I would have wanted to date him. Trapping me in the elevator was the end of the line and I had to leave that day.
Another issue: My own relative line has a misogynistic female oppressive outlook in an old fashion style at times and also did not support most of my rights as a women. I could talk with them and they would act like walls instead and basically not really hear my plea and cries for help. The males feel they can control the women and will tell women what to do without an ounce of rationality as to what the women want to do with their lives. For instance, an uncle told me to become a secretary or babysit for a living. He did not ask me what I wanted to do for a living and what I wanted to do for a living did not matter; the only thing that mattered was what was in his head and his desire to be the law and have control over others or myself.
As far as most of my relative line is concerned, you are supposed to marry a man and answer to his needs; his needs are what matters. Financial wealth is not for women; it belongs to men; the women are subservient, take care of the food needs and dote and hover. Then, you breed and have children and answer to the children; as a woman, you never pursue desires or a career of your own. There are some modern 21st Century thinkers in my family line and I think the marriage and children lifestyle can be very nice if both parties love each other, treat the children well, and actually enjoy having lifestyles as such, but there is a history of patriarchal misogyny and forced marriages while undermining the rights of girls and women too. I think if you love someone and have children that is wonderful and beautiful, but just marrying without love, for the sake of being married or on account that being a single woman is not acceptable in society today, is outrageous and against my laws and policies.
YES, THIS DOES FUCKING MATTER WHETHER YOU SAY SO OR NOT!
Being single is fine today, especially if you are a woman and considering the millions of spousal abuse cases, typically perpetrated by men towards the women. Women who are dependent on the men for economic sustenance sometimes have a very hard time leaving, even if they are being beat, hit, slapped, raped daily, or have to endure drunken husbands who carelessly abuse and mistreat them. Some women are stuck, have nowhere to go, are afraid for their own lives and their children's lives and many children are forced to grow up watching their fathers abuse their mothers. It's a horrible fact of life.
Stop the cycle of misogyny and violence now!!!
XIV
Most of the men in varied industries won't do anything to help and many still support and silently support the many male perpetrators of sex crimes and crimes in general. Many of your famous rock stars knew Roth was abusing me, had hurt me, threatened my life, did various crimes against me, and still they paraded and helped Roth almost as if they were a gang of KKK members (but women haters instead) or Nazi third Reich members who liked starving and forcing their victims to live in uninhabitable ghettos without proper nutrition, hope, legal recourse, funding, or medical attention. It didn't matter to any of them that I knew. None could care less whether I had any money or not. They all toured with and supported each others wealth and all women were left at the wayside; there was no thought as to the women's welfare, their economic security, their health care, their living conditions, nor that of their families. Roth was making a fortune using and exploiting me, but he never once thought of my medical care, if I had a home to live in, whether I was happy, if I had enough for family members, or if I had a career at all.
Roth forced me through his various innuendos to live in horrific conditions. He forced my sister to suffer unnecessarily who I needed to care for who just passed away, and who did not obtain medical attention when needed because we had to live in poverty. He went around to my jobs as well. At one job I obtained as head secretary to the President at ASCAP, which is a music royalty accounting firm, Roth decided to cause more mayhem and called them with some sort of slander and defamation and out of power and had me fired just like that. Roth was more important because of his rock star fame and fortune, so his power could literally starve anyone of his choice or put them in very dangerous circumstances. Here I was making little monies, yet had a job that would at least pay my rent and some sustenance and Roth was so evil, he felt empowered to destroy that as well. One call was all it took, one little sneeze of complaint, one little horrifying idea that because he was a White male, born into privilege, was a big rock star with adoring fans all around the world, that he could trample any girls or woman's rights without oversight, cause, or retribution.
It was very easy for ASCAP either way, cause in line would be waiting two thousand other pretty female secretaries, all desperately waiting for a low paying little job and to take orders from the male executives in charge making ten times more money, if not more for being hogs, hoards, and tyrants.
Society expects me to still be nice, sweet, demure, verbally intellectual and HAVE NO EMOTIONS ABOUT ALL OF THIS! Here was Roth doing attempted murder, disguised as legal in a misogynistic Taliban US society and that was legal and ok, according to Male Dominated Judicial Rule of Law and it's female slaves who are fed by it. So the women will sit by and throw stones with the males, legally!
I'm supposed to be graceful and "oh well that's ok" and not feel a single thing, numb. According to misogynistic male-written religious laws, as victims of crime we are supposed to stay numb, not be angry, not feel anything, and forgive, forgive, forgive so he can ceaselessly perpetrate more crimes and hang his head over everyone he sees as a good victim. Religion dictates forgiveness, but he does not deserve forgiveness and never attempted to make any amends what so ever. Not a sorry, not a financial offer, not anything but continuous psychological abuse and threats. Currently, is insanely jealous & attempting to stand in the way of work offers for me in the film and music industry. His jealousy, is his motive; for some very sick and demented reason he just can't stand it when a woman has her day or succeeds, especially someone he felt he had a right to control as his slave, such as myself.
I'd be completely insane if I was not angry and mad and also a doe eyed imbecile if I did not seek justice. It's very difficult when lawyers want so much money, that I don't have, and people like Roth walk all over and trample this notion, which is illegal either way. Justice may be in the eye of the beholder and even if he was to be forced by a jury and judge to pay up on decades of terrorizing, crimes, hatred, slander, defamation, lies, lies, and more lies, physical violence, stalking, exploitation it doesn't mean he would be fully remorseful. He's not the type to admit he was wrong. A misogynist asinine like Roth never thinks he is wrong. Hussein himself couldn't admit he was wrong and until his last day on Earth kept insisting that he had a right to tyranny.
I HOPE SOMEONE SHOOTS DAVID LEE ROTH'S HEAD OFF AND HIS DICK FIRST! WHILE THEY ARE IT, WHY NOT HANG THE REST OF HIS PATRONIZERS UPSIDE DOWN, SHAKE ALL THEIR MONEY OUT OF THEM, AND BURN THEM IN A PIT OF FIRE. (My parody based on Roth's false allegations - of course women have 2 keep up with the joneses playing crucified virtual endless forgivers according to Misogyny laws written by men). When I never thought the thought, Roth thought it and dreamed it up to condemn me. He forced me close to death through his rituals but no one cared now displayed concern at all openly. All his crew knew about it too: those who benefited, including his manager who made a fortune off of Roth's abuses and even joined him in support to gain more monies for himself. He was later sorry but never apologized. He knows he did wrong. He and Roth fought and disjoined. He was aware that Roth was reeking in huge profits using me as his slave.
I am not violent felon and not about to throw my life away committing crime; never did, and never would, but this also empowers criminals such as Roth because the system of male led law enforcement are misogynist criminals themselves. When you support a pedophile, rapist, drug lord, fraudster who does violence and crimes against women and children, you are just as bad and evil as he is. Who made anyone above the law though? Men made themselves above the laws.
Women have been forced into silence and as forgivers for all time, centuries in America. Women should be able to shoot or do whatever it takes to stop a rape from happening and have every right to defend themselves. Of course many of the men don't like this, but the truth is the truth. You cannot blame or persecute a woman or girl from using anything she can to prevent a rapist from raping her. Throughout history, women were expected to do nothing, say nothing, and endure the endless cycle of violence and rape or pedophilia. Society paid these perpetrators handsomely for doing so. The truth is ugly.
Roth & I will never "kiss and make up"!!! Outsiders see his crimes as nothing, as ok, and do not take them seriously. There is no natural way I will ever forgive him, nor does he care at all either way. How can one forgive someone who feels no remorse nor attempts any amends or retribution? He just does not care and still feels empowered to perpetrate more evils and threats. He has threatened me ceaselessly for many years now, still oft time obsessed with me, still feels its all a big joke as to the violence, crimes, rapes, and felonies he committed and is still empowered somewhat by entertainment industry workers. As long as they support him, and only because he was a famous rock star, he is empowered to continue his crimes somehow or another.
It's a very sad situation. How do you make a human being learn to have a conscience may be the question? Is it like trying to make a person grow arms who was born with no arms? Is it impossible? Even if he did grow a conscience, how to then compel him to make full amends somehow. Not that he can, but making amends would be a first step to becoming a human being with a conscience.
XV
After decades of violence, hostility, abuses, terror, mayhem, sabotage and all because a man wanted to be the tyrant and keep me a slave, I was supposed to according to your judicial system & imbecilic society just swallow it all, do no harm, take no action, sit in silence and endure the ceaseless birth & sustaining powers of male tyranny, evil, destruction, violation of human rights; my rights repeatedly over and over again. That makes me such a virtuous person, to just sit there buried alive having stones thrown at me, metaphorically, being left for dead in the desert to starve or go without, sitting in Hitler's counting house as he uses Jews to make his billions in profits, and so on. Hitler disciples = David Lee Roth & supporters of course. His counting house using human beings as his commodities without the thought of courtesy, legality, or gratitude. Roth has never felt an ounce of gratitude at all to top of the horror of being exploited by him. He had and has no feeling. He feels he had a right to use me, like a piece of flesh on his dinner plate, without an ounce of any feeling, just gluttony, hoarding, gnashing of teeth to fill his insatiable desire for something, something that he was lacking in himself: Spiritual feelings, courtesy, respect, honor, gratitude, and intelligence. He does not have my permission just because he was circumcised or titled a Jew. He is not Jewish in any sense of the real spirituality of Judaism. He doesn't get to rape me in any way.
Well FUCK YOU IF YOU SUPPORT THAT AT ALL! One more of these attacks & I will chop your balls right off your fucking scrotum.
I will tear Roth's nose right off his face if he comes near me again in any illegal attempt to harm me. STAY AWAY BASTARD(S)! With or without a restraining keep away. This is my LAW and I DO HAVE A RIGHT TO MY SAFETY AND WELL BEING!
He did not even think of the repercussions of his acts, the outcomes; nor did he concern himself with the horrors of poverty, lack of medical care, nutrition, or the horrors of of what poverty could do to a human. As far as he was concerned, none of that mattered, because he always had wealth; his father was wealthy and he never lived in want, hunger, without a home, a bed to sleep in, never had to live in a slum or ghetto, knew he always had legal backing from his wealthy pop, and besides: Society has empowered males the day they are born, especially White males, so they simply are born into societal privilege in a society that worships men and denigrates women.
He went to companies I was meeting with, agencies where I was hoping to obtain contracts with and acted with a powerful demeanor as if he was the final word on my career. He went around slandering me and even resorted to abusing his power by forcing an order in court trying to keep me away from public corporations and companies. He did this at Warner Brothers, huge talent agencies, and more. Having my own will was a crime to Roth, for women never have their own desires and will (unless of course it's in the bedroom and only to a certain extent or, what hotdog stand or fast food dump they want to eat at.) I didn't even know my own rights either and was terrified. This is how he wanted me to feel though and yes, I was so terrified, I fell ill and did not know where to turn. Finally a judge said that he had no right to stop me from going to public corporations and agencies for contracts and work. But, at the same time, while being happy having some sort of chance at Agencies, for William Morris was interested at that time, making me fight in court, instead of pursuing my own economic security, was very difficult. I was absolutely terrorized, terrorized by the lies Roth was able to create, and his power or sway over almost everyone. My William Morris deal didn't happen. Roth went to court, complaining I was William Morris as if he owned the place. I was there meeting with someone who had no dealings with Roth and William Morris had no dealing with Roth or contracts.
Roth went again, making up lies and slander and I was once again at court, even without a car, feeling sickened, while Roth acted as if all the entertainment companies belonged to him, were his under his ownership and in his mind I wasn't allowed to do business at any of the corporations. Soon after he did this he then went and changed companies and signed a deal with William Morris. I was so afraid to go there, because I was afraid he would make up another lie about me. I needed an entourage of people to protect me anywhere I went, because if I was alone, even if not, Roth would make up false allegations (a felony crime according to US law) and create a drama that wasn't real.
What normal decent male would want to hinder any woman's success in any great industry? None, that is if any are normal human beings.
I MATTER. MY WORK MATTERS. MY HAPPINESS MATTERS. MY ECONOMIC SECURITY MATTERS. MY HEALTH MATTERS. WHAT I THINK AND HOW I FEEL MATTERS!
I had to place two restraining orders against Roth, but even then he found criminal ways to waggle out, would not stop harassing me with songs, phone calls, and then paid people to harass me, stalk me, and call me with name calling and threats. I even recorded one of his paid employees phone call to me and played it for a detective. His friend said hideous things by phone and then denied it to police, but then the detective played it back so he could not deny what he did or said. But still, the detective did nothing in the way of law, like arrest him or Roth.
Roth's x girlfriend, Susan also stalked me and conned me. She stalked me on the film set where I was filming with Mario Van Peebles and pretended she was a music manager so she could get my information, knowing I was a musician. She recognized me, but I did not recognize her. The calls started from her day in and out. I finally recognized who she was. She would call me and leave hideous messages calling me terrible names. She was panicked and looking for Roth and kept calling me with threats and imbecilic statements. I finally hopped on the phone and simply told her the truth: I am not with Roth, not interested, don't want him around me, so rest assured. She was not really a manager after all. She sounded quite desperate too for he made a fortune out of her then left her with zero dollars and as if she was nothing at all.
He made many millions off of her too, did not have honorous intentions about her life, treated her as his sort of sex slave, gave her no future pertaining to family, security, insurance, fed her up with drugs, and then took off for another muse or empowerer. He conned her with false love and she thought that he making an album for her and about her as she tagged along on tour would secure her future. As soon as the tour was over, it was over with her. She was left with nothing except a hurt soul, a jealous rage, and frantically searching for Roth. I did not want to mock or berate her either, but the scary horrible calls had to end once and for all. I believe she did get a cheap bracelet out of the deal, got to sit in hotel rooms on his bed waiting after the shows and didn't notice how much money he was making off of her at the same time, typically about $ 1 million per evening in a typical concert, which lasted what 45 minutes or an hour? Merchandise and the "lil Suzie" routine song... that went with it. He didn't even bother to leave her $100 grand as a gratuity when he dumped her either, just like that, without any real explanation.
Here was a man who used me like Nazis used the Jews at times or as 19th century plantation owners used their Black slaves, for their wealth, empowerment, fame, and fortunes and he treated me as the victims were treated as well.
At one point, his sister, Lisa, started to harass me as well. A pompous benefactor of his exploits who decided to harass me by somehow ending up down the street to where I lived by stalking me. She would go there daily as if to tell me that all the "profits" were hers and since she knew her brother was in obsession with me, she was afraid she would lose any portion of the benefits of profits which caused her great luxury in her life and a life of ease. I still don't get her cruelty or what she benefited from being evil and cruel realistically, except for luxury, but I believe that helping Roth be the asshole he was kept her obtaining mass amounts of monies instead of him turning normal decent human being or marrying anyone. Turns out she created a huge drama and fabricated lies about me, inciting Roth to make false claims against me. She did her job well lying, fabricating, dramatizing for the sake of her own profit sharing in revenues made from exploiting me through intellectual property: Songs and written verbiage about me, for me, & to profit off of me.
It turns out later, Lisa Roth even resorted to stealing some of my musical ideas and heart of one of my songs: "Rock N Roll Lullaby" years later, which I wrote with my Black co-writer, Justin Tyme who's real name is Ron King. Our partnership and longtime friendship is another historical story with many original songworks written together, stories to tell, and the stage works we did together, including opening Black Radio Exclusive together as the first artists to support this the BRE network when it was so small that barely anyone knew about it or showed up. Years later, BRE & BTE would grow into major networks, but we were there when it was just a baby bud. Justin was a very close and trusted friend at this point and a great talent! Roth was pathologically and insanely jealous of our friendship and felt we had no right to work together. Even though Roth told others that he couldn't care less about me, he was secretly so obsessed with me and so raging jealous, that he did everything in his power to destroy any chances that Justin & I gained any success together. We completed two albums together and worked sporadically after that.
XVI
I do not want to blame Roth's sister completely for his decisions, but know factually, that she played a huge role. She did get her way, although I never ever thought of his money for I only wanted my own and was pursuing a career so I could stamp my name on my own assets. She got to live in the mansion with him, drive the many Mercedes, act like a bigshot, have maids and servants wait on her hand and foot and all this meant much more to her than getting her own life, making her own family, or growing her own relationship. Roth was her entire world and as long as the money flowed all over her, she wasn't about to let anyone near Roth enough or long enough to ever have a tiny ounce of it. I suppose some people may say that David and his sister enjoyed an incestoral relationship and at least an emotionally incestuous type of situation. I never wanted to ever have to answer to a man's terror tactics or be controlled by his wealth or get stuck living in a man's house who was abusive as I had seen other women endure. Her display and behavior told me that his family was aligned in the abuse of girls or women for his profits, profits they could share in. As long as he was making hits and abusing girls and women, audiences seemed to buy. Audiences, who were always mostly males, wanted to be like Roth, were jealous of him, and thought he was the golden boy of what a man was supposed to be. Little did most understand, that he was one of the most despicable, cruel, maladjusted, perverted criminals in the world of rock n roll.
It was almost as if Roth's sister was involved with him sexually, but was or is his sister. I believe there was emotional incest going on for she benefited much in his exploits of me and also benefited by stalking and abusing me. She was his right hand woman, lived with him, so any woman in his life must have been a threat to her power on his throne or over his estate. She made a false allegation against me one day to rid me after Roth made a huge fortune from me. They had just made a huge fortune doing the album in Spanish and English based on me, exploiting me in con manner fashion and Lisa was living it up in luxury, adulation, and fame as his sort of "woman". She enjoyed the proceeds and attentions. I still wonder if he raped her as a little girl and if they really had something really going, sexually, but leave it at that. Here she was spying on me, moved in on my block knowing I was living there, stalking me, and that was ok with her and Roth. Spying on me, was part of a routine Roth was used to enjoying.
I was a threat though to her ancestral attachment to her brother as well as to her only woman in Roth's life and house aspect. I was brutalized and harmed because of her as well and like Evita Peron who was Hitler's right hand woman and who profited greatly from the Holocaust, Roth's sister did so as well. I would hunch that she terrorized and scared a good number of good women away from the household so she could keep her claws on the money made exploiting these girls and women. She didn't think twice about what was right or wrong, as long as she kept her hands on the money, enjoyed the benefits of living it up in mansions driving Mercedes Benz, getting her nails and hair done, having maids and servants, being fed on her whims, and luxuriating at the cost of women's well being and lives, and that of children as well.
She told me many horrific things to hurt me. She could abuse and help him torture me after using me as their slave. I felt like Hitler's little Jewish slave girl who had been robbed of my every right, my every legal recourse, every dollar and had to watch his two pompous Aryan family members, live it up with all the floating luxuries one could gain by robbing, exploiting, trampling on the civil and human rights of others could bring.
I suffered so much horror, violence, mayhem, and evil by the Roth family, it's a wonder as to why law enforcement and the law itself would or could allow such evil and mayhem. I was so innocent, I thought most people were just good people, would never resort to felony crimes, would never resort to threats of murder and such violence. I was wrong. My smile and naive trust in people diminished greatly. Sadness and grief wore and bore into me. Terror was an everyday experience. Daily, Roth would threaten me somehow or another, threaten my life, make hateful calls to me on the phone, have his hateful paid friends call me with threats and hate spews, or commit violence upon me. He was afraid I would tell everyone about his pedophilia, but then, society wasn't as prone to take any action in this respect. Raping girls or women was maybe an issue, but it was not considered a real issue of great importance. Men did these acts everyday and most got away with the crimes. Husbands, dates, and boyfriends ritually raped girls and women and there weren't barely any laws nor anyone who would uphold the laws barring rape or prosecuting it. Male profits were the main importance, war, especially if war meant profits, and empowering male rock stars or any other male profiteering type was a national purpose.
Rape and violence was highly typical and police did not take the issue of male perpetrated violence seriously. In the 1970s, a law was finally passed which stated that husbands could no longer rape their wives legally and a law was created outlawing date rape. This is now common knowledge. Although, my situations happened later, these laws were still fairly unknown and new and a male dominated national police force still upheld violence and crimes against girls and women. The CIA's MKultra experiments were still in full force and even when President Ford made a law against human experimentation, it would take a decade for his laws to start taking effect. Don't forget the CIA had run the illegal experiments into the 90s inside America in a secretive fashion, even after President Ford outlawed the MK experiments and their experiments enforced a rule that raping children and women was fine and ok by rule of law.
The CIA were the big law in the country, even bigger than any court house law. Everyone was afraid of the CIA, no would would take them on barely, no one would place real oversight on them; they were like a huge gang of outlaws who did anything they wanted, when they wanted, and never mind ethics. They saw themselves as more powerful than politicians & disrespected Presidents or just about everyone. They perpetrated extreme mind control crimes, which ruined families, lives, caused illness, addiction, hostility, and subjugated girls and women.
I DO MATTER! MY WELL BEING MATTERS! MY RIGHTS MATTER!
XVII
Let's look at this way: Let's say you have a 1-2 year old child in your room. You hate this child and wish this child bad thoughts. You do things so the child does not obtain nourishment, has no affection or encouragement, has no toys and no smiles. You prevent this child from learning. You prevent this child from experiencing warmth, hugs, and as the child grows, you don't allow the child the freedom to learn about any outside recourse. Instead, you force drugs into this child and feed her lots of doses of LSD. Then you strangle and threaten the child trying to exert force and control. You use various tactics to turn the child into your personal robot to do your bidding without ethics or oversight. The child may harm his or herself or fall down as well. You simply hate and want this child to hurt themselves or suffer sickness or maybe even death. You think this night and day and treat this child with this evil daily. How do you think this child will survive? How do you think this child will grow up or will this child grow up at all or make it?
The CIA did this to women and children repeatedly and daily. Add all sorts of drugs they manufactured and massive crimes and you'll get the picture. They did this to the poor, minorities mostly, such as Jews, Black people, or Hispanics. We were their guinea pigs. They wanted to control other countries and used millions of guinea pigs, Americans, who never suspected that their own government would or could resort to such mayhem. People believe cause they pay their own government, that the US government is the law, whether right or wrong, that it won't happen to them, that the government likes or liked them. This was not so. Many White Christians will think: "So what, it's only them they did this to." But, this is not so! Millions upon millions of White Christians were affected by the CIA's criminal madness, it's violation of Nuremberg codes, it's lack of ethics, and it's quest for power and control over every organization, every court, every school, every University, every politician, and every level of economic controls.
CIA shame is still controlling large segments of society, whereas, the perpetrators who took part in the massive crimes do not want Americans to know what happened to their uncles, their brothers, their mothers, their husbands, their wives, their children, their grandfathers, their grandmothers, and so on and so on. They tried to hide it by destroying countless millions of documents involving the MK experiments. This took place in 1973 when the Rockefeller Commission took them on and Congress became involved. They quickly destroyed evidence of their massive crimes and I believe they even destroyed people who knew of them. The government still feels shame that it wants to hide from the public. Government entities thought that since these were government officials and had a stamp of "government", that their decades of crimes were ok and could be swept under a rug.
The shame and crimes of the CIA should be taught in all schools so that these crimes never happen again, but colleges and Universities and most professors know nothing about the illegal experiments. Lawyers are afraid to take on the CIA, and most lawyers or politicians who even hear the word, "CIA" don't want to troubleshoot problems, believing that the CIA is all powerful. Remember, the CIA and FBI assassinated Martin Luther King Jr. and the Kennedys. Politicians believe that the CIA can do the same to them, so they won't rock the boat. The only politicians to rock the boat were President Ford and President Clinton. Clinton helped ran a public trial but only brought some justice to two victims of the MKultra experiments. This in itself was courageous, but for god's sake only two victims? There were many millions of victims, including children. Where is justice for everyone involved?
I had worked for President Ford after he was no longer president when I worked for the biggest caterer in California. I was scrutinized, trained, and did everything from cook, wash dishes, make up fantastic designer tables, arrange flowers, build designer cookie mountains, hostess and talk to guests, and of course work alongside guess who: The CIA and FBI who I was carefully chosen for as a trusted employee to serve, cook, and slave for famous politicians, the wealthiest people in the world, and the biggest celebrities. I knew what to do in case something went afoul and no one would understand that a 14 year old teen was trained as hard or harder than any FBI or CIA officer. They actually tortured me and tested me in ways that I do not choose to relay here. The fact remained: The men in American society felt highly empowered by the CIA and felt empowered to commit more crimes against girls and women. Since the CIA could do these crimes, most men without conscience felt they could as well and no legal unit could do anything about their crimes.
I barely was paid anything but Frank Sinatra one day came into the kitchen where I was cooking and gave me a hundred dollars. He was probably the most generous of all the celebrities I had served. I will never forget his blue eyes and kindness and the warmth of his wife, Barbara. We would work sometimes 16 hours at a time, and still I only came out with minimum pay.
It was a heavy duty job and they used me as child labor for I started this job when only 14 years old. By 18 years old, I left that aspect. I wanted to play music, make films, and did not want to be a slave at all any longer. While I should have been learning at school, encouraged to any real career, I was busy working jobs as a child slave, barely paid anything and by haughty arrogant adults.
I mention the CIA at this time, because society inside America within itself was empowered by male dominance and hostility at the highest levels. Since the police could not arrest and bring to justice CIA members, which were many thousands of them; how could they arrest and bring justice to any male perpetrators, whether pimps, drug pushers, military, etc . . . etc . . . etc . . .
EVEN IF NEWS JOURNALISTS (MOSTLY MEN) DON'T FEEL MY LIFE MATTERS--MY LIFE MATTERS! YOU WILL NOT USE JOURNALISTIC OPPRESSIVE TACTICS TO SQUELCH MY RIGHTS ANY LONGER.
Roth attempted this CIA related tactic on me, year after year, day after day and even until this day is threatening me, trying to distract me from focusing on positive moves to improve my life, is obsessed with me and I am the only female thus far who has been courageous enough to bring these facts into the public conscious. It has become part of my mission to free other girls and women from the same plight as well. I cannot bar boys or men, but let's not pretend that there is not a huge societal issue concerning girls and women. Look at every statistic in crime, economic security, courts, and in all or most businesses. The scales are all dipped in man's favor and not without sabotage, mayhem, crimes, and rape that caused the dip.
There is more to this story and experience, including outright theft of my property, stealing my costume designs, making false allegations in court to oppress my productions and the list goes on. I will talk about it in another blog.
REPEAT: At one point, when I was working on a Black Civil Rights production with a crew and team of Civil Rights artists and workers, and living with them, Roth attacked me in one of the worse ways: He falsely accused me in court and tried to lock me up based on false allegations. He attempted to ruin our production and knew all about it. He felt I had no right to date and I did. He felt I had no right rising up in entertainment and with this production I did. He felt I had no right to my voice and my sense of self and I had so. He assaulted me, and hired two mafia thugs to help him. They caused me trauma and harm to serious levels. He thought he controlled American courts and the court system would support his crimes too just because he willed it. At one point, he even wanted me to pay for his legal fees to commit his crimes. Knowing I was extremely poor and impoverished and out of sadistic mayhem and pleasure, he demanded and told a judge that he wants me to pay him thousand of dollars. He actually believed he had a right to do this; but, yet again, the judge looked at him with a sort of mockery as if to say: "You have got to be kidding"! The judge denied him this and also realized that Roth was playing him.
At the same time, Judge Reuben patronized him, let him off on major felonies and silenced me.
The evils were quite horrible: Here Roth was who made a huge fortune over me and from me, who took advantage of me in every way he could, who used me as a muse for his fame and fortune, and who would potentially have luxury and wealth the rest of his life from. This did not satisfy his ruthless leanings though. He had to make certain that I couldn't eat a normal nutritional diet, did not have a place to live, had no assets nor monies to my name, and wanted more than the last dime in my name. He continued to threaten me economically for years to come.
For many years, Roth hindered my Economic success. He was afraid I'd make monies; Monies purchases justice and lawyers; yes, even judges. Money convinces entire segments of society and can purchase society actually. He would try to hinder my earning power, my productions, everything all so I wouldn't earn the monies I needed to live a solid, happy, successful life. Yes, he did this and with the help of everyone who lauded Roth, who supported his overall criminal views concerning women and children, mostly girls. It's the god awful reality.
XVIII
I MATTER. WHO I AM MATTERS. THE FACT THAT I AM A WOMAN WITH EXTREME TALENT, A VOICE, INTELLIGENCE, AND SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ART, DANCES, AND SONGS IN THE WORLD MATTERS!!!! My earning power matters. MY WORK IS WORTH MONEY. I HAVE TO GET PAID FOR ANY WORK I DO. I DO NOT WORK FOR FREE. I DESERVE ECONOMIC SECURITY, HAVE EARNED IT, and WILL GET PAID FOR WHATEVER WORK I DO. I GET HIRED, DO CONTRACTS, AND NO ONE DARES ATTEMPT TO DISRESPECT MY NEED FOR ECONOMIC SATISFACTION---EVER. NEVER AGAIN!!!
He became envious and jealous again when I started a store online to sell small items. He was enraged and went into insanity. He threatened me with "futures" that is, if I was to earn anything, he would try to sue me for those earnings. He sat on maybe 150 million or more, but was not satisfied if I had a hundred dollars. There were too many who supported him in the industry as well. It was like this psychic silent agreement that constituted male crimes and male empowerment. If they could do it to one, they could do it to anyone, they felt.
Since I did not have trustworthy & ethical lawyers during those times to press lawsuits and would not want unethical types either, and all I have is the truth and my life story, so be it: the truth is what I will discuss. The interesting phenomenon is that Roth is your typical type of ruthless criminal insane bastard who would walk all over and did walk all over me just for being poor or not being able to purchase justice. He would be one of the first to take advantage of a person's vulnerability, knowing the big White money can usually cause a judge, lawyer, or commissioner to break laws, and deprive justice to the meek. He understands this underhanded philosophy and with no rational ideals or upstanding integrity, he would trample (if he could) on any of his victims pleas for justice. He did this to me in a criminal manner.
The other issue and truth is: I'M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE and will speak out and tell the truth either way. Since the Truth is all I have left in life to tell, than so be it. Roth reminds me of Hitler and his 3rd Reich honestly, the way he handled himself all those years. It does not bring much closure, but allows me some sort of voice of honesty, reason, and creates a sense of justice for me to be heard somehow, even though Roth should have been in prison for all the dope, pedophile crimes, rapes, assaults, and sending others out to fetch his drugs, and he should have been prevented from hindering my career. He ruined many years of my career and life and the trauma at times has been fairly intense. I have felt so much remorse at having fell victim to Roth and the many others sex criminals; and, the misogyny and hatred that has lived inside the music industry.
He can pay endlessly to promote stories about himself and outright lie to people as I have seen. For instance, he paid his PR man to blitzkrieg the public telling the public he was the best singer and made more money than any other recording artist. He just cons people this way. Then, he made up another story that his Japanese girlfriend was showing his baby bump. These are all made up lies to con people and I don't even need to understand why he lies but the main issue is: HE LIES A LOT! I will and could never trust a single word that Roth uttered or utters, whether through the press, what he tells acquaintances, or what he said to me by telephone or in person. Roth is a lie addict and gets some sort of pleasure out of deceiving and lying to people. There are more lies that I have not discussed here. Then there are his crimes committed inside a court of law. People DO NOT do those crimes all the time: Roth did!
I MATTER! MY TALENTS MATTERED AND MATTER. HOW I FEEL TODAY MATTERS. MEN LIKE PORTNOW NO LONGER MATTER IN SOCIETY. THEY REPRESENT NOTHING OF ANY BENEFIT TO ANYONE!
Not last, and not least is the President of NARAS, Neil Portnow, another horrific sex abuser who prevented me from having a career. NARAS stands for the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences and heads up the Grammy Awards. I had met with Mr. Portnow while he was the head A&R executive at Geffen Records on Sunset Blvd. At that time I had worked umpteen small jobs to afford to produce some albums and was called into his office after sending out samples of my product to all labels. I had worked all days into the evenings to be able to produce my own songs and albums. Portnow did not treat me with respect. I was desperate to get to work, to make my life economically sufficient and secure, to take care of those I loved, to pay back debts and get out of the ghetto situation with rats I was living in. Instead of offering me a music contract Portnow told me that I had to go to his house to "suck" on his something or another. Basically, he wanted to humiliate me instead and make me his sexual concubine instead without any sort of rational thought and consideration for my rights; tied to his whims and lusts at his house.
My career was not on his mind; to Portnow I was "just" a female who was a second-class citizen, had no rights to succeed, whose economic security and profits did not matter; I was just someone who was born to suck his dick or dote on his lusts and please his every whim; only the male business men and/or musicians mattered. To Portnow, I had no rights to a career, to be heard, to sing my songs, to write my songs, to perform and use my learned talents I gained through many years of studies starting with the piano and music lessons my mother gave me as a small child, the dance lessons my mother gave me growing up, the singing lessons I paid for growing up. None of that mattered to Portnow. You could be a dirty drugged up violent criminal off the streets who wanted a record deal and if you were a man that was ok. If you never studied music lessons or voice and just had an urge to be a big ballsy rock star spewing out various spitballs or hateful slogans demeaning women, that meant you could be a big star for the music industry. But me, being a young woman who had studied all her life to make a career of it, who's mother worked and sacrificed to help her daughter know happiness and freedom through the arts just did not make a dent in Portnow's thinking. To Portnow, I was more a possession, and since a woman I was to be someone's sex slave to empower their wealth--not my own. To Portnow, the only option for MY life was to become his personal sex slave, bound to his home and whims, with no name of my own and NO CAREER. His desire for a personal prostitute who would not charge up front monies was quite prevalent. All these males at the music industry offices loved the idea of having a whore without having to pay. I'd have to sit in the background somewhere, unknown, desperate enough to become a prostitute, denying my own truth and feelings for the sake of Portnow's lusts instead.
He looked down at me for I was smaller than he was, expecting me to answer him about becoming his personal sex slave instead. Here I was with a CD that cost years of labor, whereas, so many people were involved, costing much money and work, many music videos, which I was in debt for, and cast and crews waiting for something to happen for them as well, concerning these music videos and here was Portnow: So pompous, unthoughtful, unintelligent, belligerent, indifferent, arrogant, and disgustingly sick in his strategy, that until this day he still feels he had a right to behave and treat me as he did.
I was so traumatized and horrified. I wasn't about to sleep with a man, first of all who I did not like nor felt attracted to, especially a man who would treat me like a discardable piece of meat on his plate. I was not there to have a relationship in a sexual or humiliating manner with Neil Portnow. I was there in the corporate office to obtain a record deal only, to do business, to earn profits, to create great hits, to get creative, to know my freedom as an artist, to reach my higher excellence, to play and create music, and to sing. I loved to sing and was usually very good at it. I loved music. I loved dancing. I loved choreography and music videos. I still remember every moment of meeting with Neil Portnow and how he looked down upon me in his pomposity, viewed me as a sex slave instead, undermined all I had worked for, and perpetrated his arrogance with such a cold bigoted hatred of me for being female and such a despicable and shameful lack of ethics or intelligence, that I do believe, that he would have stepped on me physically if it had not been for some sort of laws that may have supported my rights to not have his foot in my head.
Portnow harassed for me years afterwards as well demeaning my products and being the typical ignoramus misogynist he was and is. Portnow sent me communications in the mail for over ten years after he met me, demeaning ideologies and suggestions, simply telling me that I was not good enough, because I did not bow at his genital area the time we met up over at Geffen Records. I heard Geffen Records though had many other problems with sexual abuse and assaults on women employees there too recently.
My issue is this: What is a man such as Portnow doing as the head of NARAS? How can a corrupt unethical sex abuser and criminal type head up an industry and bring it any real respect or ethics? He can't, that is how.
Pornow can now sniff the soft White Roses at the Grammy Awards & still parade around as its chief and leader, even after he abused and violated my rights. As long as Pornow still runs the Grammy Awards and is a leader in the music industry it WILL NOT CHANGE! Real change is telling Portnow to get out and now. He has no remorse, has made no apology and still feels that he a right to deprive me my career, abuse me sexually, deprive me my human rights and then show off to the world HOW POWERFUL HE IS AND HOW HE CAN GET OFF THE HOOK AND GET AWAY WITH IT. I still recall, year after year, how Neil Portnow abused and harassed me at various places I lived and how he tried to control me so I would never succeed in my music career.
By the time I made my sixth album, he was still sending me paraphernalia and harassment to berate and abuse me. He just would not let up. It didn't matter to him, that I had sunk every dime into my productions, had already studied music most of my life, had private education and scholarships under my belt, nor concerned himself with my need to earn a living, pay off debts, take care of others, or live in habitable conditions with financial security. You see, it did not matter in Neil Portnow's view that male musicians just wanted it, even without any music education, training, and so forth; this was fine with him. He thought this his ideas about life were the only ideas that were valid. Even engineers could be self taught. But with women, if you engineered, sung, played an instrument, were excellent at business or could lead in any music area, you meant nothing; you were secondary and not worthwhile, and were not even on any list of choices.If you were clean and did not involve yourself with drugs it didn't matter either. If a woman, well it was futile with Portnow and his followers or patronizers.
If Portnow wants to finally speak up for women's rights at all: He needs to discuss first what he did to me, the years of harassment and negation of my talents, my productions, my music videos, my albums, my stage performances, my scholarships, my training, and so forth. He cannot discuss any female industry icon's rights without first humbling himself and admitting what he did to me and how that affected me. He violated my civil rights, my human rights, and was a criminal, in my view, with his male supremacist ideologies.
Women and girls and the music industry will continue to patronize him and are kidding and fooling themselves if they think they really believe in rights for girls and women, other than themselves.
They still will walk on the Grammy Stage catering to male chauvinist, Neil Portnow's crimes against womankind, his crimes against the music industry, his discrimination against women, and act cavalier as if nothing ever happened, although I read recently that women artists, such as Pink have also stood against Neil Portnow and his pompous of half-hearted mockery of talented women in music. You can walk the walk and talk the talk or say you care: Women show it through action and tell Portnow you don't want a supremacist sexual abuser and oppressor of women leading your own industry!
I am certain that Portnow as well as most of the music industry's corporations have turn down scores of women employees (except for some secretaries in low paying positions). I know, because I worked for awhile at MCA and Universal and only as a very low paid desk worker. All the positions of power were given to males, whether in the music publishing department, the video production department, the A&R department, the tours department, and the the film product placement department. I worked in many departments and saw this first hand. I finally had to quit: I was so bored and forced to sit at a desk hours on end with no rights to creative input, most of the time in silence, getting paid next to nothing with not a single kind person to talk to, that I would not have claimed that as a job at all; it was a form of torture. It was humiliation and undermined my assets and my gifts. The job demeaned me as a woman, It demeaned and undermined my intelligence.
No one there was kind to me nor grateful for me being there. I was treated as a discardable with no name. They even complained about the skirts I wore and wanted to me to dress differently, even though I wore the latest fashion. I was not supposed to be noticed, not to feel joy, and as long as I was miserable they were happy.
The fact remains and I'm very angry: ALL POWER POSITIONS AND THOSE WITH ANY FINANCIAL FEASIBILITY, WERE HELD BY MALES at MCA and Universal.
At least at ASCAP, the President treated me with a bit more kindness (at first) and I had more to do, which challenged my sense of intelligence. I was to review all royalty accounting daily and go over whether artists were being collected for. Sometimes, recording artist's music were being used and a facility was not paying for the licensing rights to use their music. Even elevators who played music were supposed to be a fee for the right to use an artist's music. It is a huge industry filled with ins and outs.
I was put to work at another job: Reviewing all the accounting for the Columbia Record Club. I had to go over massive monetary sheets of income and profit sharing. This was a huge job, but temporary. The biggest earning artists were the ones I was to review. Their profits were distributed and subdivided. I had to manually go over everything without the use of a computer. For some reason the company wanted everything checked over and re added or subtracted on a ten key punch, instead of a computer. I did all the re accounting manually. Every number and profit was checked, re-checked, and checked again. By time I got out of my job each day counting numbers, I felt a bit like a zombie and all I could see were numbers when walking out. I was given my own office and stayed there all day, daily, until everything was checked or re checked. I worked for the higher ups, or accountants. Everyone checked each other's work at this point to ensure every number was right. At that point the biggest selling artists were all males. This was a very low paying job as well. I could not seem to make enough to retain a trustworthy ethical lawyer, purchase a vehicle, buy a house, and could barely afford to rent a small dump.
I then went to work part time by a man who started an entertainment management company. I actually liked him a lot and even though I was not paid very well, I wanted to help him, because he was good, honest, sincere person. I helped him do much, from creating entertainment related directories, to graphic arts, to editing, and conducting interviews of mega celebrities in music. He also helped me produce songs of my band, got me into a renown studio, helped me do band shows on stage and he tried to start a small record label for me, but he did not have the funds to do radio promotion, PR, and distribution.
For a time, I worked cleaning too: I cleaned offices with him in large buildings. I was very clean and trustworthy and a good worker, but he hired this male who decided to be dishonest one day and robbed an office of cash left in a drawer. They started to accuse us all at that point and it looked like the man's company was ruined, but they had hidden cameras and discovered the real culprit. Just the same, the man who owned this company closed it up, he lost a large contract, and was so disheartened by being deceived by someone he trusted. It was such a horrible feeling being falsely accused though. What if they had no hidden cameras?
XIX
Just the same, I was stuck doing menial low paying insecure jobs, even though I had so much talent and they were not consistent enough to feed myself or rent an appropriate place to live. This happened to countless females with talent year after year, decade after decade, for time immemorial. Female gifts and talents did not count at all and did not matter mostly, only rarely, and male anything was lauded, empowered, and put on some sort of false throne mostly. The more angry or hateful a male artist was, sometimes, the more worship and profits they gained with the support of the record labels.
I did have a deal with another management company in New York soon: Stan Scotland management who had booked some of the biggest attractions. He tried to get me a deal as third opening act with Ozzy Osbourne and Lita Ford. He secured me $50k at that point for our performance and I was really grateful. I thought finally: WORK! I did not need a record deal at all to get paid to perform. But, then the news came out that Ozzy had beat up Sharon, his wife, and was causing mayhem, and the show was canceled. That was it and that was that. No job after all.
I have come to the conclusion that as long as Pornow leads or anyone with a factual misogynistic discriminatory history as he has, there will be a fascist music radio in America that plays mostly male musicians with male voices and only token female musicians and artists. As long as Portnow leads, profits will mostly benefit men while leaving women out of executive positions and women will be kept out of good jobs, whether producers, engineers, assistants, major record label executive positions, and so forth. Of course, you can maybe find a token female in any position but that is like finding a rare large diamond in the desert in California. THIS IS NO OK nor is it fair and equitable.
If you believe this blog is boring or lengthy, you should realize how we feel about national radio, about the lopsided imbalance and lack of scrutiny within the music and entertainment businesses, about being forced fed male chauvinist radio daily, or having to watch award shows that humor, applaud, and uphold male chauvinism, while depriving women equal pay, equal work force, equality, and courtesy. Now this in itself will show you how boring life can get.
The other issue is, is that overall and generally, man has placed girls and women in the Gladiator pit somewhat: It's a game they play while they have perpetrated cruel and evil treatment and crimes against women. They cause women to feel that there is only one or two spots (if at all) for women and cause women to fight for it. They pit women against women, woman against woman, like gangs pit against each other for dominance. A woman in a position amongst a majority of males may feel that she can lose her position at any moment, especially if she empowers other females. We all know that the men will NOT allow this and would find a way to rid of her if she dares to speak out for other women, dares to hire many other women, dares to economically secure the futures of any women, or has a self-confidence that equals the men.
This about this phenomenon in the U.S. by itself: Why, even if a woman runs for president, does she have to choose a male vice president to be accepted at all as an incumbent? Why are female incumbents thought of as worthy have to carry a male alongside them for any ticket? Most male incumbents never did this and most of the time, they also choose a male vice president, which seems acceptable. Are we that barbaric, unethical, unfair, and unworthy as a nation of people to view human rights so insensibly, so misguided, so illegally, and so discriminatory, and so highly uneducated that we cannot just be reasonable, thoughtful, logical, and fair-minded people?
The consensus of male executives goes like this: "It is OUR money and we'll do whatever the hell we want with our money and we don't want to empower women and do not want women running any business, let alone ours--we'd prefer doting beautiful wives who stay at home, are never heard from, breed our males to carry our names, and who we can control, because we control the money. Oh, and don't forget about bearing us a son, because sons are more worthy than females born." This ideal is not so for everyone, but is an overall basic sort of philosophy born and bred throughout history.
I have a horror in my memories of Neil Portnow abusing his power and expecting me to just swallow his abuses. He paraded around as some big shot and no women were allowed to want, need, or be anything! This was Neil Portnow! Portnow is equivalent to a male fascist misogynistic bastard who runs an industry while deceiving every precept and ounce of fairness or morality through his "Prick Power" position. He is pompous, only uses a small portion of his mind, still stands behind male supremacy and empowerment, and there is nothing anyone can do, but force him to resign, fire him, and take legal action against him. He is nothing to be proud of nor anyone worth admiring. His position is symbolic of male misogyny, abuses against girls and women, oppression and suppression towards girls and women, and he blatantly is open about it in a pompous manner. Being proud of a statue backed by Pornow is like being proud of "Slavery", "Supremacy", "Rape", "Misogyny", "Oppression of girls and women", "Forcing women into poverty and despair", "crimes against girls and women".
Women know their worth and the hard work put into their careers, lives, and talents. That is a reward within itself. You can't wave a golden calf above my head and tell me it has any meaning at all or any real sense of value, when the one waving it is someone, such as Neil Portnow, Hitler, Hussein, fascist rapists, Charles Manson, and many more.
Neil Portnow helped destroy my career, kept me in dire poverty and need, forced me to live in a worse than ghetto situations, and silenced me through poverty while abusing the power of his position. But know this: He will never hinder the TRUTH, take away my dignity and my goodness, nor my talents, and he will have to live with the truths of himself, which I don't find to be rewarding or honorous at all. I have a light within me that is lighter than many and I also have a power that surpasses some for the good of others and not made for the deprivation, terror, and oppression of girls and women.
I am not ashamed to write or speak out anymore.
Men like Portnow are a cheap penny per dozen: It's time for a real solid and good change for the future of the music industry where girls and women are no longer tokens, where males don't rule supreme and where I don't have to consistently listen to the denigration of girls and women.
Take your White Rose thorns and send Portnow & others a real message instead because that is all he deserves. I will admit that thorns are not enough to set the path of gender discrimination on the right course, for in the music business there are only token women, racism and discrimination against Jewish musicians and singers, and Jewish men who are in executive positions of power who also demean or denigrate Jewish female singers and musicians as well. Judaism has much to learn: In its extreme women's singing voices are illegal, but men's singing voices are legal; rarely do we see women who speak or their ideas are important; and girls and women are typically expected to sacrifice all for the men's economic security, while depriving themselves any real power.
Girls are hauled in to music executive offices like cows for slaughter, so executives can perpetrate various crimes against them--not necessarily for business purposes.
Roses are far too beautiful and soft to disway the crimes perpetrated by certain men, including Portnow, who has made no real amends and has denied me justice in the matter.
There were more horrors within the music industry: Michael Ostin, Mo Ostin's son who was head of A&R for awhile at Atlantic Records. After I produced my own albums, worked in many major studies (some who earned a wall of Platinum records); filmed and produced my own accompanying music videos filled with casts of great talents, from dancers, actors, above the line assistants, and fashion designers and who many of which volunteered and signed speculation contracts and worked without outright pay, Michael Ostin called me up for a meeting at his private record label office. I traveled all the way to meet with him. The same scenario took place: Instead of seeing the economic worth of my artistry and productions, he started to talk about how he would like to see me in a bikini. He completely negated all my hard laborious works and the works of my teams of talent. Since there were a lot less women on the charts in those days and only rare token women, he knew he had great power and would stand out if he offered a contract to a female musician. Instead, he berated me, hurt my feelings, completely steered the conversation away from business, profits, and charting on the music charts and sexually harassed me instead. I remember leaving empty handed, stuck in the same grief-filled scenario so many label executives had caused me, and of course, still in poverty.
There were the music publication journalists who expected me to do them "sex favors" for magazine publishing & stories; but, stories about me circulated in European music industry publications either way, without meeting any of them and they were supportive and good. Their behavior told me that they expected me immediately to bow and bend to their ideology that I had to play subservient sex slave for them to write a story about me. Like I mentioned, it was the male consensus; whereas, many males agreed on this strategy as to how to treat women. There was no flowers, no perfume or gifts, no romantic invitations to have lunch or dinner, no invitation to walk in the park together, talk and get to know each other; it was just here is my dick, bow to me, and suck me off. In America, there was a huge problem with any man's idea of power and males abused women at almost every level of the industry, if they could, and would trample on any woman's sense of confidence, any sense of self-respect she had, would humiliate her and berate her and just for being female. I know, because they did it to me. Male A&R executives were notorious for only allowing a one-hit wonder for any woman music recording artist of choice, for two hits or more would mean she was "too powerful" so they would bring her down and trample on her. They did this to famous female recording artists. I am a witness at Interscope Record's head A&R executive stating that he would destroy the only one-hit female wonder they had. He had animosity and hatred for her and his voice dictated that he had the power. Soon after, I never heard from her again.
On top of this was the barbaric violent Anthony Kiedis who was not yet famous and he was addicted to heroin. He assaulted me for simply trying to film my music video and destroyed my video, set, and then threatened my life. He was jealous that I was filming at all and ran out like some sort of wild maniac destroying everything in his path. In his mind, I had no right to make a music video or documentary and enjoy my life because only he had that right (in his mind) so he destroyed my filming and some of my life to prove his power and point. I ended up in the hospital with an injury quite difficult, which never really healed, but then he comes out with a song about it and gets very famous. Later, he painted me topless, without my consent for an album as well, still seeking to humiliate and keep me under male power duress. The strange thing is that fans adored his charade of abuse and empowered his abuses, including scores of females.
Let's also keep in mind that our educational systems are all wrong. They force students to learn early in education that males are more important and take precedence. They make students read the "classics" and of course all or most of the "classics" are written by men. They force students to study philosophies that are all or 99% written by men. What if a woman created a philosophy instead? Almost every science or realm of education applauds male achievements as contributors to the sciences. Even math achievements were supposedly created by men, for we know even if a woman invented a new mathematical formula, it would be stolen by a man and his name would be put on it instead; either that, or they would never give her credit officially, such as in textbooks or history books. They put their names on achievements by women throughout history like they stick their names on women they marry, as if her name is not good enough. Women were not allowed to become doctors, artists, mathematicians, astronomers, sculptures, or philosophers throughout most of world history, including during Ancient Greece who is credited with "democracy" but no woman ever stood out as anything in Ancient Greece. This sort of democracy lauded only males, from athletes to scientists. Often in marriage, it is a matter of ownership actually, I feel, for his name on my person may mean ownership and have nothing to do with love or equality.
Marrying sometimes relates to becoming a piece of the man's chattel, like a lamp, a couch, or his assets. You don't use your name you grew up with and have to forget your name as you somehow had to forget your dreams, your career, or what you dreamt becoming growing up. I dreamt of being a veterinarian, a singer, a film star, having enough money to take care of many children with or without a man, and I dreamt of helping my family out economically. What if men were compelled and taught they had to give up their names to have a marriage and were to become part of a woman's chattel instead and had to dote, agree, and cater to her every whim or thought instead? What if men were considered the beings who had to forget their goals, dreams, energy, yearnings, and change all the diapers, clean the floors, dust the furniture, and never have any money of their own?
Society has taught you that women don't make the big decisions, don't have the stamina or strength to lead, are second-class citizens, are irrelevant mostly in the business world, and are mostly just born to breed and to cater and dote on men. In our language and throughout our written literature, they use words that denigrate women and uphold the rights of men. For instance, the word, "mankind" is used repeatedly to represent human beings. This word tells us that only mankind takes precedence. What about humankind or womankind? How would millions of men feel if they were called "womankind" and had to somehow align with the idea that they are considered part of womankind? We are not mankind as women and know intuitively, that this word alone keeps us out the the dialogue, out of any constitutional rights system, and out of the economic empowerment system.
I MATTER. MY FINANCIAL NEEDS MATTER. MY GOALS MATTER. I DON'T HAVE TO NOR WANT TO PLAY SOCIETY'S MARTYR FOR THE MISOGYNISTIC CAUSE ANY LONGER.
The misogynistic ideology pervades almost every segment of society today, from 1st grade on into colleges. Everything needs to be changed: Our list of literature for classes, credits, laws, policies, and our ideas about sports and what is great. This is going to take some time though and may take generations and increased education, dialogue, art, and analysis to make things right. Teaching girls and women about their own rights may also pose a difficult situation, for family units teach their young girls that man is the boss, she comes second if next to a brother, his education is more worthy than hers, and she belongs in the kitchen or cleaning his dirt. Then you have various religions, which all make man in "god's image" and that leaves women out of the imagery. Religious families or society empower males based on most religions of today, unfortunately. Religion dictates in a metaphorical and outright way: Only man can win great wars; only man can heal or do god's will; only the man in the family can be blessed; only the father makes the decisions; women are secondary to the great men; only men can be worshipped or male images of god; only man can lead a great number of people; and on and on, 'til the break of dawn.
There is the "Adam's rib" story, whereas, a literature myth artist made up a story about a woman being born out of man's rib, then blamed this woman (Eve) for being at fault for his so-called "sin" of eating the apple, as if he did not have any choice in the matter or responsibility to make any realistic or good decision. This story and made-up myth, reveals that man did not know how to make a decision for himself or others, used scapegoating for his own decision-making, and it's likely that Adam picked his own apple, yet wanted to pass the blame towards his mate instead when placed under God's judgment.
What really may have happened, which caused the myth writer to invent a story to pass the blame is that Adam raped Eve and then blamed her for his actions. If he had really learned about the difference between good and evil, he wouldn't have raped her. He never ate the apple in all actuality, because he would have known that it was wrong. The real tree of knowledge would have easily taught Adam that he did not need to rape. He would have known that he had a choice in life and would have weighed his choices. And, he would have never invented the snake story, which is symbolic for his penis and abusing his power; whether through power of size, power through strength, and power through myth inventions and literature.
XX
The story in itself really proves that it was a work of a story-teller and literature writer: Nothing more. This story was not invented by any such Gd, was not invented by any holy Saint, was not transcribed by any person from Gd, and was a symbol misogynistic piece of literature to cause generations of men to oppress women and deprive them humanity, our rights, and to strip of us real education--and I'm not referring to male-orientated education taught in 99% of colleges and Universities; the education that teaches girls and women to become second-class citizens, to swallow a lot of male written bullshit, put up with raping professors (as I did when I was a teenager in college), to laud and praise men's achievements, yet deny their own and each other, to believe that only man could create science, history, math, philosophy, and laws, and so forth. The people who make the GE requirements in colleges are usually men and they require that any women attending colleges have to endure and tolerate a barrage of male created classes that worship males only--not women.
It's a long far way to balance the scales, but balancing the scales would cause much progress in the world and a better higher ethic overall.
You can't force women to endure the constant oppression forever. All your male psychologists from the pervert Freud to your scientists who claimed that women were the lesser sex are and were wrong. The times are a changin'.
There was a time I didn't know I had every right to NOT be abused. I had no real recourse, had to live with the daily terror and trauma, spent many years of my life living under the imbecility of a barbaric type of ideology.
I make decisions today and don't have to forgive either. I don't forgive Roth, the rapists, the oppressors within society, the thefts, and the evil ruthlessness either. I don't have to be martyr for the cause of mankind or its senseless brutality and terrors inflicted on womankind. Forgiving is no virtue and is a senseless way of telling someone they are not allowed to gain justice or live in peace, serenity, or security. I don't forget and will never forget. I can't change the past either. I have a right to my anger, my fury, and any form of justice. I have a right to voice my experience, speak out the truth, tell the truth, and share the truth with others. I don't need to ask because this right belongs to me. Silence is not always golden. I remember. I have my own mind, my right to my privacy and a right to feel safe from Roth or anyone like him.
I have a right to know I'll be safe when doing business in any industry; if not, there are like-minded kindred souls who will support me in my efforts and quest for justice.
I MATTER. DON'T TREAD ON ME. I AM A HUMAN & NOT YOUR CUPIE DOLL NOR YOUR PET. I FUCKING DO MATTER AND SO DOES EVERYONE OF MY GREAT TALENTS AND ABILITIES.
MY LIFE MATTERS. MY TRUST MATTERS.
I have a right to NOT BE RAPED, groped, or handled by anyone and the right to my own body. I was not born to serve the empowerment and wealth of men without my consent and participation as they think I was born for. I was not born to be his maid or his nurse either as he thinks I was born for. I was not born to wear his name no matter what he does or thinks, for I have my own name and satisfied with my own name. I can use whatever name I like as well or change it if I want to to a name I choose. I am not chattel or a piece of property, a side jewel, or your sex slave in any way. Don't grab me as if I were so.
The fact is: Men and some of their supportive misogynistic women have deprived me pay, credit, economic security, career and have forced me into despair and terror. Year after year of sexual abuse, negation of my rewards earned, freedom of expression, and attacks on my rights and self-confidence have been a yearly reprieve for misogyny and its adherents; economic depravity and forced impoverishment; religioso dominance backed by some illogical ideal that man has all rights and women have no rights; or, man's voice has a place on an Earthly throne, while women's voices are negated, silenced, hushed, and while women are forced to play second fiddle, second place, become tokens in various industries that only suggest the beginning of logical and right thinking--on man's part.
WORK WITHOUT PAY ON TOP OF EVERY OTHER ABUSE
Another dilemma I have had to endure was very intense works and being deprived my earnings by men in charge. This story, everyone would want to know about, but I am not ready to tell the public about this right this moment. I have every right to collect any pay owed me and to my earnings, although I have been robbed of that by mostly men, of course again, which is another unspoken issue I have and one day I will collect what is owed me with punitive damage costs as well.
A WOMAN'S NEEDS APPARENTLY APPEAR BORING TO A MALE PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY MOSTLY WHO TREATED ME WITH SO MUCH HATRED, CRIME, DISRESPECT, AND MISCONDUCT. WHAT IS ABSOLUTELY BORING: IS A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY THAT LAUDS AND LAUDS MEN WHILE OPPRESSING WOMEN AND FORCES AND COMPELS SOCIETY TO WORSHIP MAN AS THE IMAGE OF GOD. MY GOD WOULD NEVER OPPRESS OR HARM A GIRL OR WOMAN THOUGH NOR DEPRIVE A WOMAN ECONOMIC SUCCESS, INDEPENDENCE, AND SELF ESTEEM. WHAT GOD DO YOU WORSHIP?
Are you looking for a counselor to assist you with this problem, i can help you and heal you completely from this ordeal, permanently, while forgiving your offenders guaranteed.
ReplyDeleteCounselor? What I need is to get paid for my work and recognition for it. What's a counselor going to do? Console me & listen to my suffering as if women are supposed to suffer naturally? If they can't contract, respect my economic rights, my copyrights, my freedom, and my need to reach my goals, they really are not essential in my life.
Deletemy name is katrika ayanna henry, i am pleased to have met you.
ReplyDeleteFREEDOM FROM PREJUDICE AND RACISM, LOVE THE ANSWER.
ReplyDeleteAPPOINTMENT IN THE CONGRESS OF THE UNITED STATES
ReplyDeleteplease reply quickly
ReplyDelete